What You Do To Me
by teeney8040
Summary: Something happens to Santana at a party and it's not Quinn who finds her, not Puck, not even Britt.  It's Rachel Berry.    This is what happens next...
1. Chapter 1

A.N. This story isn't really light and fluffy, so if that's the kind of Pezberry you're looking for, you might want to look elsewhere. This isn't so much a dark fic as it is a serious one…at least for now, so if that's not your cup of tea, keep looking.

This has been on my mind for a while and I've kind of been working on it off and on for a long time and I thought today would be the day to share.

**XXX**

Rachel was cursing Finn for what seemed like the fifty-seventh time that night. The two of them – well _he_ – had been invited to a party at Azimio's house and it seemed as though Finn had made a beeline for the alcohol as soon as he'd been able to get his hands on a drink and was completely drunk.

Rachel caught Quinn's eye across the kitchen as Finn and Puck took to arm wrestling each other to pass the time and she smiled when Quinn watched them for a moment and rolled her eyes at her. She knew they were both thinking the same thing.

_Guys_.

She heard a familiar giggle to her left and she watched as Brittany was escorted upstairs by a senior who's name she didn't know and she met Quinn's eye again, both of them exchanging another look.

Rachel's nose wrinkled a moment later when she caught the scent of cigarette smoke and she frowned knowing what the smoke could do to her voice. She didn't bother telling Finn where she was going because she knew he wouldn't be listening in his state of mind so she stood up and headed for the front door to get some air.

The party had only seemed to spill out into the backyard so the porch was abandoned and Rachel took a seat on the porch swing and stared out into the quiet summer night.

"Britt?" a familiar voice called out from the yard next to the porch, causing Rachel to jump in surprise and she watched as the girl approached the front porch from the backyard.

She remained silent as the figure slowly made its way up the steps and even through the darkness Rachel could see something wasn't quite right with her fellow glee club member. Santana stopped and was standing rather awkwardly on the porch looking around in the dark.

"Santana?" Rachel called. She squinted into the darkness, thinking the dark was playing tricks with her eyes.

"Have you seen Brittany?" Santana asked.

Rachel frowned and nodded. She realized the other girl wouldn't be able to see her and she stood up and approached the other girl slowly. "She went upstairs with some senior a few minutes ago."

Rachel frowned deeper when a noise escaped the other girl that sounded too close to a sob for her to ignore. That's when she got close enough to notice Santana cradling her right arm against her body carefully. There was a cut that was bleeding rather heavily on Santana's forehead, one of her tank top straps was ripped and hanging haphazardly and one of her knees was bleeding leaving a dark trail of blood down one tanned leg.

"Oh my God," Rachel gasped. "Santana, who did this to you? Are you alright? We need to call the police!"

"Rachel, relax," Santana snapped. "We do not need to call the police." She moved to sit on the porch steps. Her movements were tight and seemed painful as she gingerly sat on the steps, barely able to bite back a whimper. "I just need Britt."

"You're not," Rachel insisted as she descended the steps swiftly and stood in front of the cheerleader.

Santana's eyes closed. "Rachel, can you please go get Brittany for me?"

Rachel blinked. She knew the other girl needed medical attention and probably did need to speak with the police but she reasoned that maybe Brittany could convince Santana to seek the help she needed. "Sure." She reached into her bag and found a small white handkerchief and handed it over to the other girl. "Here. Your face is bleeding."

Santana stared at the white folded piece of cloth and her eyes met the diva's for a moment before her hand reached out slowly to take the item. She stared at it again. "Thanks."

Rachel nodded and moved back into the house, heading upstairs. She knocked on the first door and rolled her eyes when she heard an unfamiliar voice telling her to go to hell. She was about to respond when she remembered her mission. She moved to the next door and knocked, not getting any answer. Her hand was on the knob until she heard a voice that was most definitely not Brittany moaning on the other side.

She reached the third door, finding it ajar. She peeked inside and found Brittany sound asleep on the bed, still fully clothed and she frowned. She bit her bottom lip for a moment, trying to figure out what to do and she headed back downstairs and back into the kitchen.

She caught sight of Quinn perched on a countertop across the room and her first instinct was to tell the blonde about Santana but she thought a passed out cheerleader in a room upstairs alone was more pressing so she squeezed through the bodies until Quinn was next to her.

"If this is all I missed when I was pregnant I don't feel so bad," Quinn told her, a bored expression on her face as she watched Finn and Puck having a seemingly deep conversation not that far from them.

"Um, that's nice." Rachel wasn't sure what else to say to that. "I should tell you that Brittany is upstairs in one of the bedrooms sound asleep. Or passed out. The Neanderthal to cheerleader ratio is slightly outbalanced here tonight so I thought it might be rather dangerous if she was left alone upstairs for too long."

Quinn opened her mouth before a soft expression slid over her features and she nodded, sliding off the counter. "I'll go check on her." She was gone without another word, but halfway across the kitchen she turned back to the diva and smiled. "Thanks, Rachel."

Rachel nodded, her own smile dimmed by the thought of the other cheerleader that she hoped was still out front.

She pushed the front door open and found Santana sitting exactly where she'd left her, the cheerleader looking up rather hopefully when the door opened, her face crumpling when she noticed the absence of her blonde best friend.

"I'm sorry," Rachel told her softly. "Brittany was passed out upstairs."

"Is she okay?" Santana asked, concern coloring her tone as she stood up, only to teeter drunkenly.

Rachel moved into her space quickly enough to keep the other brunette from toppling over and she backed up instantly when she realized her arms were wrapped around Santana's middle. "I apologize. Brittany is fine. I informed Quinn of her condition and she was headed upstairs to take care of her."

Santana slumped down almost instantly, her head propping in her hand. "I'm way too fucked up." She was suddenly biting back tears. "How the hell did this happen?"

Rachel's bottom lip slid between two perfect rows of teeth, not at all knowing what to say. "Would you like me to drive you home?"

Santana scoffed. "Yeah right. My dad would kick my ass if he saw me like this." She cringed when she realized what she said and she screwed her eyes shut, a tear squeezing out the corner of one eye. "Fuck. You didn't hear that."

Rachel watched her for a moment and gathered all her courage. "Santana, I don't want to overstep my bounds." She paused when the cheerleader snorted. "But there's obviously something going on with you tonight. If you like you can come to my house. My dads aren't home and you can sleep it off. Your dad never has to know."

Santana eyed her suspiciously. Like she was waiting to see if Rachel was planning some kind of epic payback for the slushies and name-calling. "Why would you possibly be nice to me?"

Rachel shrugged, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "We're teammates."

Santana opened her mouth to tell Rachel to leave her the hell alone or to call her Man Hands or some other horrible name, but instead she considered the offer for a moment. When Rachel extended a very non-manly hand to her a moment later she took it without really thinking and stood up gingerly, one hand still pressing the handkerchief to her forehead, and a few minutes later Rachel had her tucked safely into the passenger side of her car before taking off towards her house.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to let me take you to the hospital?" Rachel asked softly. "Your face looks like it might need stitches."

Santana shook her head, pressing the handkerchief to her forehead harder, willing it to stop bleeding to prove that she did not need to go to the hospital.

No way in _hell_ that was happening.

"I just need to sleep it off."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it and nodded once. "Alright."

As Rachel drove, Santana tried desperately not to think about the events that had taken place earlier and tried to focus on the soft music filtering in through the speakers in Rachel's car and how nice it felt not having to be in control and having someone else take care of her. It was a feeling that was rather foreign.

Rachel pulled her car into the driveway and cut the car off, watching for a moment as Santana seemed to take a deep breath, as if preparing herself to move. As drunk as she was, Santana was still in impeccable shape and had proved to have lots of coordination, so getting out of the car really shouldn't have been so complicated.

But it appeared as though it was.

Rachel waited at the front of the car for the other girl to stagger over to her and she wasn't quite sure how to react when the taller girl leaned into her as they walked inside. Rachel instinctively wrapped an arm around the other girl's waist and held her gently as the two of them approached the house.

Santana stumbled in to the house once the door opened, leaning heavily against the wall while Rachel locked the door behind them. The diva was visibly nervous about having Santana in her house but her nerves disappeared when she flipped on a light in the hall and she was able to finally get a good look at her.

Santana flinched against the light, her eyes narrowing and hand rising to shield her eyes from the sudden brightness. Her face was swelling slightly on the left side and her lip and eyebrow were split. There were several rough red marks on the side of her neck and her shirt was ripped and hanging off her shoulder. Rachel could see several shallow cuts on her arms and legs and she also noticed the dirt stains on the cheerleader's shorts. Rachel also noticed for the first time that Santana appeared to have lost her shoes.

"Santana," she breathed out, her mouth falling open. She was literally rendered speechless at the sight of the cheerleader.

"Please." Santana refused to meet her eyes, her tongue running over the split in her lip, wincing slightly as she shifted her position. "Please don't ask."

It was then that Rachel noticed the subtle differences in the other girl. The way she had her arms wrapped around herself, the way she was standing so far away, the guarded look in her eyes. Something about it all sent alarm bells blaring off in Rachel's head.

"I won't," Rachel promised with a shake of her head. "I won't ask. But if you ever want to tell me, I'll listen.'

Santana opened her mouth immediately to snark a comment back, but when she caught the look on the other girl's face she nodded. It wasn't pity like she was expecting. It was compassion and for some reason it ignited something in her chest that caused tears to spring to her eyes. She swallowed hard, her eyes closing as a wave of pain washed over her. "Would you mind if I took a shower?"

Rachel shook her head. "I'll make some coffee while you do. My bedroom is at the top of the stairs. There are towels in the closet and you can wear anything you find that you deem appropriate."

Santana swallowed hard as she pushed off the wall. "Thanks, Rachel."

**XX**

Santana slid the bathroom door closed most of the way, leaving a crack open and she pulled her ruined tank top over her head, letting it fall to the floor. She slid her shorts down her legs, hissing when they came into contact with her knee. Her rush to get dressed coupled with the dark of the forest behind Azimio's house left her with only those two articles of clothing left.

She stepped into the steaming shower and sighed heavily as the hot water seared over her. She watched, her gaze transfixed on the pink water circling the drain, washing the blood from her body. She lathered her hair with shampoo and scrubbed at her skin until she felt satisfied that he was washed away from her skin.

It was only then that she allowed herself to think about what had happened earlier at the party. A sob escaped her lips as she remembered the way the football player's hands groped and grabbed at her.

_She'd been so drunk that she could barely protest when he'd pulled her from the backyard and further into the woods. The sounds of the party died around them when he turned on her and pulled her into his body, kissing her roughly. She pulled out of his grasp, only to collapse drunkenly on the ground._

She'd been too drunk to push him off, too drunk to run, too drunk to resist. She had tried. When it finally registered what was about to happen all she could do was shut her mind off, one word dying on her lips.

No.

A sob escaped her lips as bile rose in her throat. She was barely able to shut the water off before she scrambled from the tub, dropping to her knees to empty the contents of her stomach in the toilet.

She gagged and heaved, her breath coming out in ragged gulps as she tried desperately to get herself under control. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself before rinsing her mouth out at the sink.

She cursed when she realized her brow was bleeding heavily again and she rifled through the medicine cabinet for a band-aid, hoping it would do the trick to stop the bleeding enough to keep Rachel off her back about going to the damn hospital.

She took a moment to compose herself before opening the door and stepping into Rachel's bedroom. She made her way to the closet praying she would be able to find something to wear that didn't have an animal face on the front and as she swept through the diva's clothes she found a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top.

Once she was dressed she made her way downstairs. As she went she took in the pictures on the walls of Rachel and her fathers, noting how happy the three of them looked in every photo.

Her own home was cold and devoid of any decoration that wasn't sleek and expensive. Her mother's taste would never allow candid photos of the three of them. It struck her in that moment how different hers and Rachel's lives were.

She followed the smell of fresh brewed coffee to the kitchen and found Rachel leaned against the counter sipping a glass of juice.

Rachel looked up when she heard footsteps and offered the cheerleader another timid smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Still way too drunk," Santana replied with a sigh as she dropped into a chair at the counter. "But better. Thanks." Her elbows dropped to the counter and she threaded the fingers from both hands through her hair, glancing up when a plate of plain toast was pushed in front of her.

"I thought it would help soak up some of the alcohol," Rachel offered with a shrug.

Santana glanced down at the toast and then back to the diva. "Thank you." She was caught completely off guard by this version of Rachel Berry. She was quiet and kind and thoughtful.

It was nice.

Rachel nodded and headed for a cupboard. "Would you like coffee or juice? We also have soda or water if you'd prefer."

"Coffee. Please," Santana replied as she took a timid bite of toast, willing it to stay down, and watched the shorter girl move around the kitchen, humming quietly to herself.

"Sugar and cream?"

"Sure, a little of both," Santana told her. Her lips twitched into a sort of sad half-smile when Rachel set the mug down in front of her a moment later. "Thanks…or whatever."

Rachel nodded. "Is there anything else you need?"

Santana honestly felt like she was asking too much, but one more thing would certainly help. "Do you have any aspirin?"

Rachel nodded and turned again immediately. "How many would you like?"

"Is five too many, you think?" Santana asked, only half-serious.

"Possibly," Rachel murmured as she read the side of the bottle. "Why don't you start with four? That's prescription strength."

Santana nodded and accepted the medicine with another half-smile. "Are you sure Brittany was okay?"

Rachel nodded. "Quinn will take good care of her."

"Thank you for looking out for her," Santana told her softly, her index finger tracing the rim of her mug.

"Of course," Rachel whispered.

The two were quiet for a few minutes until Rachel couldn't stand it any longer. "Santana…"

The cheerleader met her gaze and saw the questions in those eyes and she shook her head, her walls thrown up immediately. "No."

"Please," Rachel begged. "I can help you."

Santana felt the sting of tears again and her jaw clenched. "I can't."

Rachel searched her eyes for a moment and nodded. "Okay." She set her glass in the sink. "Should I show you the guestroom?"

Santana nodded and stood up, placing her mug in the sink and following the other girl up the stairs.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Rachel turned to be sure the other girl was still behind her and that's when she noticed the gash on Santana's knee was bleeding again.

"You're still bleeding," she pointed out with a frown.

Santana glanced down at it, flinching when she remembered how the gash had gotten there.

_He grabbed her shirt roughly, grunting a little when the strap of her top ripped under his huge hands. He pulled her close and ran his tongue across her neck, laughing when she whimpered._

"_Shut it, Lopez," he growled when she started to beg him to let her go. He howled in pain a moment later when she tried to knee him in the groin, hitting more of his thigh than his crotch due to her drunken state._

_She took the opportunity to try to run when his hands cupped his groin but he was after her again, yanking on her ponytail and pulling her to a stop. He pulled her around to face him and she fell, her knee catching a small broken tree and slicing open painfully._

_She could see his teeth glint in the moonlight as he grinned down at her, yanking at her cutoffs as he lowered himself on top of her._

"Santana," Rachel said softly, reaching out to the other girl and frowning when Santana flinched away violently, a sob escaping her lips. She pulled back instantly. "It's just me."

Santana's breathing was labored as she tried to recover from the impact of the flashback that had nearly knocked her off her feet and she shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry."

Rachel shook her head and it almost seemed as though she was putting pieces of the night together in her head. She reached for the cheerleader's hand and pulled her back into the bathroom. "Let me clean your knee up."

"I'm fine, Rachel," Santana insisted quietly.

Rachel gave her a stern look. "I will not have you ruining glee club's chances at winning nationals this year because you lost your leg to some unfortunate disease and can no longer dance and all because you were too stubborn to let me help you. Sit."

Santana raised an eyebrow at the tone of the girl's voice but again was overcome with the feeling of someone else taking care of her, so she slid up onto the counter top and waited for Rachel to return with the first aid kit.

Rachel set the kit on Santana's lap and opened it, the cheerleader holding it still as Rachel rummaged through it.

"Does Finn know you came home without him?" Santana wondered as she watched Rachel dip cotton balls into alcohol.

Rachel's eyes went wide suddenly. "I forgot all about him."

Santana allowed herself to grin at that. "Don't worry about it, he's probably passed out by now."

Rachel seemed to consider this for a moment and nodded, going about her previous task. She winced when Santana hissed in pain as she cleaned the deep cut on her knee. She pursed her lips and blew across the gash, hoping to ease the sting a little and she blushed when she caught Santana's eye. "Sorry."

Rachel straightened again and dug through the box for a bandage. Her touches were light and careful, such a stark difference from the groping and grabbing she'd been subject to an hour before.

Once the bandage on her knee was secure Santana made a move to get off the counter when Rachel stopped her again. "Are you sure I can't convince you to go to the emergency room? I think your eyebrow needs stitches."

Santana shook her head, her gaze steely. "Pass." She moved to get off the counter but a gentle hand on her wrist stopped her. She tugged her hand free, flinching back as she did, nearly toppling backwards off the counter in the process.

"I'm sorry," Rachel told her softly, pulling her hand back and studying Santana carefully for a moment. "I don't think the bandage you put on your eyebrow will stay while you're sleeping. I was just going to change it."

Santana exhaled a shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry."

Rachel nodded again and dug through the first aid kit to locate a few butterfly bandages. She gently cleaned the wound and placed the bandages across the Latina's eyebrow delicately, trying to keep the cut from bursting open wider. She winced thinking about how painful it must be.

"You're all set," Rachel told her softly, offering a timid smile.

Santana's eyes welled with tears and she bit her lip in desperation to keep them from spilling down her cheeks but with a sniffle the dam broke and the tears fell. She swiped at them, angry with herself for falling apart in front of anyone.

Rachel found herself moving on instinct alone and she moved forward slowly and wrapped the cheerleader in a careful hug. She felt the taller girl stiffen the moment her arms wrapped around her, but she relaxed after a few moments and seemed to melt into the embrace.

Rachel rubbed her back softly and whispered that everything would be okay and it was all Santana could do not to break down completely in her arms. She could feel the other girl trembling in her arms as her tears tapered off.

"Come on, I'll show you to the guestroom," Rachel told her quietly as she pulled back, noticing how cold she suddenly felt.

Santana nodded and slid off the counter, grateful when the other girl didn't push. She was shocked when Rachel offered her hand a moment later, but not nearly as shocked as when she actually took it and allowed herself to be led to the guestroom.

Rachel released her hand to flip on the light in the guestroom and hovered in the doorway when Santana moved into the room and sat on the edge of the bed carefully. She ran a hand through her still damp hair and sighed, wincing slightly as she did.

"If you need anything, just let me know," Rachel told her. "My dads aren't expected back for a few days so you can stay as long as you need."

"Thanks," Santana whispered. She opened her mouth to say something. Anything to get the other girl to stay, but instead all that came out was, "Night."

"Good night," Rachel replied with one more soft smile before closing the door and heading back to her bedroom.

Santana clicked on a small lamp on the bedside table and turned the main light off before climbing into bed. She wasn't entirely uncomfortable sleeping in a bed that wasn't hers. She was used to it with Cheerios travel and staying at Brittany's house more than her own so it wasn't a horrible feeling to slide under the covers in a strange bed in a strange house. The fact that Rachel Berry was sleeping in the room next to hers surprisingly made her feel much more comfortable than it probably should have.

She tried to sleep. She tried deep breathing and even some meditation but nothing seemed to be able to lull her body into a sense of relaxation enough to let her sleep. She was entirely too keyed up and I didn't help that every time she closed her eyes she pictured his face hovering over hers, breathing on her neck and smiling down at her.

She finally flung the blankets aside and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She sighed heavily as she stood up and opened the door, peeking her head out into the hall she noticed a dim light coming from Rachel's room through the door that had been left open a crack and she contemplated her next move.

**XX**

**A.N. **So this is just the start of things. I'm not sure if anyone would want to read more. I have more but I wasn't sure what the reaction to this one would be so I left it here. Anyways, please let me know what you thought and if you would like to read more of this one and I'll post more.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

A.N. Ask and you shall receive…

**XX**

A light knock on the door made Rachel glance up from the old black and white movie that had captured her attention. She'd been unable to sleep after repeatedly seeing a haunted look flash in Santana's eyes all night and had hoped that the TV would distract her until she fell asleep. Her eyes fell to the door where Santana was standing.

"Are you alright?" she asked as she muted the TV.

Santana shook her head and turned. "Forget it."

"Wait!" Rachel called. She watched the cheerleader hesitate and turn back around.

Santana hovered in the doorway again. "Would you mind if I stayed in here tonight?"

Rachel shook her head and scooted over in bed, pulling the blanket aside for the other girl to slide in.

Santana crawled into the bed slowly, propping herself up on the pillows behind her like Rachel had done and with a silent smile the TV was unmuted and the girls focused on the movie.

Rachel was so engrossed in the movie that she barely recognized the shift in the bed as Santana moved. The second time she noticed it but kept her eyes on the screen, figuring the other girl was just trying to get comfortable, but the third time found Santana seated much closer to Rachel, their legs a breath apart under the blankets and their forearms touching lightly on top of the blankets.

As the movie went on Santana burrowed herself deeper into the blankets around her and ended up with her head resting against Rachel's arm as they watched. It was strange for her to think that this was the safest she'd felt all night.

"Hey, Rachel?" she mumbled softly, nearing sleep.

"Hmm?" Rachel hummed as she began to idly play with a curl in the cheerleader's hair draped across her arm.

Santana felt a wave of contentment at the diva's actions. She had always loved when people played with her hair. "I'm sorry I've always been such a bitch to you. I wish I could make you understand."

"Understand what?" Rachel asked softly. When she didn't get a response she glanced down and noticed the cheerleader had fallen asleep.

She studied the sleeping girl for a moment, wishing she had been able to get Santana to open up about what had happened. It also made her wonder what would happen in the morning when Santana wasn't intoxicated. She wondered if life would go on as usual and if the other girl would remember a thing about this night.

**XX**

The buzzing from Santana's cell phone woke her up early the next morning. She cracked one eye open enough to grab the phone from the table beside the bed and slid it open to reveal a text from Brittany.

_Where are you?_

_Xo, B_

Santana sighed, rolling onto her back gently, still sore from the night before. She tapped out a reply to Brittany and hit send.

_Too drunk to drive, stayed with Rachel_

_Xo, S_

A moment later there was another text.

_Glee Rachel?_

_Xo,B_

Santana rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her lips.

_Yeah, B_

_Xo, S_

She waited a minute and when she didn't get another response she had a chance to take in her surroundings and that was when she noticed she was alone in bed. She flung the blankets back and crawled carefully out of the bed, heading downstairs where she found Rachel in the kitchen.

"Good morning," Rachel greeted softly. The harsh light of day brought Santana's injuries into stark focus. She tried desperately to hide the wince that passed over her features as she was able to fully take in those injuries.

"Morning," Santana repeated. She took a seat at the kitchen table, her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. "I know I look like shit."

"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked, ignoring the comment. She set some coffee, aspirin and plain toast in front of the other girl, sensing too much might make her sick.

"Thank you," Santana said softly. She sipped her coffee to take the medicine. "I feel like I got hit by a train."

"A football player-sized train?" Rachel wondered.

Santana's eyes snapped up to meet the diva's. Dark eyes seemed to penetrate down to her soul, practically daring Santana to lie. Rachel's eyes looked curious and sad, and under normal circumstances Santana would have smacked the look right off the other girl's face, but she was far too tired and sore. So she sighed instead. "Look, Rachel, last night was one of the worst I've ever had and it was nice of you to let me stay here, but that's where the discussion of anything and everything related to last night ends. Understand?"

Rachel nodded and sat down at the table. "Understand."

"And this doesn't make us friends," Santana added, the hint of a smile teasing the corners of her lips.

Rachel smiled a little at that and nodded again. "Okay." She pursed her lips and shifted her weight from foot to foot several times. She looked pensive and it made Santana roll her eyes since she'd seen the look before.

"What, Rachel?" Santana sighed.

Rachel suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable and that instantly had Santana on edge when the diva opened her mouth. "It's just…if something did happen last night that might require more in-depth medical attention, such as an emergency contraceptive or antibiotics or any sort of testing…I just think that should be seen to today before any more time passes. And agreeing to any of those things would not be admitting to anything of any sort happening."

Santana sighed heavily and shook her head. "Not necessary."

"Please, Santana," Rachel suddenly begged. "You don't even have to tell me. You can just leave for a few hours and take care of it. I promise I won't ask or assume anything. Just please take care of yourself."

"Rachel, stop," Santana snapped. She closed her eyes and sighed, flinching as she remembered the way he had grunted in her ear about not wanting to catch anything from the biggest slut in school as he slipped a condom on. "I promise you that if there was something that needed to be done, I would be doing it right now. This is not me self-destructing. It's just not necessary. I promise."

Rachel studied her for a moment and finally nodded, believing that Santana had far too much self-respect to let something important like this go. She seemed to be contemplating something else for a moment before opening her mouth. "I also wonder what you're going to tell everyone at school Monday. And your parents, what will they say?"

Santana flinched slightly at the thought. "I won't see my parents for three weeks. They left this morning for Europe. And as far as everyone at school…I'll figure it out when I get there."

"You could tell them the truth," Rachel suggested softly. "You could tell me the truth. I promise it would stay between us."

Santana felt a strange sensation in her chest at that statement. It was as if some of the iciness in her chest melted around her heart and it warmed just a little to Rachel freaking Berry. Santana sighed and stood up from the counter. "I should go. Get outta your hair."

"You could stay," Rachel suggested immediately, blurting it out before she could stop herself, blushing bright red once the words left her mouth. She shrugged, trying to casually play it off. "If you wanted to. My dads are gone for a few days so if you feel like company, I do too."

Santana considered the offer for a moment and realized that not being alone for once sounded really damn good. She narrowed her eyes playfully and wagged a finger at the other girl. "No musicals and don't even think about giving me shit if I decide I want to eat a burger later."

Rachel grinned. It was one of those thousand-watt smiles that for some strange reason made Santana feel like everything might actually be okay. "Deal."

Santana half-nodded, smirking. "Mind driving me home so I can at least pick up some clothes?"

"Of course!" Rachel nodded and bounded off to locate her keys and Santana watched her with a reluctant grin, shaking her head wondering what the hell she'd just agreed to.

**XX**

An hour later the two girls were pulling into Rachel's driveway again, Santana pulling her black BMW Z3 in behind Rachel's little red Prius and the girls locked their cars and made their way back into the house.

"You can drop your bag in the guest room," Rachel told the other girl as they entered the house. "Or my room if you prefer."

Santana nodded. This should be weird, she thought. Climbing the stairs to Rachel's room to deposit her duffel bag should have felt awkward and way too weird for words but something about the warmth that seemed to consume her the moment she walked in the door kept any awkwardness from creeping into things.

When Santana returned to the kitchen Rachel was brewing another pot of coffee and cleaning up around the kitchen. Santana took a seat at the counter, her chin propped in her hand and her elbow on the counter. She watched the diva for a moment before her mind wandered to the night before when her eyes landed on an ugly scratch on the inside of her right wrist.

Tears welled in her eyes and she frowned. She glanced up when a mug of coffee was set down in front of her and found a set of warm chocolate eyes watching her carefully.

Rachel reached out and cradled Santana's right hand in both of hers carefully. She winced at the sight of the red, raised line marring the perfect skin on the inside of the cheerleader's wrist. She ran the pads of her fingers over the scratch lightly. "Would you like a bandage for this?"

Santana shook her head, silently wondering what the hell her body was doing every time the smaller girl touched her.

Her body only reacted like that to one person.

Brittany.

Not to Rachel Berry.

It was beginning to freak her out.

"Are you sure you can't tell me what happened?" Rachel asked softly, deciding that since she technically wasn't asking directly what had happened she wasn't exactly breaking the promise she'd made the night before not to ask.

Santana shook her head once, grasping the mug between her hands and staring at the coffee. "Nothing happened worth talking about."

"You're lying," Rachel pointed out.

"Sometimes lies are easier than the truth," Santana replied with a shrug.

Rachel seemed to understand that whatever was going on with Santana was too big to put into words so instead she nodded. "If nothing else, at least let me change your other bandages."

"You don't have to, Rachel," Santana told her, standing from the counter. She was determined to act as though nothing had happened the night before.

Rachel shook her head. "I don't mind." She shot the cheerleader a stern look. "Just accept that while you're my guest I'll be the one taking care of you. Sit."

"I'm not a dog." But Rachel was already up and out of the room, returning a minute later with the first aid kit. She set it on the counter next to Santana, patting the cheerleader's legs gently to get her to swing around in her seat.

Rachel frowned, leaning closer so she could get a closer look at the other girl's eyebrow. "It's rather swollen. Does it hurt?"

Santana shrugged a shoulder, suddenly desperate to focus on her breathing. Having Rachel so close and having a clear head caused Santana to suddenly realize how good the diva smelled. She felt that familiar swirl of strange anticipation that she felt more often than not when she and Brittany would make out. Again she cursed her body for deceiving her. But this time she chalked it up to having a mild head injury and when she tuned back into the moment she realized that Rachel was humming to herself as she changed Santana's bandages.

"Do you ever stop singing?" Santana asked, humor coloring her voice.

Rachel met her eyes and again Santana's stomach flipped, causing the Latina to frown wondering again what the hell her body was doing. Rachel mistook the frown and blinked rapidly, her expression growing slightly somber as she reached up to remove the bandage from the cheerleader's brow. "I'm sorry."

Santana shook her head causing Rachel to accidentally rip a bandage off her eyebrow. "Ow!"

"I'm so sorry!" Rachel shrieked, looking horrified as the gash splitting the cheerleader's eyebrow apart began to bleed rather profusely. She leaned over the counter and grabbed paper towels and pressed them to Santana's face, her other hand cradling the back of the Latina's head gently to keep pressure on the wound. "Santana, I'm so sorry."

"Rach, I'm fine," Santana assured her softly. She took hold of the wad of paper towels and pressed them to her face, allowing Rachel to straighten back up and when Santana met her gaze again she noticed a rather bewildered look on the diva's face. "What? I know I must resemble Carrie at the prom. You don't have to stare."

"You called me Rach," Rachel replied softly.

"I'm fairly certain that I'm mildly concussed," Santana replied with a teasing smirk, causing the diva's smile to disappear instantly. "I'm kidding. Lighten up, Broadway."

Rachel's smile reappeared immediately. "That's the first non-derogatory nickname I've ever had."

"Jesus." Santana felt her heart ache a little in her chest. "How have you not gone machine gun happy in that place yet?"

"I'm destined for greatness and not one person in Lima, Ohio can keep me down," Rachel replied brightly, as if she'd rehearsed the statement a million times.

Santana smirked. "Practiced that a few times, have we?"

"Maybe," Rachel replied as she reached for the paper towels. "Let me see."

"Hey, Rachel?" Santana asked softly after a quiet moment.

"Hmm?" Rachel hummed her response as she busied herself dressing the other girl's eyebrow gently.

Santana's bottom lip slid between two rows of perfect teeth for a moment. "Thanks, or whatever. It's cool of you considering I've been a total bitch to you since the day we met."

Rachel met her gaze and those eyes suddenly conveyed a warmth and comfort that Santana hadn't ever known and she felt something twist inside her and she felt that warmth resonate in her chest once more. "I'm glad I could help." With that she turned and moved to the freezer, yanking it open and searching for something. She frowned and finally pulled a frozen bag of peas out and wrapping them in a small dish towel. She handed them over with a shrug. "No ice packs. This will have to do for now. I should have given you ice for your face last night. I'm sorry."

"It was dark and I was drunk," Santana dismissed as she took the bag, rather touched by the gesture and she realized again how strange it was to have someone taking care of her for a change. "And it's not like you didn't take really good care of me anyways."

Rachel looked rather proud at that. "How about a movie?"

"Remember what I said earlier," Santana pointed out with a smirk.

Rachel nodded. "No musicals. We do own a rather extensive collection of movies that involve no singing or dancing."

"I'm surprised you know that movies exist without singing or dancing, Rach," Santana teased, deciding in that moment that she liked the way that particular nickname rolled off her tongue.

"Your wit astounds me," Rachel shot back with a playful glare.

"Don't even think about getting feisty with me, Berry," Santana told her, a teasing smile on her lips. "I may be concussed, but I can still kick your pretty Broadway ass."

"Pretty?" Rachel questioned immediately, unable to help herself.

Santana shrugged instantly, playing it off. "I have to admit that if you went a little less on the argyle you'd be pretty hot, lady." She paused a moment to think. "Definitely keep the skirts though."

Rachel suddenly beamed. "I knew those skirts conveyed that I mean business."

"It has nothing to do with business," Santana told her with a smirk. "And absolutely every to do with the fact that you have legs for days."

Rachel stood rather bewildered at the fact that one of the most popular girls in school was joking with her and giving her nicknames and complimenting her. It was everything she'd ever dreamed of. "Head injuries suit you. This is the nicest you've ever been to me."

Santana smirked when she noticed the teasing glint in the other girl's eyes and she rolled her own eyes and stood up, pulling the diva into the living room with her. "Come on, I'm picking the movie."

"Of course you are," Rachel teased.

**XX**

A.N. Thanks for reading. Let me know if you guys want to read more.


	3. Chapter 3

A.N. Sorry for the delay…work killed me this week. Thanks to everyone that reviewed! Enjoy…

**XX**

Later that night the two girls were back in Rachel's bed watching a movie and Rachel found herself watching the other girl out of the corner of her eye. She hated that she knew that something horrible was going on with the Santana and the cheerleader wouldn't…or couldn't talk about what she was going through.

It had been a rather strange day. Rachel found that once Santana stopped acting like she had to be the badass that everyone feared, she was actually rather nice. She was easy-going and soft-spoken and she was obviously incredibly bright and Rachel cursed the social system at school for keeping them from being friends because she found that she liked this version of Santana Lopez immensely.

Though she was still incredibly worried for her. Rachel found that throughout the day Santana would zone out with a far away look in her eye and it was those eyes of hers that seemed to give her away. They would be smiling and shining with mirth one moment and then dark and troubled the next.

Santana had been ignoring her cell phone most of the day, sending selective texts to who she assumed to be Brittany even though it seemed as though her phone had been blowing up all day.

Rachel's own phone had been blowing up as well. But her phone only seemed to be receiving calls and texts from Finn wondering where she was and what she was doing and whose car was in her driveway.

She would sigh and shake her head and try to feed him excuses as to why she was busy without giving away who she was busy with, but when it became obvious that he had actually driven by her house she let him know that she had some of the glee girls over for some female bonding. He didn't have to know that it was only Santana. It was enough to get him to back off though and for that she was grateful.

The fourth movie of the afternoon was Rachel's choice and she picked Titanic, and just as Jack decided he was king of the world, Rachel captured her bottom lip between her teeth and sat pensively for a moment.

"Just say it, Rachel," Santana told her softly, startling the diva from her thoughts.

"I'm sorry?" Rachel asked.

Santana reached over and grabbed the remote from her, silencing the TV and turning towards her. "Whatever it is that has you so quiet that you're apparently dying to ask me. You freak me out a little when you're silent. As long as it's not about last night, ask away."

Rachel thought a moment. "Well what if it's about last night but not the part of last night you forbade me to speak of?" She watched from the corner of her eye as the other girl's face practically crumpled.

"Can we please just forget that it ever happened?"

Rachel reached out and grasped the other girl's left hand and held it between both of hers, her thumb stroking absently at the top of Santana's hand. "I'm not sure that's possible."

"What did you want to ask?" Santana wondered softly, slumping into the other girl's frame slightly and leaning against her.

Rachel was quiet for a long moment. "You mentioned something right before you fell asleep last night. Something about wishing you could make me understand."

Santana felt a wave of panic wash over her for a moment before she shrugged it off, keeping her voice as even as possible. "It must have been the head injury." She knew if she let it slip that she had been crushing on the diva for months - and had tormented her to keep her away - that she would probably be thrown out on her ass.

"Oh." Rachel slumped slightly. The statement had seemed so intriguing to her and she had been dying to know what it meant since it had slipped from the taller girl's lips the night before. Rachel eyed Santana carefully for a moment, nodding slowly after a few moments. "Is there anything else I can do?" she asked tentatively. She took a breath preparing for what else she had to ask. "Or perhaps anything I shouldn't do?"

Santana turned her head and met those warm eyes once more. Those eyes that somehow silently conveyed the underlying question Rachel wasn't able to voice aloud. Santana felt a wave of emotion suddenly choking at her, making her chest heave and her throat tighten. She looked away, her gaze falling to her hands for a moment before they closed. Violent images from the night before suddenly plagued her and her eyes snapped open once again.

She suddenly realized that the night before she'd been safe. The alcohol in her system had been enough to knock her out and save her from what was sure to be a night full of visions and memories plaguing her.

"Santana?" Rachel prodded gently, her voice concerned and eyes worried.

The cheerleader swallowed hard and shook her head. "Don't…" she trailed off when her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and focused on the hand slipped into hers. Rachel's hands were so soft. "Just don't…grab me." She was silent for a moment as she considered her next words. "Or pull my hair. I like it when you play with my hair, but please don't tug on my ponytail."

Rachel was quiet as she listened to the other girl, her heart aching in her chest. She felt like she was putting pieces of this whole thing together. "Anything else?"

"Just…" Santana trailed off again before meeting Rachel's eyes. "Just don't go. Okay?"

Rachel knew that Santana wasn't referring to the immediate future. She wasn't sure how she knew but she did.

"I know I can be a bitch…" she trailed off again. "Just don't go."

"I promise," Rachel told her softly.

**XX**

"_You wear those short skirts and dresses all the time, don't act like you don't want this," he grunted into her ear from behind as he groped at her breasts roughly, causing her to wince. _

_She thrust her elbow back in a vain attempt to catch him in the ribs or the stomach, hoping he would release her, but he tugged on her ponytail and jerked his knee at the back of her legs, causing her to hit the ground._

"_Bitch!" he cursed as he smacked her across the face. "You'll pay for that. You're nothing but a whore."_

"_Please…" she whispered as tears leaked from the corners of both her eyes._

_His eyes narrowed and his grin stretched farther across his face. "You don't have to beg for it, honey, you're gonna get it."_

"_Please, no," she begged. "Stop." She took in a deep breath and began to yell suddenly. "Help! Someone help me! Please!"_

_He suddenly punched her in the face, causing her to yelp painfully. "You'll shut the hell up or I'll drag your little blonde friend out here and make this seem like foreplay. Got me?"_

"No!" Santana screamed as she sat bolt upright in bed, her arms flailing out in front of her.

A hand on her arm caused her to jump and shoved the body away from her. She crawled frantically out of bed, not stopping until she was pressed against the wall, her knees drawn up to her body. A sob escaped her lips as she dropped her head to her knees.

"Santana, it's just me," Rachel said softly as she approached the other girl slowly, her hands out in front of her. She crouched down in front of the other girl, keeping some distance between them. "Santana?" Dark eyes rose to meet hers and it broke her heart to see those eyes so terrified. "It was just a dream."

Santana shook her head and Rachel moved so she could sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her. Santana leaned further into her body so Rachel wrapped both arms around her and held her tight.

Santana fisted both hands in the tee shirt Rachel was wearing and clutched to the other girl.

"Santana…" Rachel whispered.

"Just…" Santana started, pulling on the other girl's tee shirt, effectively pulling Rachel closer. "Just stay here. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere," Rachel promised softly. She held the trembling girl close for several minutes, until Santana had composed herself enough to be pulled gently off the floor and back towards the bed.

Rachel got herself settled and pulled Santana into her arms, cradling her gently against her side, smiling a little when the other girl sighed rather contently. The room was quiet, save for the soft music playing from the ipod dock next to the bed and Rachel was sure Santana had fallen back to sleep until the Latina stirred next to her.

"Hey, Rachel?" Santana questioned softly. She began to pick at a loose string poking out from Rachel's shirt.

"Hmm?" Rachel hummed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Rachel replied.

Santana hesitated a moment before she spoke, unsure if she really wanted an answer to her question. "Do you believe in Karma?"

Rachel blinked at the question and the implications of that question. She wasn't sure how exactly to answer. She remained silent so long that Santana let out a soft, bitter laugh.

"It's okay if you do," Santana mumbled.

"I…I don't know," Rachel replied honestly. "I used to…but after everything you've been through, I…I'm not sure what to believe."

"You don't even know what I've been through," Santana reminded her.

"Because you refuse to tell me!" Rachel said, her voice rising slightly in the quiet of the room.

Santana was quiet for a long stretch of moments, but this time Rachel knew she was still awake. She could feel the other girl's heart beating frantically against her own body so she began to run her fingers through Santana's hair, hoping the action would soothe the other girl.

"I believe in it," Santana said suddenly, her voice thick with emotion. "I should have known that years of being a total bitch would come back to bite me."

"Forgive my language, but that's bullshit," Rachel told her. "Nothing you've ever done in the past makes you deserving of this."

"How do you know?" Santana whispered.

Rachel pulled her closer and squeezed her gently. "Because I have a pretty good idea about what happened, and no one deserves that."

Santana stared at her for several long moments. She finally blinked, sighing heavily. She shook her head, wanting to shelve this particular conversation for another time, not liking the way her stomach was twisted in knots.

"Just sleep," Rachel whispered against her hair.

"Not sure I can," Santana mumbled back, sleep already pulling at her.

"It's just you and me here, San," Rachel told her softly.

Santana nodded slightly, deciding instantly that she really liked the way that particular nickname fell from the diva's lips. She felt her body trying desperately to slip back into sleep, her limbs twitching periodically as a particularly scary or violent image would flood her brain, waking her again. Rachel would then soothe her back into a state of comfort before she finally fell into a deep, restless sleep.

**XX**

Rachel's head bobbed up and down with the rhythm of the elliptical machine as she ran on it early Monday morning. Her eyes were on the sleeping form in her bed. Santana was sleeping rather fitfully, her hands or legs twitching every minute or two, her brow tightened in a deep frown and Rachel wasn't sure if she should wake the other girl or let her sleep.

Neither of them had gotten much rest since Santana had been staying with her. They were both woken in the middle of the night when the taller brunette would wake in the middle of a nightmare in a fit of screams and thrashing.

Rachel had a pretty good idea what had happened to the other girl and it made her physically ill to think about. And she hated the fact that Santana had said so little about what had happened to her. That, coupled with the fact that Santana had grown more quiet and agitated the night before with each passing hour, had Rachel extremely concerned.

She stepped off her machine and slipped into the bathroom to take a quick shower. As the water washed away the soap and shampoo she pondered possibly telling a trusted adult, like one of her fathers or Mr. Schuester about her concerns and suspicions, but part of her knew she'd never, ever break Santana's confidence, especially since it seemed like the other girl was only confiding what little information she was sharing with her.

Ten minutes later she was wrapped in a towel and standing in her closet, rolling her eyes at the cutoffs and tank top that Santana had been wearing the night of the party that were still in a pile on the otherwise pristine floor of her closet. She picked both items up and was preparing to thrown them in her hamper when something came over her and she decided to tuck them away in the corner of her closet behind several pairs of her shoes. She wasn't exactly what it was that she felt that compelled her to do so, but she had always been one to follow her instincts.

She changed for school quickly and perched on the edge of the bed, readying herself for the rather unpleasant task of waking Santana up. She had found that the other girl had a tendency to wake up flailing more often than not and Rachel had been struck in the face once already accidentally.

"Santana," Rachel called softly. She leaned her head back slightly as she reached out to nudge the other girl gently with her hand. "Wake up."

Santana swatted at her hand lightly, her lips pursing and frown deepening. "Mmhph."

"Santana," she called more loudly. "We have school." She allowed her hand to rest on Santana's arm and shook her very gently.

At the movement Santana suddenly bolted upright in bed, her eyes wild and arms flailing, causing Rachel to lean back. "Jesus!"

"It's just me," Rachel told her soothingly.

Santana's eyes searched her surroundings and she calmed significantly when she realized she and Rachel were alone in the room. She huffed a sigh and ran a hand over her hair, pulling it from her face. "God. I'm sorry."

"Another nightmare?" Rachel asked. She reached out and rubbed slow circles on the taller girl's back.

Santana met her eyes for a moment before nodding dismissively. "I'm gonna shower."

"I'll be downstairs," Rachel told her with a nod, standing to exit the room.

"Hey, Rachel?" Santana called out, causing the diva to stop and spin in place. "This is probably going to sound really weird…but every instinct inside me is telling me to threaten you to keep this quiet. I guess because all I've ever done is threaten you." She was quiet and shook her head. "But my heart is telling me to ask you nicely because we're friends. Can you please promise to keep this to yourself?"

Rachel nodded solemnly and her index finger made a little cross over her heart. "Cross my heart."

Santana smiled a strange little half-smile at her in that moment and something about the smile made Rachel's heart flutter in her chest. She returned the smile and turned, heading downstairs as she thought about her reaction to one tiny action.

Strange indeed.

**XX**

**A.N. **Thanks for reading guys! Up next the girls return to school and pretty much everyone realizes something big went down. Stay tuned!


	4. Chapter 4

A.N. Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. I've been super busy lately. I hope that I'm doing this one justice, especially Santana's characterization. I just feel like she would be the girl that would be the most desperate to return to her normal self, shutting the whole thing out.

Anyways, next part. Enjoy.

**XX**

Thirty minutes later Rachel was seated at the island drinking juice and skimming the newspaper when Santana entered the room. It was strange to see her dressed in anything but the cheerleading uniform she had been forced to wear since their freshman year when she'd made the team.

To the naked eye she looked completely normal. Just another teenage girl ready for school. It was strange to Rachel that she was suddenly someone on the inside. Because only someone on the inside would know that Santana's eyes were different. Usually calm, calculated and haughty, now they were nervous, timid and rather haunted. It was in the way she stood, her shoulders slumped just enough and the way her head tilted slightly so her gaze met more of the floor than anything else before her.

It was strange and terribly unnerving.

"Breakfast?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana plucked an apple from the fruit basket and held it up. "Check."

"You should eat more than that," Rachel insisted.

Santana shook her head. "I doubt I'll eat this."

"You're nervous," Rachel noted, more of a statement than a question.

Santana's hands were busy with the apple, two fingers pinching the stem while the other hand spun the fruit, until she stem snapped right off.

"We should go," Rachel said softly. She'd learned very quickly that putting Santana on the spot was not the ideal way to get the other girl to open up to her. It was best to give her the space she needed and eventually she would say whatever it was that needed to be said.

Santana glanced up and gave her a half-grateful, half-terrified smile and nodded as well as she headed for the door.

"Santana?"

The cheerleader turned and she was shocked at the look in the diva's eye. Rachel stood before her, her eyes cold and calculating suddenly and Santana suddenly understood how she herself managed to terrify people with just one look. She wondered idly if Rachel had learned the look from her.

"I just wanted to make something perfectly clear." Rachel took a step towards her. She placed a gentle hand on the taller girl's arm. "If I find out who did this to you…I might kill him."

Santana could only nod her head once, too stunned to do anything more.

Then, on a dime, Rachel grinned and nodded, looking once again the chipper girl she usually was. "Come on, we'll be late."

There was nothing for Santana to do but follow in her wake, a little bewildered.

It was a short drive to school and once they were there Rachel got out of her car and grabbed her bag, rounding her car to lean against the passenger door to wait for Santana to exit her car parked in the adjoining spot.

Rachel could see the taller girl staring at the steering wheel, taking deep breaths and gathering any composure she could find before stepping from the vehicle. A minute later she finally did exit and set nervous eyes on the diva.

"Santana…" Rachel trailed off.

"What?" Santana snapped. She set her eyes on Rachel and they softened immediately and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Rach. I just...I'm really freaked out."

"Just take it minute by minute," Rachel suggested. "If it gets to be too much go to the choir room. It's usually quiet and Mr. Schue will leave you alone. It's always a safe place to go. And you can call me whenever you need to."

Santana realized she was right and nodded, grateful for the girl standing before her. "Okay."

"And we have three classes together," Rachel reminded her.

Santana nodded at that, some of her composure returning. "Minute by minute," she breathed, exhaling a shaky breath. She finally nodded. "Let's go."

**XX**

"Where's your unifor-" Quinn started until she got a good look at Santana's face, her eyes going wide and jaw dropping. "Oh my God."

"Shut it, Q," Santana growled as she stalked past Quinn and headed for her locker.

"What the hell happened to you?" the blonde wondered as she leaned against the locker next to her friend's.

Santana hesitated. She opened her mouth to most likely spill her guts about everything that had gone on at the party but they were interrupted by Brittany bounding up to them happily.

"Hi, guys!" she greeted cheerfully.

Santana smiled at the other blonde before shooting Quinn a warning look. "Hey, Britt."

"So how was Rachel's the other night?" Brittany asked. "Are you guys friends now? I like Rachel and I think we should be nicer to her."

"Rachel Berry?" Quinn asked, her brow creasing in confusion.

"I was too drunk to drive home from the party," Santana explained quickly. She turned to Brittany. "You're right, B. We should be nicer to Rachel. Starting today, okay?"

"Okay!" Brittany exclaimed, pressing a kiss to Santana's cheek and waving at them both before bounding off down the hall. What she missed in her retreat, however, was the panic that settled over Santana's features at the proximity of anything to her face and the sudden movements Brittany had made so close to her.

Quinn frowned at her friend's reaction and the way the brunette was pressed with her back against the lockers looking shaken, one hand over her chest.

Santana watched Brittany go for a moment before turning back to Quinn, who was watching her carefully. "What?"

Quinn decided she could play her next move one of two ways. Instead of asking the question burning her brain she instead asked, "You want to be nice to Rachel now?"

Santana shrugged, relaxing slightly when Quinn wasn't pushing the other issue. "I was hammered and she took good care of me. I kind of owe her."

At that moment Puck passed by them and he gave Santana a concerned look, pointing to her with one hand and his own eye with the other, wondering silently what happened to hers. She forced her face into a smirk and held her fists up. He grinned proudly and tilted his chin up before continuing his stride down the hall.

"You got in a fight?" Quinn sighed with a roll of her eyes after witnessing the silent conversation. Though something about it seemed strange. Santana was a weepy drunk, not an angry drunk. It didn't make any sense. "Coach is going to kill you. Who were you fighting with?"

Santana kept her eyes averted, knowing it was easy to lie to Puck, he didn't know her as well as the blonde before her did. She knew with one good look Quinn would call her out on the outright lie.

Quinn studied her for a moment longer, shaking her head when she realized Santana hadn't really been in a fight. That sent her back to her original theory. "So are you going to tell me who did that to you so I can kill them?"

"Who did what to me?" Santana asked, pointedly ignoring the blonde's eyes as she threw her walls right back up.

"Are you seriously trying to act like I can't see your eyebrow or the black eye or the split lip?" Quinn asked. "Coach is going to kill you unless you tell me who did this so I can kill them. Was it Berry?"

"No!" Santana exclaimed quickly. She glanced up and down the hallway for a moment. "Listen, Rachel told me you took care of Britt the other night."

"She passed out upstairs and Rachel let me know," Quinn explained. "I took her to mine and she slept it off."

"Thanks," Santana replied softly. "For taking care of her. It should have been me." Guilt washed over her in that moment, realizing if she hadn't been so damn drunk she would have been able to take care of herself and Brittany at the party. She shuddered at the thought of what could have happened to her best friend if Rachel hadn't found her.

Quinn nodded, her eyes troubled as she watched the myriad of emotions wash over her friend's face. "Are you sure you won't tell me what happened?" Santana averted her eyes and shook her head. "Then I hope you're ready for Coach's wrath."

"I can handle it," Santana dismissed with a wave of her hand.

Quinn placed a gentle hand on Santana's arm, frowning when Santana flinched at the contact. "You know I'm here." And with that she turned in the opposite direction and headed straight for the choir room where she knew Rachel would be.

"What the hell happened?" Quinn demanded as she entered the room, scaring the diva and causing her to jump.

"Quinn, good morning to you too," Rachel huffed as she got her breathing under control.

"What happened to Santana?" Quinn questioned again.

Rachel squared her shoulders and tilted her chin up rather defiantly. "I'm not at liberty to say." Quinn took a menacing step towards her, the cheerleader's face darkening. Rachel held her hands up and backed up a step. "And also, I have no idea. She wouldn't tell me."

"But she stayed at your house the night of the party?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "I found her sitting outside and she asked me to find Brittany. That's when I noticed Brittany upstairs asleep and found you to tell you about her."

"Why didn't you tell me about Santana?" Quinn wondered.

Rachel shrugged. "I figured that it would be too much for you to have to take care of both of them, so I thought perhaps the divide and conquer method would be most effective given the circumstances. Plus Brittany's situation seemed to require immediate attention."

"You should have told me," Quinn told her, her anger evaporating slightly. She sighed heavily. "She should have told me."

"I'm not sure she would have told anyone had I not stumbled upon her outside," Rachel admitted softly.

"You're right about that," Quinn sighed. "Tell me what you know."

Rachel looked uncomfortable again. "I can't."

Quinn's eyes narrowed and she stepped towards the diva again. "Excuse me?"

Rachel backed up a step again, her fear returning. "Santana made me promise not to breathe a word about anything to anyone."

"Since when is Santana telling you what to do?" Quinn asked.

"Since I asked her not to breathe a word to anyone about anything," a voice broke in behind Quinn making Rachel sigh in relief.

Quinn turned and faced Santana. "Tell me what happened."

"No." Santana moved further into the room and stood next to Rachel, facing Quinn. The blonde tried to ignore where she'd positioned herself. It always seemed as though the two of them were on opposite sides of things. "Why can't you mind your own damn business? And leave Rachel the hell out of this from now on."

Quinn realized her current method wasn't working so she instantly softened. "San, please. You're my best friend and someone obviously hurt you. Just tell me what happened so I can make it right."

"Make it right?" Santana suddenly choked out, her eyes welling with tears. "Kicking the crap out of the person that did this won't make it right. Nothing will ever make this right."

With that she stormed from the room leaving two bewildered girls in her wake. They exchanged a glance and Quinn sighed. "I won't ask what she's said, but is she talking to you about this?"

Rachel shook her head. "Not so much."

"But she's keeping you close?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "For now."

Quinn nodded at that. "Take care of her. Please." She was quiet for a moment before she headed for the door. She paused just before she reached it and turned. "I'm sorry if I scared you. She's my best friend."

"I understand you care a lot about her," Rachel replied with a nod. "I'll take good care of her. I promise."

Quinn held the diva's gaze for a long moment before nodding. "Thank you."

**XX**

"Lopez! My office now!"

Santana sighed, her eyes closing as a sense of dread filled her from top to toes. She had been avoiding any and all places she might run into Sue all morning but apparently word of her injuries and lack of uniform had gotten back to her anyways.

She turned on her heel and made her way to Sue's office where she closed the door behind her and took seat. Sue had her back to her so she couldn't read the woman's expression to see how much trouble she was in.

"Tell me what happened," Sue requested softly, turning to face her. Santana was shocked to see that the other woman wasn't furious but looked concerned.

Santana shook her head. "It's nothing, Coach."

"Don't give me that," Sue sighed. "If you sneeze too hard your face is going to split open and you'll suddenly resemble Carrie at the prom so I can at least commend you for opting to leave your uniform at home to keep it from the carnage that is your face this morning." She paused. "Tell me what happened."

Santana had two options at this point. The truth or a lie. It was really a simple decision. "I got into a fight with some Carmel bitch at a party this weekend. She called us a bunch of sluts and said we stole our routines to win Nationals last year."

Sue's face suddenly darkened and she slapped her desk with both palms, making Santana jump in her seat. "That was never proven!" She muttered something under her breath before setting her gaze on the teen once again. "No fighting while you're on my squad. I need those faces fresh and without significant swelling and bruising. Get me?"

Santana nodded.

Sue softened just a little. "Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"

Santana swallowed hard, her chin quivering just enough. She's passed on the uniform because there were obvious bruises on her inner thighs that she couldn't cover up as easily as the bruises on her face and she knew those would have given her away in a second. "I can't wear that uniform while I look like this. I have too much respect for the squad."

Sue studied her carefully, her eyes narrowing and finally she tilted her chin up in a short, subtle nod. "Fine. You have a pass until you're healed. No practice, no games. Get rest and take care of yourself."

"Coach-" Santana started to protest, only to be halted by a hand being held up.

"You're still on the squad," Sue assured her. "Just take care of yourself."

"Thanks, Coach," Santana breathed, obviously relieved.

"Now get the hell out of my office," Sue told her.

Santana nodded and stood up slowly, moving carefully, trying desperately not to jar anything that would make her wince or cry, knowing Sue was watching her every move.

She heaved a sigh of relief when she exited the office, leaning with her back against the wall and she closed her eyes for a moment before leaning her head back.

The sound of a body slamming against a locker not too far away caused her head to jerk and her eyes to open, her gaze sweeping the hall and landing on a group of hulking jocks walking the hall and slamming smaller, unsuspecting freshmen into lockers as they went.

She stood frozen in place as they walked past her, leering grins all set on her as they walked past, whispers reaching her ears calling her a slut and other horrible names. She felt tears well in her eyes as she watched him, surrounded by his buddies, high-fiveing several of them as their laughter echoed down the hall around her.

A soft hand on her arm shook her from her thoughts, making her jump again. She glanced up and found a pair of hazel eyes watching her carefully. Her eyes flickered to the boys once more and she found a dark glare greeting her from one particular face before he rounded the corner.

Quinn watched her for a moment before following her line of sight to the jocks just disappearing down the hall and she set her gaze on Santana once again, a frown creasing the corners of her mouth.

"How bad was it?"

A moment of sheer panic settled over Santana at the question, wondering how the hell Quinn had found out what had happened at the party. "What?"

"Sue," Quinn clarified.

Santana shook her head, relief flooding her in that instant. She pushed off the wall and headed to her next class, which she shared with Quinn. "All things considered, I got off lucky."

"What happened?" Quinn asked as they walked.

"No practice or games until I've healed," Santana replied with a shrug.

"But you're still on the squad, right?" Quinn asked, stopping completely, concern in her eyes.

Santana nodded, a smirk on her lips. "You sounded worried there, Q."

Quinn rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "You know I can't do this without you."

"Yeah yeah," Santana mumbled as they continued down the hall. "Princess needs her bull dog."

"More like her best friend," Quinn corrected as she squeezed Santana's arm gently. "Santana…tell me what happened. Please let me in."

"No," Santana replied instantly.

"Why not?" Quinn asked, her voice taking on an annoyed edge. "Why won't you tell me?"

Santana stopped walking, her eyes turning cold in an instant, the easy banter between them forgotten. "I'm going to tell you this once, Quinn. Leave it the hell alone. Don't bring it up again or you'll lose your bull dog and your best friend."

With that she stalked off down the hall without glancing back.

**XX**

A.N. Thanks for reading. Hopefully the next part will be up soon.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time fourth period rolled around Santana was wishing she'd stayed home.

It wasn't the stares that bothered her. She was used to people staring at her. She was rich and gorgeous and popular and being a cheerleader didn't hurt either. So she was used to people staring at her because they either wanted to sleep with her or be her.

It came with the territory.

But on that particular day, showing up to school sans uniform, with a split lip and eyebrow and a carefully hidden (but totally noticeable) black eye, Santana wished that no one knew she existed.

She'd heard the whispers the moment she set foot on school grounds. Part of that was because she had walked in next to Rachel Berry and to see that in real life was a bit much for a lot of people to handle.

Then people got a good look at her face and the real whispers began. The wondered if her parents had gotten violent or perhaps a boyfriend that no one knew about yet. Maybe she got into another fight with Quinn since she wasn't wearing her uniform. No one was sure.

And it made for some hellish gossip. And the whispered gossip? _That_ was the part that bothered her.

Santana found Quinn by her side between classes. The blonde stayed quiet, and between the two of them they were able to glare at enough people that at least the rumors of a fight between the two of them could be ruled out.

But, unfortunately, that left a whole hell of a lot of other options to consider.

She had been trying desperately all morning to return to her true form. To be the bitch second in command that she'd always been. The one who threw slushies and teased underclassmen for being completely clueless about what they wore to school. But after what she'd endured over the weekend she couldn't stomach the thought of behaving cruelly to anyone.

She'd spent most of the morning in what felt like a total haze. She felt like her life was suddenly one of those allergy commercials. Like she was walking around with a thin sheen of grey covering her life, not quite clear.

The part that really wasn't surprising was that it felt like the haze lifted just a little whenever Rachel was around. Whether she would pass by the cheerleader's class just to wave and smile or if she would join Santana and Quinn in the hall between classes. It was like someone peeled away the film and just like in the commercial things were lighter and brighter and even kind of colorful again.

Santana ducked into the choir room before lunch and found Rachel there sitting at the piano, tinkering away randomly looking rather far away. She couldn't help but notice the way the knot of tension in her chest released just a little in the presence of the diva.

"Hey, Broadway," she greeted softly.

Rachel glanced up, smiling softly. "How are you feeling?"

Santana shrugged. "I'm thinking about ditching the rest of the day and heading home. I can't take the looks and the whispers. I'm getting a migraine."

Rachel was on her feet in an instant, wrapping one gentle hand around the taller girl's wrist and leaning in close to her. "Are you sure the head injury isn't what's causing the migraine? Maybe we should get you to a doctor." She leaned in close to the taller girl to get a look at her eyes. "Your pupils look alri-"

"Rachel!" Santana interrupted, smiling just a bit. "It was a metaphorical migraine. I promise. I just have to get the hell out of here."

Rachel considered this for a moment and squirmed. "I would offer to join you but the idea of skipping school makes me rather nervous."

Santana shook her head. "It's cool." She had sort of been hoping that Rachel would join her at the house because the idea of spending too much time alone didn't really sit all that well with her, but she understood.

Rachel turned and fished through her bag. "Here, take my spare key."

"Why do you carry a spare?" Santana wondered. Only Rachel Berry.

"Sometimes my keys get flushed down the toilet when Cheerios or jocks are feeling particularly grumpy."

Santana sighed angrily, cursing herself and her teammates and the jocks. She hated the whole stupid thing sometimes. "No more of that, Rachel. I promise."

Rachel smiled that thousand-watt smile in that instant and for some reason Santana found that it made her heart feel a little lighter. Like as long as she had the little diva on her side things might actually work out. "I'll walk you to your car."

**XX**

Santana eased the door shut and locked it, double-checking that the deadbolt was secure, before she trudged up the steps to Rachel's room. She dropped her bag and coat near the door and began to strip out of her uniform, dropping in unceremoniously next to the other items on the floor before she rifled through her bag to find something comfortable to wear.

Once she was changed she moved to the bathroom to remove her contacts. Crying had never really been easy on her eyes and her contacts were stinging so she needed some relief. She slipped her dark framed glasses on once the contacts were out and she moved back into the bedroom.

She stood there for a few long moments trying to decide what to do with herself. She was exhausted but knew sleep was out of the question, especially since she was alone in the house. She sighed knowing not much would be on TV at this time of day and she was beginning to think her idea of leaving school wasn't the best until her eyes landed on her laptop.

Rachel entered her house later that afternoon and found it completely silent. She knew Santana was there because her car was parked in the same spot it had been all weekend, but when she walked through the door she was met by a stillness that didn't seem normal.

"Santana?" she called out into the house, hoping for some sort of response.

When she received none she set her bag and coat on the rack next to the door and made her way upstairs to her bedroom. What she found there was rather surprising.

Santana was lying on her stomach across Rachel's bed facing away from the door. She had a pair of white headphones on and was staring at her computer screen, her head bobbing just slightly to a beat only she could hear.

Rachel didn't want to scare the other girl so she did the only thing she could think of. She slid her phone from her pocket and sent Santana a text, noting Santana's phone was on the bed next to the computer, clearly in her line of sight.

_I didn't want to startle you, but I'm home and I'm in the hall._

_-Rachel_

She watched silently until she heard Santana's ringtone begin to blare and the vibrations were enough to catch the Latina's attention. She slid her phone open and a moment later she turned on her elbow, her left hand sliding the headphones back onto her neck.

"Clever," Santana mused, her mouth sliding into a smirk.

Rachel shrugged, unable to ignore the way her heart skipped in her chest at the sight of Santana wearing glasses lying across her bed with her headphones around her neck. Something about it was beyond adorable. "I didn't want to scare you." She leaned against the doorframe. "What are you listening to?"

Santana shook her head, clearly embarrassed. "It's nothing really. I was just working on some music."

Rachel visibly perked up at this. "What do you mean?"

Santana scooted over on the bed and patted the spot next to her, smiling when Rachel sat down next to her and leaned over just a little, resting her right arm on the other side of the cheerleader's body. "Garageband." Rachel remained silent so Santana continued. "You can record music using loops or create your own. It's all kinds of sweet. Plus you can record vocals on top of the songs you create."

"How is it that I had no idea this existed?" Rachel wondered.

"You're a PC girl," Santana reminded her with a teasing smile. "I think it comes with the territory."

"Can I listen?" Rachel asked, pointing to the song on the screen.

Santana considered this for a moment before removing the headphones and handing them over. "It doesn't have vocals yet and it's still a work in progress."

Rachel shot her a completely disarming smile in that instant as she slid the headphones on and Santana bit her lip for a moment before hitting a button and letting her little masterpiece be heard by someone else for the first time.

She watched, fascinated, as just a hint of a smile appeared on Rachel's lips. Then her eyes closed. Then a funny thing happened. Rachel began to hum a melody over the music she was listening to.

Santana listened carefully to the humming, excited and entranced by what she was hearing. She'd always been good with composing the music, but never the vocals and to hear Rachel immediately coming up with a melody to suit her song had her spirits lifted higher than they had been in days.

A minute later when the song ended Rachel slipped the headphones back off her ears so they rested on her neck and she grinned. "I love it."

Santana smiled rather bashfully. "It sounded like you heard a vocal melody."

"You selected a key in my vocal sweet spot," Rachel replied, her eyes shining mirthfully.

Santana laughed a little at that. "Any lyric ideas?"

"Possibly," Rachel responded, obviously surprised that Santana was considering sharing part of the song with her.

"I've never been that good with the words," Santana explained with a shrug. She pushed the computer father away from her and crossed her arms in front of her on the bed, dropping her head to her arms and yawning.

"Tired?" Rachel asked. She glanced down, noticing that her arm was still propped up on the opposite side of the cheerleader sprawled across her bed next to her. Something about their closeness suddenly caused a warmth to spread in her chest and she suddenly realized how strange it was for the two of them to be so close after only a few days.

"Long day," Santana answered simply, her eyes closing.

Rachel leaned back slightly, removing the weight from the arm that had been leaning over Santana and she lowered a tentative hand to the other girl's back, tracing imaginary patterns there with the tips of her fingers.

Santana sighed contently at the gentle touch. She felt herself fully relax for the first time since she'd woken up that morning and she could practically feel the tension in her body melting away with each stroke of Rachel's fingers.

"How was glee?" Santana asked softly.

"Everyone was asking about you," Rachel replied, her tone quiet, her eyes focused on her fingers.

"What did you say?" Santana asked.

"That you weren't feeling well and went home," Rachel told her. "Brittany said she would call you after Cheerios. Quinn too."

"Something you're not saying," Santana noted softly, sleep edging into her voice, causing her to clip her sentences.

"It's nothing,' Rachel dismissed.

"Tell me," Santana insisted, lulling further into relaxation with every moment that passed.

Rachel sighed, chewing on her bottom lip absently. "Finn. He's still mad that I left him at the party and then ignored him all weekend."

"Does he know I'm here?" Santana asked.

"He knows someone was here all weekend," Rachel replied. "I'm not sure he realized it was your car in the driveway."

"He drove by your house?" Santana asked, suddenly much more awake.

"He wanted to make sure I was okay," Rachel assured her quickly. "He watches too many horror movies and managed to convince himself that I'd been kidnapped and was giving him vague answers because my kidnappers were watching."

"Please tell me you're joking," Santana said as she leaned back up on her elbows, causing Rachel to pull her hand away, much to the disappointment of both girls.

Rachel shook her head as she removed the headphones from her neck. "Are you hungry?"

Santana shook her head slowly, but even as she did her stomach growled loudly. She smirked a little as she glanced down at her stomach. "Maybe a little."

**XX**

An hour later the girls were fed and lounging on the couch when the doorbell rang. Rachel sprang up and moved through the room towards the door. Santana didn't think much of it until a commercial came on and Rachel still hadn't returned from the front hall.

She hit the mute button on the TV and focused on the soft voices coming from the hall, standing to move across the room. She frowned when she realized the other voice to be Finn's and he seemed to be rather upset.

She rolled her eyes when she heard him suddenly accuse Rachel of cheating on him and that's when she decided to make her presence known. She stepped into the doorway behind Rachel, smirking a little when Finn's face fell for an instant before shifting into an accusatory glare.

"What are you doing here?" he grumbled.

"It's my car in the driveway," she explained. "The same one that's been here all weekend. Look, watch." She lifted her arm with her keys and clicked a few buttons until the remote start caused the car to rumble smoothly to life. She pressed another button and it stopped. "She's not cheating on you."

"Mind your own business, Santana," Finn spat.

"It becomes my business when you accuse my friend of cheating on you with some mystery person that ends up being me," she shot back with a glare of her own.

"What are you doing here anyways?" he asked again. "You guys, like, hate each other."

"Obviously," Santana deadpanned.

His eyes narrowed and anger began to swell in his chest and before he could stop himself he took a step towards her, leaning over her, his fists clenched at his sides until he slammed one into the door, causing it to hit the wall behind it with a loud bang.

Santana felt the shift in the air and panic overtook her before she could even take a breath. She scrambled backwards, stumbling over her feet and landing on her backside in the hall behind Rachel, who spun instantly towards her and kneeled down beside her.

"Santana," Rachel breathed. "You're okay." The other girl refused to meet her gaze. "Santana, look at me." Dark eyes finally met hers and the embarrassment and shame made Rachel's heart ache horribly. "Just breathe."

She suddenly set fiery eyes on Finn, glaring for all she was worth and Finn actually gulped and backed up a step. He was huge, but she was terrifying when she was angry.

And she was pissed.

"Get out," she ordered in no uncertain terms.

"Rachel," he whined, not at all understanding what was going on.

Rachel leaned in close to Santana, whispering something to her softly, one hand on her knee and the other on her back. Santana nodded once and Rachel stood up, stalking towards him and shoving him several times back out the door, closing it behind her as they both stood on the porch.

"You need to leave," she told him angrily, pointing towards his car in the driveway. "Right now."

"What was that back there?" he wondered, his anger disappearing and being replaced by utter confusion.

"None of your business," Rachel replied harshly. "I cannot believe you of all people would use your size to intimidate someone so much smaller than you. I thought you were different."

"What?" Finn asked, totally bewildered. "That's not what happened!"

"That's exactly what happened!" Rachel exclaimed. "You didn't like what Santana was saying so you decided to try to intimidate her! I saw the look on your face. That's exactly what you were doing."

Finn paused, blinking rapidly as he tried to put all the pieces together. "Rachel…what's going on? You're blowing me off for someone who's horrible to you. You're defending her."

"You need to leave," Rachel told him softly. "Please."

He gazed at her pleading face and finally nodded, knowing he would never get through to her when she was obviously feeling stubborn. "Okay. Can I call you later so we can talk?"

"Of course," Rachel nodded and headed for the door. She found Santana picking herself up off the floor and moved to her side. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Santana mumbled with a nod, clearly embarrassed. "Tell that oaf of yours that if he steps at me again I'll turn his ass inside out."

"Let me help you," Rachel requested softly.

Santana opened her mouth, prepared to throttle Rachel, because she was totally embarrassed for tripping over herself like an idiot and Santana Lopez did not respond well to that sort of thing. But a slender arm wrapped around her gently in that moment and guided her back towards the couch and she simply sighed. "I'm fine."

"Sit," Rachel ordered gently. Once she was sure Santana would stay put she disappeared into the kitchen for a moment only to return with her star glass that Shelby had given her, filled with water, and she handed it over. "Here. Whenever I'm upset it helps to sip some water."

Santana took the cup, rolling her eyes at the gold star. "You and the stars."

"Actually it was a gift," Rachel explained. She hesitated for a moment. "From Shelby."

"Your mom Shelby?" Santana asked.

Rachel nodded. "She said gold stars were kind of her thing." She sighed, a wistful smile quirking the corners of her lips.

"It sucks," Santana mumbled, frowning when she saw Rachel's eyes sadden. "That she played you like she did."

"I appreciate knowing more in regards to where I came from, but it makes me even happier that my dads are who they are," Rachel replied with a shrug.

Suddenly Santana's phone chirped and she read a few text messages with a sigh.

_Where are you? I miss you : (_

_Xoxo-B_

_Sext me l8r if u wna hk up_

_-Puck_

_Please talk to me…_

_Q_

"Is everything alright?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana nodded absently, staring at the text from Brittany. She let her thumbs linger over the small keypad on her phone before typing back a quick response.

_Miss you too, Britt Britt._

_Xoxo-S_

She hated the part of herself that refused to give away her location, knowing that if she did her blonde best friend would invite herself over. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with Brittany. More that she couldn't stand to be around anyone that touched her the way Brittany did.

Before it could chirp back any sort of response to her text, Santana shut off her phone, staring at it for a long moment. She tossed it to the couch next to her and dropped her head to her hands.

The couch dipped next to her and there was suddenly a comfortable warmth settled into her left side and an arm wrapping around her.

"Can I get you anything?" Rachel questioned softly.

"Some aspirin?" Santana requested.

There was a light squeeze to her shoulder before the couch gave way again and Rachel breezed past her to get to the kitchen. She didn't bother to wonder why she suddenly didn't seem to mind Rachel touching her and was actively avoiding Brittany _because_ the blonde would most likely have her hands all over her.

Rachel returned a minute later and handed over the meds and as Santana took them she got a movie started and settled back into the couch at Santana's side, though with much more space than there had just been a minute ago.

Santana set the water on the table beside her and curled up to watch whatever movie the girl beside her had put on and before she could stop herself she was on her side with her head in Rachel's lap.

Santana felt the other girl stiffen slightly and she began to contemplate moving until a moment later fingers began to run through her hair. She felt her body slacken and the tension from the day and the weird showdown with Finn seeping from her body, lulling her closer to some much needed sleep.

Rachel huffed a sigh when her phone buzzed and she read a text from Finn a few minutes into the movie and it startled Santana enough to wake her.

"Do I need to kick someone's ass?" Santana pondered sleepily.

Rachel smiled at the comment and found herself intrigued by something suddenly. "Does this mean you would kick someone's ass if I needed you to?"

Santana yawned suddenly. "I've got your back, Rach."

Rachel felt strangely honored in that moment to know Santana was in her corner. Not only was she one of the most popular girls in school, she was the most feared and Rachel suddenly felt a strange sense of calm wash over her at that thought. To know Santana had her back made her feel infinitely better about facing the day at school.

"Finn?" Santana wondered, getting back to the text.

"Apologizing," Rachel muttered as she typed back a response. "To me and to you."

"He can kiss it," Santana grumbled.

"Agreed," Rachel replied with a smile before tossing her phone to side and resuming her motions through Santana's hair.

Santana relaxed once again and it wasn't long before the gentle motion of a hand through her hair had her fast asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel entered school the next day alone and exhausted. It had been a particularly rough night in the Berry household. Just when Rachel was beginning to think that maybe things with Santana were getting a little better she'd been awoken by a horrible scream in the middle of the night and had nearly gotten herself a black eye waking Santana up.

Needless to say neither girl got much sleep after that.

She had tried to convince Santana to come with her to school, but the cheerleader refused, saying only that she might drop by near the end of the day to at least make an appearance for glee.

Rachel was rather shocked to find Quinn, Brittany and Puck waiting for her at her locker, all of them looking rather crestfallen when she appeared alone. That didn't prevent any of them from bombarding her with questions though.

"Where is she?"

"Is she coming in today?"

"How is she feeling?"

"Can you please tell us what's going on?"

"You look terrible."

Rachel shot an annoyed glance at Brittany at the last comment, earning a soft 'sorry' in response. She sighed and twirled the lock on her locker until it popped open. "She isn't coming in today. She wasn't feeling well, but she's no worse than she was yesterday."

"Rachel, tell us what really happened," Quinn requested softly. "Please."

Rachel faced them all and they all set her with expectant looks. "Honestly I don't know any more than you do."

"She's been staying with you," Quinn pointed out. "I have a hard time believing that."

"She's been staying with you?" Brittany asked, a wounded look in her eye. "Like every night?" She thought back to the night before when Santana refused to tell her where she was.

"Why?" Puck asked. "You two, like, can't stand each other."

"Not true," Rachel replied with a roll of her eyes as she turned to grab her books.

"I'm sure there's an explanation," Quinn told Brittany, noticing the other girl's face looking confused and hurt. She then turned to Rachel expectantly, wanting said explanation.

Rachel sighed and pulled the three of them into the empty choir room and closed the door behind them. "While it is true that Santana and I never really got along very well before, that has changed and she and I have forged a friendship that is still in the very early stages. Truth be told she hasn't told me much more than she's told any of you. But for some reason she is trusting me in this time of pain and vulnerability so I'm just doing what any person would do for their team mate."

Quinn blinked a few times, her expression softening slightly. "Rachel, just tell me if you think she's okay. She insists that she is, but…"

"I don't think she is, honestly," Rachel replied after a long moment of silent debate.

"So what do we do?" Puck asked, his voice rough with emotion suddenly.

"Nothing," Quinn replied suddenly. "The three of us know Santana better than anyone else and we know that if you push her she blows up and closes herself off. We need to give her time and space."

"She said she might stop by for glee," Rachel told them all. "I have to get to class." With that she marched from the room, only stopping when Quinn called her name. Rachel turned and watched Puck and Brittany exit through the other doors and Quinn waited until they were gone to continue.

"I'm really not trying to be a bitch, but you do kind of look terrible today," Quinn told her softly. "Is everything okay?"

Rachel sighed. "It was sort of a bad night last night. She has nightmares."

Quinn processed this information, her eyes narrowing slightly. "The kind of nightmares that would wake you up from the guestroom?"

Rachel knew immediately what the other girl was implying. "She doesn't want to sleep alone." She was expecting some sort of explosion from the girl before her. Some kind of homophobic rant about corrupting her friend, or about keeping her 'man hands' to herself. Something horrible and derogatory.

But instead it was quiet for a moment.

"Do you think she'll really show up this afternoon?" And that was all Quinn said on the subject.

Rachel was totally floored. She had expected so much worse. Blinking, she nodded. "I think she misses everyone." She watched Quinn's face soften at her words and it made her smile. "You really care about her, don't you?"

Quinn pulled out her phone and began to text someone, keeping her eyes on the small screen as she spoke. "She's my best friend."

"She's lucky," Rachel mumbled softly as she turned to leave. "You both are."

"I know," Quinn whispered to herself as she finished off her text to Santana.

_I'm here and I miss you. Hope you come in later._

_Q_

**XX**

Rachel texted Santana before her last class for the day started, asking if the other girl was going to make it to glee and she was surprised to find that the answer was yes. She flew down the halls after class to get to the choir room before anyone else.

She needed to talk to Mr. Shue.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she found the choir room empty and her teacher in his office.

"Hi, Mr. Shue," she said with a smile as she entered the office.

"Hi, Rachel," he greeted. He was used to her being the first one to the room, but he noticed she seemed to have something on her mind besides her usual list of requested solos. "What can I do for you?"

Rachel sat down across from him once the door was closed. "As you know, Santana was absent from rehearsal yesterday. I'm not sure if you have heard any rumors about what happened to her."

"Is she alright?" he asked. He had heard some of the whispered gossip, but had put it all down as just that. Gossip. To think that there might be some truth to it had him worried.

Rachel swallowed hard. "She has some injuries and I know she would appreciate it if you didn't make a big deal out of them."

"Rachel, what's going on?" he asked. "Do I need to call her parents or Principal Figgins?"

"No!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. She shook her head. "Santana has confided in me and I won't betray her trust. If she wants to confide in you, or anyone else for that matter, that's her decision. I just wanted you to be aware of the circumstances."

"Rachel-,"

But she was up and out the door before he could finish his question. He followed her from the office, but the rest of the club was filing in and there was no sight of Santana.

He watched as Rachel made her way to Puck's side and whispered something in his ear before the two of them slowly moved around the room speaking to everyone. He assumed they were giving everyone else the same advice Rachel had just given him a moment ago.

**XX**

Santana had been standing outside the school leaned against her car for the better part of an hour. After Rachel had texted her she had gotten herself together and headed out the door to drive to school.

She knew of all her classes that glee was the one that she had the least to worry about. Rachel would be there, so would Britt and Quinn and Puck. She had no reason to fear the four walls that had slowly come to be one of her favorite places.

But the moment she pulled up on school grounds, the sight of letter jackets had her stomach in knots all over again and she felt a wave of panic wash over her. It was all she could do to get out of her car, leaning against it in what she hoped was a nonchalant manner as she stared at the building.

"One foot in front of the other," she told herself quietly.

She closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself before she pushed off the car and headed towards the doors that would take her the shortest distance to the choir room. Just as she reached the doors, they burst open from the other side, scaring her and causing her to jump back.

Grins spread on several of the faces that suddenly towered over her and surrounded her.

"Hey, slut," one jeered, leaning in close.

"Giving head in the senior lot again, Lopez?" another asked with a laugh, earning himself a high-five.

Her jaw clenched painfully as she willed herself not to cry or flee or faint. She narrowed her eyes, tilted her chin up and pushed through their hulking frames to reach the door, only to come face to face with the boy she'd been seeing in her dreams for days.

He grinned down at her when he realized who was standing in front of him. "Lopez, weird I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on and not on your knees."

Laughter howled around her mixed with horrible, derogatory names and suddenly she felt the tears that had been threatening to spill since she'd caught sight of the first letter jacket on campus.

The sound of his voice, the smell of his cologne, it was too much for her. She closed her eyes against the wave of panic and she knew instantly that it was a mistake to do so because she was thrust back into that night so fast it stole her breath and she could see him silhouetted against the moonlight, and feel his hands as they groped her painfully.

"Please…" she begged, just as she had that night. For him to stop. To let her go. To let the nightmare end.

"Asking for more?" he breathed into her ear, causing her eyes to snap open and a sob to bubble up from her throat.

She pushed past him, thankful that he let her pass and she sprinted towards the choir room, desperately seeking friendly faces and the comfort of one presence above all others.

She was so distraught when she reached the choir room that she burst through the door, causing it to crash back against the wall and the sound mixed with the sight of her standing in the doorway sobbing had everyone stunned into silence.

Even Kurt, who had been in the middle of yet another solo.

"Santana," Rachel breathed as she jumped from her chair and moved to the other girl's side immediately.

She heard chairs scuffing the floor and footsteps behind her, knowing several other members were right on her tail. She didn't hesitate to envelop Santana in her arms, hugging her tightly and whispering comforting words in her ear.

The rest of the glee club watched as Rachel, Quinn, Brittany and Puck stood at the entrance of the room trying to comfort Santana.

Santana crying wasn't exactly something that was a rare sight. They'd all been around her when she'd had too much to drink, but this was something completely different. And mixed with the injuries they'd seen her sporting it had all of them wondering exactly what was going on. And what Rachel Berry suddenly seemed to have to do with any of it.

"What the hell is going on?" Mercedes asked suddenly, breaking the silence. Her eyes found Kurt's at the front of the room, but he simply shrugged. His eyes found Finn, sitting front and center looking like he was fuming about something so he took a seat next to him.

"Finn?" he prodded gently.

The taller boy simply clenched his jaw. "Something weird is going on with Santana. She was at Rachel's house all weekend."

Kurt raised a slim eyebrow and exchanged a look with Mercedes.

Across the room, in the doorway the four teens were trying to get some kind of answer out of Santana.

"Why are you crying, San?" Brittany asked. Tears were pooled in her eyes and her best friend's pain was giving her a stomach ache.

"What happened?" Quinn asked, fire playing behind her expressive hazel eyes. She'd never seen her friend so torn apart and the need for revenge and bloodshed had her hands practically twitching.

"Tell me whose ass I have to kick," Puck ordered. "Now."

Santana whimpered and clutched to Rachel desperately. "Santana, listen to my voice," she murmured softly into the taller girl's temple. "You're safe and you're surrounded by people that care about you. Nothing bad can happen to you now. Just breathe."

Quinn watched them for a moment and grasped Brittany's hand, placing the other hand on Puck's arm. "Let's give her some space. Rachel, why don't you take her to get cleaned up?"

Rachel shot a grateful glance in Quinn's direction and watched as she pulled her two friends back to their seats, squeezing Brittany's hand when the other girl looked like she might cry.

She focused on Santana once again and pulled out of her arms, her heart breaking as she took in the sight of the other girl's crumpled face and tear-streaked cheeks. She grasped Santana's hand lightly and gave it a little tug. "Come on."

Will watched them leave and he found he was completely torn about what to do next. On one hand he wanted to continue class because they certainly needed as much practice as they could get, but on the other hand it was obvious that one of their team members was in some sort of trouble and he felt it needed to be addressed.

"Kurt?" he asked, gaining the boy's attention. "Would you like to continue?"

Kurt looked conflicted himself and he stood up, shaking his head. "Mr. Shue, I think it would be in everyone's best interest if I postponed the rest of that performance. It's obvious that one of our own is in pain and maybe we could come up with something to sing for her if and when she comes back."

"Yeah, Mr. Shue," Mercedes agreed.

"Alright," Will agreed. "Let's look through some sheet music."

**XX**

Rachel waited until they were in the girls' room and it was empty before she locked the door and finally met Santana's eyes, puffy and red from crying.

"What happened?" she asked softly as she wet some paper towels and began to dab Santana's face gently.

Santana remained silent for a long stretch of moments, unsure how to begin. Now that she was standing in a relatively safe space with a very safe person she was beginning to wonder if the situation earlier had been as threatening as she had thought it to be.

She suddenly felt very foolish.

"It's nothing, Rachel," she insisted quietly.

"Don't," Rachel ordered. She waited until impossibly dark eyes met hers and she held the gaze as long as Santana would allow. "Don't minimize your feelings. Something obviously upset you. Tell me what happened."

Santana sighed. "I saw him outside. On my way to the choir room."

Rachel didn't need her to elaborate on who exactly he was. She knew exactly who Santana meant. Well, not his identity, but she knew Santana meant whoever had done awful things to her over the weekend.

"His buddies called me names, it really wasn't a big deal," she finished with another sigh, knowing she sounded so stupid for getting so worked up over a few names they called her.

"Tell me who it is and we can go to Principal Figgins right now and-,"

"No," Santana insisted, turning her back on Rachel and taking in her appearance in the mirror. She scowled when she noticed the light makeup she'd applied to cover the bruising around her eye had washed away and she cursed under her breath and decided she might as well wash it all off.

"Santana…"

"Why do so many people have trouble understanding the word no!" Santana suddenly burst out, slamming her hands on the side of the sink, startling Rachel. She realized what she'd said and her face screwed up and her eyes closed in frustration, only to snap back open as another vision of that night invaded her thoughts.

"I-I'm sorry," Rachel whispered. "Would you like me to go?"

Santana spun around, a haunted look in her eyes. "Please don't."

"Okay," Rachel replied with a nod. "I won't go anywhere."

Santana sighed as relief flooded her, knowing she wouldn't be alone walking the halls either back to the choir room or back to her car. It warmed her heart just a little when Rachel was suddenly at her side, at the sink next to hers. Near enough for her presence to be known but far enough away that she didn't feel closed it.

Like Rachel knew the exact distance perfectly.

Santana washed her face, but remained still in front of the sink, still staring at her reflection. Her eye was beginning to turn a nasty shade of yellow under the blacks and purples and even though the swelling over her eye had subsided, the cut was rather bruised as well. If she went back into those halls everyone that was still in school would see exactly what had happened to her and how vulnerable she was.

And that thought terrified her.

"We'll go the long way back," Rachel told her quietly. "There's always less people that way."

Rachel proved, yet again, that she somehow was in total synch with her.

Santana nodded. "Okay."

"Whenever you're ready."

Santana met her eyes and was rewarded with a charming, encouraging smile that she couldn't help but return. "I'm not really sure what I'd do without you."

"Let's hope we don't have to find out."

Rachel extended her hand and smiled when the other girl's slid into hers. They exited the room and Rachel began to pull her own hand back, knowing Santana would never allow them to hold hands in public, but she was surprised when slender fingers wrapped tighter around hers.

Glee was almost over by the time they returned and Santana was confused instantly when she noticed one single chair at the front of the room and everyone standing around with sheet music.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked before Santana could even open her mouth. Neither girl missed the gasps as they stepped back into the room and everyone was allowed a real look at the injuries Santana had sustained.

Mercedes stepped forward and gave Santana a long, meaningful look and when she spoke her voice wavered slightly and was thick with tears. "We don't know exactly what's going on with you, girl, but we do care. You're not even a little bit alone in whatever's going on in that pretty head of yours."

"We just wanted to sing something so you know we're here," Quinn added with a teary smile for her friend.

"So sit back and enjoy," Puck told her with a wink.

"Rachel, think you can jump in?" Will asked with a smile. "We've only gotten through it once so it's probably a little rough."

"Lucky for you I'm an excellent sight-reader," Rachel replied, absolutely beaming.

Everyone laughed at that and Santana took her seat at the front of the class, her heart aching gloriously in her chest. She'd never been sung to in glee, something she stubbornly refused to get even the slightest bit emotional about, but now that it was happening at a time that she _really_ needed it, she was an absolute mess inside.

In a good way of course.

She watched Rachel as she stepped into line beside Brittany and Quinn and watched her face absolutely light up at the song selection, but she didn't really have time to wonder what it was as familiar notes filled the air and hit her like a ton of bricks.

Surprisingly it was Quinn's voice to reach her first.

_When you try your best but you don't succeed_

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_

_Stuck in reverse_

Mercedes was next.

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

Santana had been holding it together relatively well until that line. She choked back a sob, already feeling the tears spilling over her cheeks.

_When you love something but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

Then Rachel's voice reached her. Puck was singing the lower harmony under her and the two of them sounded amazing together.

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

Santana's eyes locked with Rachel's.

_And I will try to fix you_

She was barely able to hold herself together for the remainder of the performance. It was sweet and charming and the rough edges made it even more endearing to her. She tired to thank them all when they finished, but her grateful tears cut her off.

And somehow that was all the thanks they needed.

**XX**

"You must really like seeing me cry," Santana joked as she slid into Rachel's passenger seat. Her eyes and the tip of her nose were still red from all the crying, but she felt so warm on the inside that she didn't even care.

"How was I to know that 'Fix You' is on your top five best crying songs?" Rachel teased back.

"I think it's on everyone's top five list," Santana replied.

Rachel laughed and pulled out of the lot, Quinn following behind them in Santana's car and Puck following behind Quinn to take her home after.

"So you really liked it?" Rachel asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Santana smiled fondly and nodded. "It was perfect."

"It was rough," Rachel argued.

"It doesn't matter," Santana told her seriously with a shake of her head. "I needed that more than I realized."

"They all care about you," Rachel replied rather intuitively. "_We_ care about you."

Santana shrugged, trying to appear casual and aloof on this particular subject.

Rachel smiled slyly. "I know you act like a bitch to push them all away because you can't stand the idea of a bunch of glee losers rejecting you, but you mean a lot to all of them."

"Some, maybe," Santana mumbled.

"First of all, everyone, and I mean everyone, respects the amount of talent you have. You're one of our best dancers and your vocals have improved ten-fold since last year. They respect you and care about you." She grinned when Santana shrugged again. "Face it, you're one of us."

Santana tried with all her might to simply roll her eyes and retort with something witty and cutting, but a beaming smile cut through it all and that told Rachel all she needed to know.

**XX**

A.N. I decided that Fix You should be for Santana, and Santana alone. If spoilers are to be believed I'm not going to like who actually gets it on Tuesday so I decided to do it my way. Plus it fits our little situation here.

Anyways, thanks for sticking with this one through the hiatus and hopefully I'll get lots more of this one out, but it'll be at least a week before the next update since I'm going to be super busy this week.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. I had to get away from this one for a while, but it's been plaguing me lately, so now I'm back. Hopefully there are still people out there reading this one and to those who are, I appreciate it. It won't be so long between updates…for now at least. ;-)

Enjoy…

**XX**

Santana's next trip to glee was much calmer. She hadn't told anyone she was coming in so it was a bit of a shock for Rachel to find her waiting in the room with Mr. Shue. Rachel noticed that their teacher seemed to be having a few private words with the other girl so she dropped her bag and stayed towards the piano, tinkering a few notes to keep her ears occupied.

Will stood up after a minute and headed for his office, offering Rachel a small smile that she returned before setting her sights on Santana, who looked a little teary but no worse for wear.

"Hi," Rachel greeted with a warm smile. She was rather surprised at how excited she was to see Santana. "I wasn't expecting to see you here today."

Santana shrugged, sniffling and wiping at her eyes. "I know. I was bored."

"You alright?" Rachel asked softly, taking the empty seat next to Santana and nudging her gently with her shoulder.

Santana nodded, sniffling again. "I'm fine." She caught Rachel's skeptical look and smiled a little. "Really. He was just being kind of sweet."

"As long as you're sure," Rachel said softly.

Santana nodded, a sigh escaping her lips. "So I have some bad news."

Immediately Rachel's heart dropped into her stomach and she must have paled because "It's nothing horrible." Santana smiled and shook her head. "Calm down, Broadway. My dad is just going to be home tonight and wants me to stay home rather than at your place."

"I thought they were going to Europe?" Rachel remembered.

Santana nodded, her eyes rolling. "Dad had to stay back for a few days. Some last minute stuff at the hospital. My mom is gone, but he's still here."

"Does he know you've been staying with me?" Rachel wondered.

Santana nodded, her eyes downcast. "He works a lot, but he calls and texts a lot to make sure I'm okay."

Rachel studied the other girl for a moment, noting the crease between her brows, the tight line of her lips and the apprehension clouding her eyes. "You're nervous about it."

Even after only a few days Santana was used to how intuitive Rachel had become about her and so she simply nodded. "The black eye I can cover up. What do I tell him about my eyebrow?"

"You fell in Cheerios," Rachel offered off the top of her head. "Finn accidentally hit you while he was dancing, you slipped in the cafeteria. You have lots of options."

"I hate to lie to him," Santana sighed.

Rachel took her hand, holding it between both hers and leaned her head in close, dipping slightly to meet worried dark eyes. "You don't have to lie. I could even come with you to tell him. You're not alone."

Santana shook her head, her gaze dropping and lingering on their hands. "I'm not ready."

Rachel gave her hand a squeeze. "Whenever you are…."

Santana nodded and bit her lip as she felt her eyes misting slightly. "Thanks, Rachel."

Quinn and Puck entered the room a moment later and Quinn's eyes immediately zeroed in on the two girls' hands, but she said nothing, only taking the empty seat on the other side of Santana.

"Hi," she greeted softly with a smile. She leaned forward enough to smile at Rachel in greeting.

Santana offered a small smile of her own. "Hey, Quinn."

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she slid her arm around the back of Santana's chair.

Santana hesitated for a moment, smiling at the hands squeezing hers. "Better."

Rachel watched as her fellow glee club members trickled into the room alone or in groups and she smiled as she realized every person that came in took the next nearest seat to Santana. Usually there was a seat or two between some of them, but it seemed that they all silently wanted to be as close as they could to her so she was sure to know they were all there for her.

**XX**

Rachel was pacing.

She'd practically been pacing all afternoon, since she and Santana had parted ways after glee club with not much more than a quick hug.

She knew logically that she had nothing to worry about. Santana and her father probably needed time to catch up and have dinner and do whatever it was that they did together, but Rachel hadn't heard from Santana in hours and she was growing more concerned by the minute.

When her phone finally rang she snatched it up and had it pressed to her ear before the first ring even finished. "Hello?"

"Hey, Broadway." She sounded tired.

"Are you alright?"

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone and some rustling. "It was a long dinner."

"But you're okay?" Rachel wondered softly.

"I'm okay," Santana confirmed.

"What did he say about your face?" Aside from Santana's well being this was the thing Rachel had been most concerned about.

"He was kinda pissed I didn't get stitches and said it'll probably scar, but other than that not a whole lot."

"What did you tell him?" Rachel asked softly. Now that she had Santana on the phone she felt like she could relax. She moved around the room changing clothes for bed as she listened to the other girl.

"I told him I fell in Cheerios," Santana replied. "I just hope he doesn't go after Sue for pushing me too hard and find out I haven't really been around this week."

"Do you think…," Rachel trailed off not sure if she wanted to finish that sentence.

"Just say it, Rachel," Santana told her. "I think we're kind of beyond being shy at this point."

"Do you think you'll ever tell him the truth?" Rachel asked.

There was another heavy sigh and a long pause. "I'm not sure it would really matter at this point. There's no proof…forget it."

"Santana-"

"Drop it, Rachel," Santana ordered tightly.

"It's weird, you not being here," Rachel offered after a moment of silence between them. She was changed and slipped into bed.

"Tell me about it," Santana agreed. On her end of the line she was lying across her bed twirling a long strand of hair between her fingers, suddenly strangely wishing it was someone else playing with her hair. "Dad gave me a sleeping pill."

"You told him you haven't been sleeping?" Rachel wondered.

"Are you kidding?" Santana shook her head. "He could tell just by looking at me. My eyes have bags for days and are bloodshot as hell. He's not around much but he knows me."

"Are you going to take it?" Rachel asked.

"Not sure," Santana replied. She sat up and crossed her legs under her, staring at the tiny pill on her nightstand. "I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep much alone."

"Want me to come over?" Rachel asked suddenly.

_Yes! _Santana's mind screamed, but she sighed outwardly. "I'm a big girl, Rachel. I need to be able to be alone sometimes."

"I understand," Rachel sighed, sounding disappointed. "If you change your mind…" She allowed the statement to linger, both girls knowing that Rachel would be over in a heartbeat if Santana needed her there.

They chatted for several minutes about glee and sectionals and this and that until Rachel heard Santana yawn. "I should let you get some sleep."

"Rach…"

"Yeah?"

Santana frowned and grabbed the pill from the nightstand and popped it into her mouth, swallowing with a sip of water. "Can you just stay on until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," Rachel replied softly. "I can sing if you'd like."

"Please," Santana murmured as she burrowed under her blankets and pressed the phone to her ear wishing she was somewhere else, but figuring things could be much worse.

**XX**

Rachel practically flew out her front door the next morning when she saw Santana pull up in her driveway. She yanked the door open and flung herself into the passenger seat with a huff, her eyes trained on the girl sitting behind the wheel. She suddenly paused all movement when she noticed Santana staring at her rather strangely.

"What?"

Santana pretended to look offended. "Morning to you too, Sunshine."

Rachel blinked. "Good morning kind of goes without saying, Santana. Are you alright? I've been worried sick."

Santana actually allowed herself a little smile at that, her heart warming her up from the inside knowing someone actually did care. "It was a rough night, but no big."

Rachel huffed, her bottom lip sliding between her teeth for a moment. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep. My phone disconnected and I tried to call you back but it was busy. I didn't know cell phones could have busy signals."

Santana smirked. "Rachel, it's fine. I'm fine. Relax."

Rachel regarded her carefully for a moment. "You're lying."

Santana sighed, half hating how Rachel had come to know her, half loving it.

Rachel sensed her hesitation and poked her forearm with her finger gently. "Tell me."

"Remember how I told you he gave me a sleeping pill?" she questioned softly, earning a nod in response. "Well it did its job."

Rachel frowned, knowing she was missing something. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah until I couldn't wake myself up," Santana grumbled, rubbing her eyes. She knew she should have felt better about the sleep she got, but it felt empty, like she'd been more unconscious than sleeping. "Fucking nightmares."

Rachel realized then what had happened and she reached across the console and grasped Santana's hands in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Oh no. I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

Santana allowed herself a moment to give in to the suffocating emotions raging through her in that moment and a sob escaped her lips. "I'm just so tired."

Rachel pulled the taller girl into her gently, wrapping her arms around her and holding her tightly. "I know you are, sweetie. Let's just get through the day and you can take a nap after school."

Santana sniffled into her shoulder, nodding. "At your house?"

Rachel smiled, pulling back, cupping Santana's face gently, swiping at her tears carefully with her thumbs. "I'll even stand guard to make sure your nightmares stay away."

Santana huffed a laugh at that, pulling back to wipe away her tears, sliding the rearview mirror down to take a look at her makeup. "Would you think I was a total loser if I told you I missed you last night?"

Rachel was suddenly beaming at this and she shook her head. "Absolutely not. I missed you too." She noticed Santana's hands were shaking. "Would you like me to drive?"

Santana paused and after a silent moment she nodded. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, leaving it idling. Rachel's eyes went wide in that instant when she realized Santana wanted her to drive her car. Her baby.

The click of the passenger door opening startled Rachel and she looked up to find Santana's tired, expectant eyes trained on her. "Are you going to move or not?"

"Perhaps it would be best if I drove my car," Rachel suggested.

"Rach, it's fine," Santana insisted, waving her from the seat so she could collapse into it. Her head rolled back to rest on the headrest and her eyes closed immediately. She cracked an eye open and realized Rachel was still standing by the passenger door. "Rachel, it's just like any other car. It's an automatic and it's no big deal."

"Your car probably cost as much as my house," Rachel admitted softly as she glanced at the sleek sports car.

"Shut up, it did not," Santana told her with a throaty laugh that Rachel found did something to her insides.

Rachel moved around the car and stepped inside, ignoring the snicker when she had to move the seat up quite a bit to reach the pedals. She found the car to be extremely comfortable and in such a small vehicle she found it much easier to see over the dash.

She adjusted the mirrors carefully and finally shifted into reverse, the car barreling backwards with the slightest touch on the accelerator.

"Shit!" Santana cursed when she was jerked from her half-sleeping state.

"I'm sorry!" Rachel screeched, her hands rising off the wheel and her foot slamming on the brake.

Santana sat up properly, knowing if she wanted a ride to school she was going to have to help the other girl get her there. "Rach, just go slow. Easy on both pedals." When the other girl still didn't move she smiled. "Look at me." Dark eyes met hers instantly and she smiled wider. "You can do this. Just take it slow. I promise."

Slowly Rachel's hands moved back to the steering wheel and she took a steadying breath before she gently tapped the accelerator again. There was a slight lurch before things evened out and they got all the way out of the driveway. Rachel shifted into drive and it was much smoother.

"I can see why you like this car so much," Rachel commented quietly a few minutes later. "It drives like a dream."

Santana grinned. "That she does." She closed her eyes again, realizing for the first time in twelve hours she felt relatively sane.

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel wondered softly.

Santana opened her mouth to reply her usual 'nothing', but the word died in her throat. She sighed. "Actually I was thinking about you."

The car swerved slightly and Santana glanced up to find a blush coloring Rachel's cheeks. "Me?"

Santana shrugged. "I just can't figure out why I feel so safe with you. We weren't even friends before any of this, but I trust you more than anyone right now."

Santana's words meant more to Rachel than she could really even process but she knew for Santana to declare something so honest was probably making her very uncomfortable, so she made a joke. "Probably because you know that you can beat me up if I get out of line."

It had the desired effect and Santana was caught so off guard by the joke that she laughed full-on, her head tilting back and her eyes closing.

Rachel was completely captivated by the sound. She'd never heard Santana laugh so openly before. Usually her laughs were the devious kind or the kind brushing off any sort of embarrassment or unease. But this laugh was completely different.

Suddenly there was a warm hand settled on top of Rachel's on the steering wheel and Rachel met dark eyes watching her carefully for a moment. "I'd never beat you up, Rachel."

"Good to know," Rachel replied softly.

**XX**

"How is she?" Quinn asked one morning a few days later, approaching Rachel when she saw the diva enter the school alone. She was tired of being so out of the loop with her best friend and had a theory about Santana, wanting to see if she could get anything out of Rachel about it.

"She's alright." Rachel didn't meet the blonde's eye. It had been another difficult night and she hadn't been getting much sleep and knew Quinn would see it all over her face.

"You shouldn't worry so much, Rachel. She's been through worse. She got into a fight in middle school and she looked worse than she does now.

Rachel squirmed, still not meeting her eyes, but the guilt was evident and Rachel wore it loud and proud like one of her animal sweaters.

Quinn studied her reaction carefully. The diva had practically confirmed her suspicions without saying a word. "You think it's more than just her getting beat up, though, don't you?"

Rachel remained silent.

Quinn's stare bore down on her. "You think something else happened that night."

Rachel met her gaze then, the alarm clear in her eyes. "I didn't say that. Please, Quinn, don't tell her that I said anything about it."

Quinn shook her head and pulled Rachel into an empty classroom across the hall. "This stays between the two of us. I promise." Rachel nodded silently. "Do you think…do you think she was raped?"

Rachel hesitated before nodding, her eyes already tearing up, hating the way her gut twisted at the simple mention of the word that she'd been thinking for weeks and had been too much a coward to say aloud.

Quinn sunk into a nearby chair, her eyes wide and teary as she considered the full implications of what the two of them were discussing. Images suddenly invaded her mind of Santana being attacked in such a horrible way, the way she must have fought, the way she must have cried and screamed.

It made her sick.

"He can't get away with this." Surprisingly it had been Rachel to utter the words, her voice cold and devoid of any emotion.

"If you asked her point-blank would she tell you?" Quinn asked, her voice thick and raspy suddenly.

Rachel shook her head. "I promised I would never ask her what happened."

Quinn actually looked rather offended at that. "You don't think finding out the truth is a bit more important than a promise you made?"

"No," Rachel told her. "Her trust is the most important thing to me right now. If I break that trust by going back on a promise she won't trust me with anything else."

"You're being unreasonable," Quinn argued.

"No I'm not, Quinn," Rachel told her steadily, holding her ground. "Santana won't confide anything else in me if she thinks she can't trust me and nothing to me is worth sacrificing that."

Quinn heaved a sigh and shook her head. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Rachel took a step towards her and placed a hand on her arm. She waited until hazel eyes met hers before continuing. "I know you're worried about her. And I know you're scared, but we just have to be patient. You know Santana better than most people and you know that she won't say a word about anything until she's ready."

Quinn was silent for a few moments until she nodded. "So we wait."

"So we wait," Rachel confirmed with a somber nod.

**XX**

Santana was going through her locker sorting out her books for her next class when she felt hands around her waist and a tall, male body press against her back. She stiffened immediately until she heard a voice in her ear.

"Hey, babe," Puck greeted. "Wanna skip fourth and hit the janitor's closet?"

Santana's eyes squeezed shut, a tear slipping past her lashes as her heart thundered madly in her chest. "Back off, Puck." She sucked in a breath. "Please."

He snorted and grinded his pelvis into her as his hands roamed up and down her sides. "Oh come on, Santana, you've held out on me for, like, weeks."

"Get the hell off me, Puck," she growled as she ducked under his arms and pulled out of his grasp, desperate to put some space between them.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Puck demanded as he followed behind her.

"Nothing," she replied.

"Hey wait a minute!" he called and reached out to grab her arm and spin her around.

A choked sob suddenly made its way from her mouth and she flinched away from his grasp so violently that she literally stumbled backwards into a row of lockers, landing on her ass in the middle of the hallway causing several people around them to look their way.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Noah?" Rachel fumed as she approached from seemingly out of nowhere. She shoved past him and was on her knees in front of Santana in an instant, frowning when the cheerleader flinched away from her. "Santana, it's just me. Look at me." Santana shuddered, her eyes squeezing shut for several moments. "Look at me, Santana."

With one final heaving deep breath Santana opened her eyes and met those mocha eyes she was beginning to love so much and nodded, clearly extremely embarrassed. "I'm okay."

Rachel watched her for a moment longer before turning a fiery gaze to the mohawked boy watching them with a stunned, confused expression. "What is wrong with you? Can you not keep your hands to yourself?"

"What happened?" Quinn asked, joining the group in the hallway, a frown creasing her forehead when she noticed Santana on the floor. She rounded on Puck instantly. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" he insisted quickly, his hands rising in a defensive gesture instantly. "I just asked if she wanted to go fool around. Back off."

Rachel rolled her eyes and turned to help Santana off the floor. She turned back to Puck once more. "Leave her alone, Puck."

Quinn stood with her back to the two girls, her arms extended backwards slightly as if she was protecting them from something and she faced Puck with a fire in her eye. "Keep your damn hands to yourself, Puckerman."

"I didn't even do anything, Quinn," he insisted as he watched over her shoulder as Rachel led Santana away.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "I know you can be an idiot sometimes, but you at least have enough sense to know that something is going on with her. Am I right?" His eyes landed on the floor guiltily and he nodded once. "So why the hell would you even think of hitting on her?"

He shrugged. "I screwed up, okay? I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," Quinn told him before glancing back to see the girls were gone from the hallway before she stalked off in the opposite direction.

**XX**

A.N. Thanks for reading. Please leave your thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

A.N. I know it's been a while. Hopefully this makes up for it…

**XX**

Santana managed to make it through another week. It had still been rather abbreviated school-wise. She would usually either spend the first half or the second half in class, seemingly alternating day by day, still not quite able to make it through the entire day.

She found she was much more fidgety than she had ever been. She couldn't sit still and at times she felt like the walls were closing in on her.

Rachel had been watching Santana carefully whenever possible and it was to the point where she could almost predict one of Santana's moments of panic. The way her eyes would widen for just a moment, the crease of tension that would appear between her eyebrows and the way her fists would clench at her sides.

By the time Friday had rolled around Santana was grateful that it meant two days away from school and the probing eyes of the glee club. She knew they meant well, but it was rather exhausting keeping up the appearance that everything was fine when she felt like she was losing her mind at times.

She and Rachel had settled into a familiar routine by the end of the week and found that they actually got along rather well. They'd only had one real argument and it had been trivial.

"Rachel, he's your boyfriend, you should spend time with him," Santana told her, not meaning one word she said. "Britt's been bugging me to hang out so we'll go to the game together, then split up, then I'll see you at home."

Rachel frowned, hating the idea. "But…"

Santana smiled. "I'll be fine for a few hours without you. Promise."

Rachel knew she was right. She knew she needed to spend time with Finn and she knew Santana needed some time with Brittany. She was just worried about her new friend and wasn't keen about the idea of letting her out of her sight.

"Tell Frankenteen to be on his best behavior or I'll kick his ass," Santana told her with a wink. And just like that the conversation was over.

On Friday night Santana sat in the passenger seat of Brittany's car wringing her hands as they drove to the blonde's house. The smoldering looks Brittany had been shooting her all night at the game left very little to the imagination as far as what she had in mind for the remainder of the night and it had Santana visibly nervous.

"_You don't have to go," Rachel had told her, a concerned frown on her lips._

"_It's just Britt," Santana replied, determined to somehow get back to the girl she was. "It's different. She's a girl."_

_For some reason Rachel looked more troubled at that but she had nodded. "Just remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."_

"_Thanks, Mom," Santana replied with a roll of her eyes. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, not wanting to show how freaked out she was._

"You're being really quiet," Brittany noted, poking the brunette's leg gently.

Santana forced a smile and shook her head. "Sorry, B. Lost in thought." Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she smiled when she saw a text from Rachel.

_I'm thinking about you. If you need me for anything, just call. _

_xo-R_

She typed back a quick response and swallowed hard when they suddenly pulled into Brittany's driveway.

"Mom and Dad are gone for the night," Brittany told her with a flirty smile. "It's just you and me."

Santana smiled nervously at that. "Great, Britts."

They were barely through the front door and Brittany had her pressed against it roughly, making Santana's head swim with anxiety and anticipation. She pulled her lips from the blonde's and tried to catch her breath while lips met the skin of her throat.

Brittany's hands were everywhere. Pulling her own clothes off, yanking roughly at Santana's as she guided them both to her bedroom. Santana wasn't sure she could make it. Her breathing became ragged, but it wasn't for the reasons Brittany was mistaking it for and that only seemed to spur the blonde on.

Once they hit the threshold of Brittany's room Santana found a new resolve. Something about the warm familiarity of the room washed over her and she was suddenly in the moment.

She cradled Brittany's face gently with her hands and kissed her for all she was worth, their tongues dancing roughly as they began to shed what was left of their clothes.

Santana jumped when fingers danced over her bare abdomen. She flinched, hating the feeling that washed over her suddenly when hands began to grope at her breasts just a little too roughly.

"Britt, easy," she whispered against Brittany's lips.

Brittany giggled and kissed her gently, pulling her hair free of the rubber band holding it back. "Sorry. I missed you."

"Me too," Santana sighed as she once again tried to lose herself in the blonde as she was so often able to.

But something felt off.

Wrong somehow.

Before she could register another thought she was being guided down to the mattress and a comfortable weight was settled on top of her.

"Not gonna fight me for the top tonight?" Brittany asked with a grin as she gazed down at the girl beneath her. Santana shook her head and reached out to pull her closer to kiss her.

And just like that it was like nothing had ever happened.

Like her whole fucking world hadn't been turned upside down and left her an emotional, terrified mess of a girl.

She slid her fingers through blonde locks, keeping Brittany close. Brittany complied for a moment until her lips began to wander. The pressed against Santana's neck, her throat, her chest, her breasts, her stomach. Suddenly she stopped.

"Britt?" Santana breathed when the blonde's movements stilled.

"San," Brittany whispered as she ghosted fingers over the bruises on the brunette's inner thighs. "What happened?"

And just like that the spell was broken.

Santana sat up so suddenly she nearly knocked Brittany off the bed. Her arms crossed protectively over her chest and shook her head. "It's nothing."

Brittany studied her for a long stretch of moments. "But…"

"Brittany, just leave it alone," Santana told her, her voice turning icy.

Brittany's face crumpled instantly, knowing - and hating - that voice, and Santana softened again, reaching out to her and leaning in enough to kiss her gently.

"Sorry, babe, I didn't mean to snap," Santana cooed softly, running a hand over the blonde's hair affectionately. "It happened last weekend. Things were just kind of rough."

"He hurt you?" Brittany wondered, her eyes suddenly tearing up.

Santana shook her head quickly, forcing her features into a smirk. "Not that kind of rough, Britts. The good kind."

"Oh," Brittany responded with a short nod of her head, trying to look like she understood. "You sure?"

"Promise," Santana replied with another quick kiss. She stood from the bed, Brittany following her up and pulling her into a hug before she could protest. Brittany kept one arm around her middle, keeping her close as she ran the backs of her fingers from the other hand down Santana's side gently.

Santana bit her lip and her eyes closed at the sensation. Brittany always knew _just_ how to touch her. She let her head fall to the blonde's shoulder as she simply stood and soaked in the attention.

Something strange happened then.

For just a moment she imagined what it would be like to stand in Rachel's arms. To have the brunette press tender kisses to her neck and stroke her side idly. To inhale Rachel's entire being.

She felt her body react instantly and Brittany picked up on the subtle change in her as well. She felt the other girl flush in her arms, she felt her nipples stiffen against her own chest, she felt her breathing increase and took it as a sign to continue where they'd left off minutes ago.

Brittany pulled her closer and her lips sought out the skin below Santana's ear, knowing that was the spot that drove the brunette wild. She smiled against the rapidly warming skin and guided them to the bed once more, settling her weight over the hips below hers. Her left hand fell to the bed next to Santana's head as the other skimmed the toned expanse of the girl below her. She maneuvered her hand between their bodies, slipping below the waistband of the brunette's panties, biting her lip at the wetness that met her fingers.

"You're so wet," Brittany purred into her ear softly.

She kept her eyes trained on Santana as she eased her fingers into her, smiling at the crease that appeared between the other girl's eyebrows, knowing it would relax almost immediately.

But it didn't.

Santana raised one hand to cover her closed eyes while the other closed around Brittany's wrist.

"San?" She adjusted her position, wondering if she was hurting the other girl. She frowned deeper when she suddenly felt Santana shaking under her and noticed her chin quivering.

"Brittany, move," Santana ordered, desperately trying to sit up.

"Santana, what happened?" Brittany asked, panic coloring her voice.

"Move," Santana begged again as a tear escaped her eye. She swiped at her eyes as she staggered off the bed, reaching for her clothes.

"What's going on?" Brittany asked, standing and reaching out to her.

"Britt, stop!" Santana shouted, thrusting an arm out between them to keep space between them as she pulled her clothes on. "Just give me room to breathe."

"Did I do something wrong?" Brittany asked, a pout settling over her features and tears springing to her eyes. She'd never seen Santana act this way and it scared her to death.

"No, come here," Santana sighed and dropped everything in her arms, pulling the blonde into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just not feeling well."

Brittany pulled away and studied her. "You haven't felt well for a few weeks. Since that party."

Santana visibly flinched at that and pulled out of her arms to get dressed. Brittany pulled on her discarded tee shirt, leaving her in that and her panties as she perched on the bed and watched her best friend dress quickly.

"Promise it isn't me?" she questioned softly.

Santana approached her, dropping a quick kiss to her forehead, running a hand over her hair gently. She was itching to go, but knew she had to take care of Brittany before she did. "I swear." She held out her pinky and smiled tenderly when Brittany linked their fingers together. "I have to go."

Brittany nodded, still rather sullen and watched her leave.

Santana practically sprinted down the stairs, not stopping until she was on the front porch, where she paused sit on the steps to pull her shoes on.

She considered texting Puck for a ride, but quickly nixed the idea deciding he would take that text too literally and want to sneak off somewhere for a quickie. If tonight had proved one thing it was that she wasn't even remotely close to being okay enough for intimacy of any kind.

It kind of made her stomach hurt.

She stared at her phone, going over a mental list of people she could call to pick her up and the only name she kept coming back to was Rachel. She hesitated, knowing the diva was on a date with Finn and she felt bad about messing her night up, but in the end decided that Rachel was her only option in the state she was in. She sighed and took off in the direction of the diva's house, knowing it was a good few miles.

She sent a quick text to Rachel.

_You still with Finnocence?_

_S_

It wasn't long before a text buzzed through.

_Are you okay?_

_-RB_

Santana debated for a moment and typed back a response.

_No_

It only took a moment for her response.

_Where are you?_

Santana responded and took a seat on the curb a few houses down from Brittany's under a streetlight. She dropped her elbows to her knees and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes as she began to sob.

The one thing she had counted on since the party was that things with Brittany would be the same. She figured that female hands and female lips and female everything else would keep her comfortable enough not to completely lose her shit.

She was wrong.

_Brittany shoved her roughly against the door, kissing her breathless as hands tangled in her hair to keep her close. Santana gasped a breath, easing the need for oxygen at being slammed into a door, and tilted her chin back enough for Brittany's lips to kiss and bite her neck._

_She felt the familiar knot of arousal beginning to form in her belly as Brittany's knee worked its way between her legs and pressed up, earning another gasp._

"_Britt, stop, we can't do this here," Santana whispered, her words broken up by stutters every time Brittany hit a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. Brittany knew each spot by heart so it wasn't shocking._

"_Mmm hmm," Brittany hummed against the hollow of her throat. She ran two fingers along the crotch of Santana's cutoffs. "Are you wet?"_

"_Britts, I'm serious," Santana urged again as she ran the pads of her fingers down Brittany's arms, grasping them both at the wrists and pulling them from her body. She was most definitely wet and she knew if they didn't leave the room immediately they wouldn't be leaving for much too long and it would be entirely too suspicious._

_A disgruntled face met hers and she had to smile at the blonde's adorableness. "Let's just make the rounds and then we'll go to your place."_

_Brittany pouted. "But if I go back out there that football player will want to make out."_

"_The senior?" Santana asked. "Kevin?" Brittany nodded and Santana kissed her. "I know. But we need this to stay popular so we can stay safe. It's better than Karofsky." She made a face that made Brittany giggle and smiled, pulling the blonde from the room._

_They were handed two shots each before they'd even made it all the way down the stairs and before Santana could protest she was being pulled out the back door. Next thing she knew he was grinning down at her with his hand in her shorts._

"_You're so wet."_

_She cursed herself for getting so worked up minutes before with Brittany and the shame burned a white-hot trail through her chest._

She felt the same shame bubbling up inside her again and she suddenly felt the familiar beginnings of a panic attack. She felt her heart stutter in her chest, her vision tightened and her throat pinched as panic settled over her. She dropped her head between her knees and focused on her breathing.

Breathe in.

Breath out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

On her tenth breath she heard the squeal of tires and a door slam.

"Santana!"

Rachel's voice washed over her and it was as if she could physically feel the panic seeping out of her little by little.

Suddenly there was a body next to her on the curb, pressing into her side gently and an arm around her shoulders. The panic subsided further.

"Are you alright?"

That voice washed over her again and it released the knots in her stomach and calmed the thunderous beating of her heart. She felt like she could breathe again.

"Can you stand?" Rachel asked gently. Two shakes of a dark head was all Rachel needed to know to simply sit and wait it out. Rachel's right hand grasped at Santana's bicep while her left made soothing circles on the other girl's back.

Santana took another moment to focus completely on her breathing and then she nodded wordlessly, so insanely grateful in that moment for Rachel.

"Come on," Rachel coaxed softly, pulling her up carefully as she stood.

Santana allowed herself to be guided to the car and once she was tucked away safely they headed towards the Berry house.

It was a silent ride and Santana was grateful that Rachel had learned to read her well enough to know when and when not to ask questions. They entered the house and headed upstairs to change into comfortable clothes and wordlessly reconvened in Rachel's bedroom.

Rachel could feel her heart thundering in her chest because she knew she needed to have a very uncomfortable conversation and she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Do you need anything?" she asked, instead of getting right to it.

Santana shook her head, sliding under the blankets. She watched as Rachel climbed up on the bed facing her, crossing her legs Indian style, and reaching for her hands.

"Tell me what happened," Rachel requested softly.

Santana met her eyes then and the way the diva was watching her so closely and carefully made her heart twist painfully in her chest. She knew that Rachel was the only person she could trust so she decided to try talking a little.

"Britt and I went to her place after the game," Santana started softly, her voice tight and disconnected and not sounding at all like her own. She paused to clear her throat. "I could tell the way she was looking at me all night that she wanted to have some fun…I thought I was ready." She paused again when her eyes welled with tears and she blinked them back rapidly. "We started making out and it was kinda scary at first. But the second we got to her room it was okay again. Then she saw my legs and started asking questions. And then she said…" Santana shook her head. "I just couldn't."

Rachel remained perfectly silent, terrified that if she made even a sound that the spell would be broken and Santana would stop talking. She turned one of Santana's hands over in her own and allowed her fingertips to gently trace the inside of the cheerleader's wrist in a soothing motion, hoping to offer any serenity she could.

Santana stared at their hands for a moment, feeling all the fear and panic seeping out of her with every swipe of Rachel's thumb against her skin. She felt her body slacken as the tension began to evaporate and she sighed.

"I don't know why I thought it would be different because Britt's a girl," Santana mused, her voice finally returning to normal. "I guess it was stupid. I just wanted to feel close to someone and have it be safe."

"You didn't feel safe with her?" Rachel asked, unable to help herself.

Santana seemed conflicted by the question. "Brittany is safe. She is. I don't really know what I'm talking about. I don't really know what I'm thinking or feeling."

"Santana," Rachel started, waiting until dark eyes met hers. "I think you should talk to someone about this."

"I am," Santana replied, anger and betrayal rearing up inside her instantly, knowing where Rachel was headed with this. Her eyes narrowed. "I'm talking to you."

"And I'm glad you're opening up," Rachel assured her quickly. "But I think you should go to the police."

In that instant Santana's face hardened. Rachel gulped at the sight of the cheerleader's Head Bitch face that she'd seen far too often. "I thought I could trust you."

"You can!" Rachel insisted. "But this is serious."

"No," Santana replied immediately, pulling her hand from the diva's as she struggled to free herself from the blankets and get out of the bed.

"Santana," Rachel started, reaching out to Santana, desperate to keep her close.

"No," Santana repeated with a shake of her head. The sheets grew more tangled around her ankles with each frustrated kick she sent to them and she yelped when she went tumbling from the bed, landing in a messy heap on the floor.

"Santana, stop," Rachel insisted as she climbed off the bed and crouched in front of the other girl. She frowned at the tension that had returned to the other girl's body, the guarded eyes and crease between her brows and she knew she shouldn't push any further. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Santana replied dismissively. She began to untangle herself from the blankets, but remained on the floor.

Rachel's head tilted to the side, a watery frown appearing on her lips. She sniffled back her tears and nodded. "Don't do that. Please? Don't shut me out, Santana."

Santana's jaw clenched, almost to the point of pain and she dropped her head, sighing heavily, all the fight leaving her body instantly. She was so tired of fighting "Why can't I just be myself again? Why does this have to be so hard?"

Rachel's heart broke for her friend and she scooted over and wrapped Santana in her arms. Santana clung to her and her tears began to fall.

"You just have to give it time," Rachel told her softly.

"I don't want to," Santana mumbled, her face shifting into a pout that Rachel would have found absolutely adorable if it not for the situation.

"If I could snap my fingers and make it all go away I would," Rachel told her softly.

Santana nodded, snuggling down into Rachel's arms. They were silent for a few minutes as Santana regained her composure. Something suddenly occurred to her. "Hey, Rachel?"

"Hmm?" Rachel hummed contently, she was becoming quite the fan of the closeness the two of them shared lately. Santana hesitated causing Rachel's eyes to search her face. "What's wrong?"

"Is this weird for you?" Santana asked, gesturing between the two of them. "I didn't really think about it until now, me being all clingy and weirdly cuddly."

Rachel giggled, making Santana's lips quirk a bit. "No." Rachel suddenly hesitated before she shrugged shyly. "It's nice. Being this close to you."

Santana glanced up and it was all Rachel could do not to wince at the still fading cuts and bruises on her face. Santana held her gaze for a long moment as if she was searching the diva's eyes for something. She nodded. "I agree." She sighed, breaking eye contact. "I'm sorry I ruined your Friday night."

"It's not ruined, silly," Rachel told her with a smile. "Come on, up we go." She stood and helped Santana back into bed before fixing the blankets and sheets. She shuffled around and located the TV remote from the table and flicked it on. "Besides, there's an America's Next Top Model marathon on all weekend."

Santana was grateful that Rachel didn't push her any further and in that moment she closed her eyes and sent up a silent prayer that the little diva next to her had come into her life when she needed her most.

When she opened her eyes and glanced at Rachel she found the other girl watching her with a warm, tender smile that was enough to rid her mind of everything that had happened over the last few hours.

"How was _your_ date?" Santana asked after a few moments.

"It was fine," Rachel answered, distracted by the runway show on TV. She paused. "Are you and Brittany dating?"

"What?" The question caught Santana off-guard and she hated how all her defense mechanisms and every wall she'd ever built to keep people out were suddenly active and waiting to be thrown up at any moment.

Why couldn't she just be normal about this sort of thing?

Rachel shook her head. "The way you asked about how my date went led me to believe you were on a date as well. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get too personal."

Santana rolled her eyes at how stupid she knew she was being. Even so she was still on guard, but less so. "Rachel, do you really think there's such a thing as too personal between us right now?" She pondered that and shook her head. "Don't answer that. If you start explaining the more intimate details of your relationship with Finn I might jump off a bridge."

"I suppose you're right," Rachel replied with a smile. "I just meant that you seem to keep that part of yourself very well hidden."

"Yeah, because being gay gets your ass kicked in this damn cow town," Santana blurted out without thinking. She instantly winced, her eyes closing and her cheeks growing insanely hot. "That's not what I meant," she offered after a long silence. When Rachel didn't respond Santana cracked an eye open and found the diva staring at the TV again. She suddenly didn't know what to do or say. "Did you…hear what I just said?"

"Mmm hmm," Rachel responded with a distracted nod of her head, her eyes still glued to the set. "But _your_ reaction to what you just said told me everything _I_ needed to know about how to respond to what you just said." She shrugged. "You can talk about it if you want. You can not talk about it if you want. Just remember who my parents are and know that you're still safe here."

Santana was completely dumbfounded. She had just come out to someone for the first time and it was the absolute last person Santana had ever expected to tell about this, but she felt oddly liberated and the way Rachel responded was exactly what she needed.

Again.

Santana also realized she wasn't really ready to talk about it. Admitting it was enough for now, but she also knew that Rachel would be the ideal person to talk to about these sorts of things when the time came. But one conversation needed to happen first.

"Do you want me to get out of your bed?" Santana asked softly, preparing herself for the answer she didn't want to hear.

Rachel muted the TV and met her eyes. "I'm only going to say this once. What you just told me will never change anything between the two of us. If anything I feel closer to you than I did five minutes ago. This changes nothing. So stay where you are."

Santana felt herself misting up a little and she smiled gratefully, looping her arm through Rachel's and resting her head on the diva's shoulder. "Thanks, Rachel."

Rachel tilted her head enough to drop a kiss to the top of Santana's head. "Any time."

**XX**

A.N. Thanks for reading. Short, I know, but I wanted to throw this out there to let you all know that I haven't forgotten this one. Hope you enjoyed.


	9. Chapter 9

Santana returned to Rachel's bedroom armed with snacks and drinks the next afternoon, her mouth open and prepared to go on a tirade over the latest episode of America's Top Model, which both girls had confessed to loving, but she froze in the doorway, the words dying on her lips. Rachel was sprawled across her bed sound asleep.

She felt a wave of guilt shoot through her, knowing it was her fault that Rachel was so tired. She'd kept them both up countless nights with her crying and nightmares and she guessed it was really only a matter of time before Rachel would crash on her.

She stepped into the room silently and set her snacks on the desk, gripping the blanket at the edge of Rachel's bed, pulling it up the smaller girl's frame slowly and tucking it in carefully around her sides.

She was about to exit the room when she thought better of it and joined Rachel on the bed, snuggling into the other girl's side slowly so as not to wake her. She grabbed the television remote and muted the TV so as not to disturb her slumbering companion.

For a moment it was as if her world was righted again. She felt comfortable and safe and she couldn't tell if the body next to her was responsible for the warmth that seemed to suddenly consume her.

Rachel was a still, nearly silent presence beside her as episode after episode continued to play. Santana would silently curse at the judges' decisions, aiming the remote at Tyra specifically when one of her favorites would be sent home, as if the remote would banish the judge into reality TV hell.

Without even really realizing it was happening Santana glanced down to find Rachel snuggled very comfortably into her side and something about it made Santana's stomach twist in a way it hadn't in too long.

She abandoned the remote and scooted down the bed a little, turning her body so she was facing the diva. She allowed herself a moment to map the lines of the other girl's face with her eyes. Her slim brows, smooth eyelids that covered the warmest eyes she'd ever seen, her pouty lips. She really was a beautiful girl and Santana felt a stab of remorse thinking about all the horrible things she'd ever said to Rachel to make her doubt how beautiful she really was.

Santana frowned a moment later when a sound escaped those lips that sounded too much like a whimper for her to ignore. She noticed the way the diva's face tightened and a crease appeared between her brows, pinching them together.

Rachel flinched, scaring Santana, and she began to twitch, her face growing more agitated with each passing second.

"Rachel," Santana whispered, trying to soothe the other girl in her sleep. She ran the pad of her index finger down the slope of Rachel's nose gently, but all that did was further agitate the smaller girl.

"Rach, wake up," Santana coaxed in a louder voice. She reached out to grasp Rachel's forearm and squeezed gently.

Rachel awoke with a start, her eyes wide and breathing heavy. Her eyes swept rapidly over the face before hers as if she was searching for some sort of injury.

"Are you alright?" Rachel whispered, her voice cracking.

Santana nodded, her eyes concerned as she watched the other girl. "Bad dream?"

Rachel nodded and her hand rose slowly and reached out to Santana. She pressed her palm against Santana's cheek carefully, her thumb swiping softly over the skin of her cheekbone. When she was sure that whatever she'd seen in her dream had just been a dream she reached out to tuck a strand of dark hair behind Santana's ear.

"He hurt you again," Rachel admitted softly. "In my dream." She blinked rapidly, her eyes going far away as if she was remembering and she shuddered.

Santana frowned and wrapped an arm around Rachel, pulling her in tight. It seemed to be as much for her benefit as it was Rachel's. She heard Rachel let out a sigh and felt her body slacken in her arms. "Tell me."

Rachel's head shook slowly, but Santana knew if she was patient that the other girl would eventually tell her.

Rachel swallowed hard, her brain fighting the images of her dream with the ones she could see in real life. "He broke you." She shivered again, grateful when the gentle arms around her tightened again. "He didn't stop until he broke you." Images of Santana's broken face on the floor of the forest behind Azimio's house flashed through her mind so she pulled back enough to sweep her eyes over the face before her, just to assure herself again that Santana was okay.

"Rachel, it was just a dream," Santana whispered gently. "I'm okay."

Rachel stared at her then with an intensity that she'd never been on the receiving end of. It was as if the girl was looking through her, down to her very soul and while it unnerved her, it also filled her with a sense of relief. She wondered briefly if confiding her secret would give her the same strange sense of cartharsis.

They were suddenly very close, sharing the same air and Santana searched Rachel's eyes for some sort of recognition that this situation was a bit unusual, but she didn't even flinch. It was as if she was enjoying the closeness as much as Santana was willing to admit to herself that she was as well.

"I'm with you," Santana whispered. "I'm safe."

Santana's face edged forward just slightly, still searching those intense eyes for some sort of rejection, a reason to stop all forward motion. But still there was none.

"Rachel we're home!"

Both girls sprang apart like they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't have.

"My dads," Rachel mumbled. Her eyes fell to Santana instantly. "I'm sorry."

Santana misunderstood the apology and sat up, running a shaking hand through her hair as she did. "Yeah, I'll take off. Sorry."

"No," Rachel argued immediately. She was flustered and her face was so hot. Why was her face so hot? "I'm sorry if they scared you." She shook her head. "Don't go."

"But they're home, there's no reason for me to stay," Santana replied with a shrug as she began wandering around the room to pick up her things.

"If you need a reason to stay, I'm sure I can find one," Rachel told her with a teasing smile that made Santana grin in spite of herself. She saw Santana hesitate. "Don't go."

"Rachel are you here?" a voice called from downstairs. "Whose car is that in the driveway?"

"I'll be right down!" Rachel called down. She faced Santana again. "Please? I'll tell them what's going on and they will love having you around. Pretty please?"

"You won't tell them…"

Rachel shook her head. "Just that you're staying." She hesitated. "If you're staying."

Santana weighed her options and in the end it was a ridiculously easy choice and she nodded. "Okay."

Suddenly Rachel's face radiated with a stunning smile and Santana found herself wondering how she could have ever _not_ found Rachel attractive. And when the diva went bounding down the stairs she was left wondering when she _started _finding Rachel Berry attractive.

It wasn't too long before Rachel returned to the bedroom and peeked her head inside. "Hi."

Santana smiled. "Hi."

"Want to come meet the dads?" Rachel asked softly as she pushed the door open.

"What did you tell them?" Santana asked. She gestured to her face. "They aren't going to think it was my parents that did this or anything, are they?"

Rachel shook her head. "I told them you were involved in an altercation and neither of us wanted you to stay by yourself while you were healing."

Santana sighed. "Great, so they'll just think that I'm a troublemaker who likes to get into fights."

Rachel rolled her eyes and grabbed her hand. "Not at all. Come on."

Santana followed Rachel out the door hesitantly only to pull her to a stop at the top of the stairs. "Do I look okay?"

"Gorgeous as always," Rachel replied with a smile. "Now stop stalling."

Santana purposely ignored the way that compliment made her stomach flip flop as Rachel led them down the stairs and into the kitchen where two tall, good-looking men were poking around in the fridge.

"Dad, Daddy, I want you to meet Santana Lopez," Rachel stated, laughing when one of her fathers hit his head on a shelf in the fridge in his hurry to stand upright.

"Careful, Hiram," the other man soothed with a smirk. He turned to face Santana and he was unable to hide the shock on his face upon seeing her. It was replaced in an instant by a warm smile and he extended his hand. "Leroy Berry. It's nice to meet you. This is Hiram, the pig."

"I am not a pig," Hiram protested with a mock glare and he smiled at Santana as well, much better at hiding his shock over seeing the battered girl in his kitchen. "Hiram. It's nice to meet you, honey."

"Nice to meet you too," Santana replied with a shy smile. She didn't know what it was, but most parents took one look at her and had her pegged to be some slutty cheerleader and hated her right away, but these two men didn't seem to let even her appearance conjure up any sort of preconceived notions about her.

"So, Santana, you've been keeping our girl company for the last few days?" Leroy asked as he slid an arm around Rachel's shoulders and squeezed them lovingly. He glanced at his husband and watched him dive back into the fridge. He shot Santana a look that clearly said 'I'm not responsible for that man' that made them both laugh.

Santana nodded, leaning herself against the counter. "My parents were supposed to be going to Europe for a few weeks, but my dad had to stay back for work, so Rachel invited me to stay while we were both home alone."

"Well it was nice of you to stay even if you weren't home alone," Hiram told her from the depths of the refrigerator. "Rachel didn't you do any shopping while we were gone? I'm starving."

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully. "No. You know how much I hate the grocery store." She gave Santana a cheeky smile suddenly. "And Santana's dad will be joining her mom once he gets some work stuff done, right?"

Santana nodded. "Right."

"Carlos Lopez, right?" Leroy asked. She nodded. "He's a fine doctor. And a good man."

Santana nodded, glad that her father was respected and well liked around town, but she felt a stab of remorse that she didn't have her parents around like Rachel's were. "He is. He's just busy."

Leroy watched her for a moment and he felt his heart break for the girl standing in his kitchen. He couldn't explain it, but he felt he knew her already and he felt she would be someone that he would truly come to adore. He propped himself against the counter next to her and nudged her gently. "You don't have to explain, kiddo. And you're more than welcome to stay with us whenever you want. Home alone or not."

She met his eyes then and gave him a heart-crushing smile, so grateful that she'd let Rachel take her home after that party. "Thanks."

He nodded, grinning back. "And I have to tell you, you were absolutely terrific at Sectionals this year."

Santana met his gaze with a funny little smile, completely flattered that anyone remembered her performance. "Really? Thanks."

"Rachel was absolutely fuming when she came home and told us that you had gotten the solo," Hiram told her, sticking his head out of the fridge long enough to smile. "But the next day she went on and on about how fantastic you sounded."

Santana felt totally flattered again and met a blushing Rachel's gaze across the room. "True or not true?"

"True," Rachel admitted.

"I knew you were jealous of my talent," Santana joked, flipping her hair over her shoulder haughtily.

Rachel's eyes narrowed playfully. "Don't let your head swell up too big. Nationals are mine."

"You wish," Santana told her with a laugh.

"Enough of this," Hiram grumbled with a sigh as he closed the fridge. "Chinese?"

"Mmm, sweet and sour chicken would be good," Rachel hummed happily.

"I thought you were vegan," Santana wondered.

Rachel smiled, flattered that Santana remembered anything about her. "It was sort of a phase."

"I see," Santana replied with a silly smile. She noticed the other three seemed to be waiting for her seal of approval for their dinner choice and she nodded. "Chinese sounds awesome."

"Excellent."

The four of them formed a little circle around the menu, each of them standing around the island in the middle of the kitchen. They took turns pointing out certain dishes and turning down others, laughing and giggling and making jokes and Santana couldn't help but notice the warmth that had settled in her chest at the way they'd made her feel so much a part of their happy little family in less than twenty minutes.

**XX**

"Hey, hot stuff."

Santana instantly recognized the voice and the nickname, and she looked up with a smile to find Holly Holiday standing next to her table in the library.

"Hey, Miss H," Santana replied.

"Can I sit?" Holly asked, pointing to the empty chair across from the teen.

Santana nodded. "Of course. Are you back?"

Holly nodded, her hands folding in front of her on the table. "For a few weeks. How have you been?"

Santana had picked up on the subtle inflection in the substitute's voice and she saw the concern shining in her eyes the moment she'd turned around. It was very obvious that Holly knew something major was going on with her. "I'm willing to bet you already know the answer to that question."

Holly nodded slowly, unable and unwilling to lie to the younger girl. "Will mentioned that you seemed to be going through something."

"I'm fine," Santana replied automatically, rather miffed that her teacher had said something about her to anyone.

"You know what fine stands for, don't you?" Holly asked, and answered before Santana could even begin to. "Effed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional." She shrugged. "No offense."

Santana actually grinned at that, knowing Holly wasn't calling her any of those things per se. She sighed. "I appreciate you taking the time, Holly, but I'm really okay."

"Well, your eyes tell me otherwise," Holly pointed out softly. This made Santana glance uneasily around the abandoned library. "Can I buy you a coffee?"

Santana met her gaze, unsure for a moment until she nodded. "Okay."

Twenty minutes later they were seated in the back corner of a coffee shop and Holly reached across the table to grasp Santana's hands. "Honey, what's going on?" Santana squirmed in her seat and Holly could feel her hands shaking. "Hey, if you can't talk about this, you can talk to me about something else. Anything else. I just want to listen."

Santana's fingers dropped to the wooden table between them and her eyes followed the imaginary patterns her fingers made on the surface. "I'm not sure there's anything to really say."

"What about Brittany?" Holly asked after a moment. "Are you two still…"

Santana shook her head. "Not really. I can't really…I haven't."

Holly shook her head, understanding what Santana was trying to say to her. She placed a hand over one of the younger girl's. "I get it."

"I mean, I love her," Santana said softly, a sigh escaping her lips. "I don't know, maybe I've just felt something for someone else lately. Which is crazy considering everything I just went through." She frowned. "Everything I'm still going through."

"Anyone I know?" Holly asked.

Santana hesitated. She glanced up at the older woman, knowing she could trust Holly. "Rachel Berry."

Surprise registered on the teacher's face, but her lips twitched in a smile. "I didn't see that coming."

"Tell me about it," Santana mumbled, smiling herself.

"Well, sometimes the best things in life are the things we don't expect," Holly told her softly.

Santana shrugged a shoulder, both hands gripping her coffee mug. "She makes me feel…safe. And happy." Her lips turned down into a frown. "But sometimes I feel guilty about it. And really confused."

"Why is that?" Holly wondered.

"Sometimes I wonder if my feelings come from the fact that she's the only person I feel safe around. Like, would I feel this way about whoever had found me after that party?"

"What happened after the party?" Holly asked carefully.

Santana was so deep in thought that she answered the question automatically. "She took care of me." Her eyes darted up to meet Holly's. "She was…quiet and kind…and everything I needed."

"That covers 'confused'," Holly said softly. "What about guilty?"

Santana sighed. "I'm staying at her house, sleeping in her bed. She skips out on everyone to hang out with me. I just feel like all I've been doing is taking from her and I don't have anything to give back to her."

"Honey, Rachel may be self-centered and probably the most driven teenager I've ever met," Holly told her with a teasing smile to let her know that she wasn't saying these things to be mean. "But she's also one of the most giving and caring people I've ever met. If she's giving you all that she is, it's because she wants to, not because she wants anything in return."

"Part of me knows that," Santana told her. "That's one of the reasons I love being around her so much. Because she's one of the only people in my life right now that isn't expecting an explanation, or accusations, or sex." Her voice broke on the last word and the look of realization on Holly's face was enough to tell her that her teacher had figured out exactly what was going on with her. Before she could rush from her seat, warm hands closed over hers gently.

"Santana, it's okay," Holly said softly. "Don't go."

"You can't tell anyone about this," Santana begged suddenly, panic suddenly welling up inside her. It was floating in on the edges of her vision and making her heart pound in her chest. Suddenly it felt like the walls were closing in on her. "Please."

"Honey, calm down," Holly told her. "Stay put and relax."

"I need to get out of here," Santana told her quietly but urgently. She felt like if she didn't get up and out of this rapidly shrinking space she would lose her shit.

"Okay," Holly told her, standing and grasping Santana's hand, pulling her from the table.

As soon as the fresh, chilly fall air hit her, Santana felt better. The pair walked in silence for several long minutes, Holly still gripping Santana's hand, as if she was afraid the moment she let go the girl would take off.

"Are you gonna tell?" Santana asked finally.

Holly sighed, squeezing her hand. "I should." She felt the girl stiffen next to her. "But technically you didn't tell me anything that I could tell to anyone." She pulled Santana to a stop, forcing the girl to look at her. "I will keep this quiet for now on one condition."

Santana was suddenly weary. "What's the condition?"

Holly met her gaze evenly. "You let me take you to a doctor."

"No," Santana replied immediately. She began to back up, wanting to get away immediately.

"Wait, Santana," Holly urged softly. "Listen, sweetie. I won't ask, I'll make sure they don't ask. Just go and get checked out so I know you're okay."

"How do you know I haven't already?" Santana asked.

"Have you?" Holly countered immediately, knowing the answer already.

Santana's eyes fell to the ground guiltily, digging the toe of her boot into the sidewalk. "No."

Holly released her hand and slung an arm around her shoulders snugly, squeezing her gently. "Just let me take care of it, okay?"

Santana looked up at her and realized she suddenly had someone else she could trust. She nodded. "Okay."

"Come on," Holly told her with a wink, leading her back to the car.

Santana felt an anxiety unlike any other she'd ever known flood her senses in that moment. Not knowing what Holly really thought she knew, not knowing what kinds of things the doctors were going to ask her, and if this could somehow get back to her parents had her heart hammering in her chest. But somehow she knew with Holly there next to her, it might just be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

Rachel was lying on her stomach across her bed, headphones in her ears, her head resting on her crossed arms. She was trying not to think about where Santana was. She hadn't seen her since lunch and when she wasn't in glee she assumed that the other girl had come home. But she came home to an empty house. Santana's car wasn't in the driveway and she had tried calling her several times but her phone went to voicemail every time.

Every insecurity she'd ever had came rushing back to her. Had Santana only been using her? Was she ignoring her? Had they even been friends or had she imagined the whole thing?

Relief flooded her when she saw Santana peek her head around the corner into her room, and she grinned, pulling her headphones from her ears.

"Hi."

Santana's smile was weary as she entered the room slowly. She closed the door and leaned back against it. "Hey."

"I was worried about you," Rachel told her softly.

"I should have called you." Santana let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry."

Rachel studied her carefully, scooting over and patting the bed next to her. "Come here."

Santana hesitated. She gazed down at the girl watching her so closely and it felt like her chest was exploding with a feeling that really couldn't be described as anything but adoration. After the afternoon she'd just had, to be in Rachel's presence was such a relief. She moved towards the bed and sat down, only to be gently tugged down next to the other girl. She turned on her side, curling up a little.

Rachel was silent as she waited for some sort of explanation for her absence and she reached out her hand, placing it gently over Santana's forearm, her thumb tracing imaginary patterns on her skin.

"Shue called Holly."

"Holiday?" Rachel wondered. That was certainly the last thing she had been expecting.

Santana nodded. Her eyes fell to Rachel's hand on her arm and she took a moment to shift their hands so their fingers were linked together. "He told her something was going on with me so she took me out for coffee and we talked."

Rachel propped herself up on her elbow to watch Santana more carefully. "Did you tell her?"

"No." Santana shook her head, her hand reaching out to twirl a long, dark curl around her fingers. "But she figured it out."

"What does that mean?" Rachel wondered. Her mind was racing with the thought that maybe now that an adult knew what was going on, maybe Santana could finally start to heal.

"I asked her to keep it quiet, but she told me the only way she would was if she took me to a doctor," Santana told her quietly, her voice tapering off into a whisper towards the end. Rachel felt the relief swell inside her and it must have been evident on her face because Santana smiled tiredly. "I'm fine, Rachel." She shrugged a shoulder. "Physically at least."

"You're sure?" Rachel asked, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Santana's ear.

Santana nodded. "The doctor said it looked like there was some tearing that could have needed stitches, but it healed on its own. Other than that, I'm totally healthy."

Rachel's eyes mapped her face, taking in every detail, before they watched those dark eyes closely for a moment. "What aren't you saying?"

Santana shook her head, averting her eyes as a shiver passed through her. "The exam was kind of horrible."

"Oh my God." Rachel understood immediately and she reached out to pull Santana into her body. "Are you okay?"

Santana felt her body slacken instantly in Rachel's arms and she was sure to keep absolutely still once she was there, hoping the diva would hold on. Rachel seemed to sense this and held her even tighter. "Holly was there to hold my hand." She stole a glance up at Rachel and found those intense mocha eyes watching her. Rachel did have beautiful eyes. "I wished it was you."

"You should have called me," Rachel told her, pressing her lips to the taller girl's forehead. She threaded the fingers of her left hand with Santana's right hand. "What happened?"

Santana was still and quiet for a long time. She was simply trying to find a little solace after the afternoon she'd just had, and as usual she found it in Rachel's arms. Finally she sighed. "It was hella uncomfortable, for one." She swallowed hard, a shiver passing through her frame. "And the first doctor was a guy."

Rachel was silent for a minute, processing this and she shook her head, pressing another kiss to Santana's head. "I'm sorry."

Santana shook her head quietly as she tried to hold herself together. "I totally freaked." A deep sigh fell from her lips. "Of course, it wasn't a whole lot better with the female doctor. I just wonder how long it'll be before I don't lose my mind when someone touches me."

"It's only been a few weeks," Rachel murmured against her temple. "You'll get through this. I promise."

That was all it took for Santana to completely fall apart. Her body shook with each sob and all Rachel could do was hold her tightly. It broke her heart that her now close friend was struggling so much with all this pain and all she could do was be there for her.

So she was.

**XX**

"We need to talk."

Puck looked up to find Quinn standing next to his locker looking determined. He actually hated when she looked like that, because it usually meant she was getting ready to do something that she felt was for someone else's own good.

And it usually didn't end well.

"Okay," he replied warily. He exchanged a glance with a worried looking Brittany, who was standing just behind the other girl and he nodded. "Where to?"

Quinn turned without another word and led them both outside to the bleachers. They were abandoned and the trio took seats, Brittany and Quinn on one step and Puck a step below them, facing them.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I'm worried about Santana," she told them both.

"Me too," Brittany mumbled as she scooted over enough that she could drop her head to Quinn's shoulder.

Puck shrugged. "We all are. But she won't say squat to anyone but Rachel."

Quinn tried to ignore the way that statement bit into her with jealousy. "I think someone hurt her." She didn't want to say the word out loud.

"Someone did," Brittany confirmed. Suddenly the shoulder she was leaning into disappeared and she looked up to find Quinn turned to her fully. Hers and Puck's eyes were suddenly burning bright with anger.

"What did she say?" Quinn asked.

Brittany shook her head, confused by her friends' change in behavior. "She had some bruises on her legs. I asked her what happened, but she just said that she was making out with someone and things got rough."

"Who was it?"

Brittany shrugged, her eyes dropping to her hands in her lap and her chin quivering thinking back to that night. She sniffled and blinked back tears. "I don't know. We were making out and she freaked out and ran off before I could find out."

Quinn pulled the other girl into a hug. She hated seeing Brittany so heartbroken. "What else did she say?"

"She tried to tell me it was a good kind of rough," Brittany remembered, wiping at her eyes. "But she was really scared, you guys. She was shaking and she didn't want me to touch her."

"You were at the party, right, Britt?" Puck asked. He was pissed and felt sick knowing someone had hurt Santana.

Brittany nodded.

"Who was she with?" Quinn asked, her voice taking on that special low tone it only did when she wanted to kill someone. It scared Brittany.

"I didn't see her with anyone because we had to split up to make our rounds."

Quinn's insides still clinched at hearing that. She certainly didn't miss trying to stay popular by making the rounds. Making out with random jocks was not her idea of a good time anymore.

"Who were you with?" Quinn asked.

"Kevin," Brittany told them. "But he got bored and left because I was really drunk and then I fell asleep."

"I remember," Quinn told her.

A light bulb suddenly went off in Brittany's head. "I told her I didn't want to make out with him and she said 'it's better than Karofsky'."

Quinn and Puck exchanged a long look, both seemingly coming to a conclusion at the same time. They jumped up at the same time and took off leaving a rather confused Brittany behind them.

Puck was glad that Quinn had been a cheerleader as long as she had, because when he took off at a dead sprint, he knew she'd be able to keep up. They'd covered half the school when they finally caught sight of Karofsky at his locker alone.

Both teens slowed to a walk, wanting to catch their breath in case they needed to kill someone on the spot. It wouldn't be very handy to go into a fight winded and they both knew this.

Dave caught sight of them before they reached him and he rolled his eyes. "What do you two losers want?"

"We need to talk to you," Quinn replied, her voice low and threatening and Puck would have smiled because it even sent a shiver down his spine.

Dave was either immune to that voice, or had gotten really good at hiding the fear of it, because he seemed unaffected to Puck. But Quinn smiled her favorite evil-bitch smirk when she saw his jaw clench involuntarily at it.

"I'm late," he told them and he turned away from them to walk away. He was tugged back by the back of his jacket by Puck, who shoved him back into his locker.

They could see the fear suddenly. Dave searched the empty hall for someone, anyone who could help him, but came up empty. He shoved at Puck's arm, still holding him back against the locker. "Get the hell off me, man."

Quinn suddenly got in his face, pointing a finger at him, her eyes shining and terrifying. "I told you we needed to talk to you."

"Well talk then!" Dave exclaimed, losing his cool quickly. He knew how much power Quinn still held at school, even if she wasn't Head Bitch anymore. Two words from her and everyone would think he was a leper. He'd be on the losing end of the slushies. He'd be getting his ass kicked.

"Santana Lopez." Quinn said the two words evenly, her voice still low and menacing, and then she simply watched.

His entire body stiffened for one split second, his pupils dilated for an instant before returning to normal and then his lips turned into a lazy grin. "That's what this is all about? The school whore?" He flinched when a fist connected with the locker directly beside his head. "Whatever. What about her?"

Quinn took a calculated step towards him. She was close enough that he could smell her perfume and see the little flecks of gold in her eyes. He looked away. Her eyes scared the hell out of him. "You were with her at Azimio's party."

"No I wasn't," he denied quickly. Too quickly. He knew it was too quick. His jaw clenched and he couldn't meet their eyes.

"Ten people saw you two go into the woods together," Quinn told him, making it up on the spot. Now it was time to see if he would call her bluff.

He didn't.

"So what?" he asked, trying desperately to pull off cocky and arrogant. "We hooked up."

"Funny how ten people saw her stumble out of the woods after you hooked up looking like she'd been mugged," Puck told him, going with Quinn's lie easily.

Dave barely flinched, but she saw it. "She was drunk. We had sex and then I left. Who knows what happened after that."

Quinn knew this little chat was over and she patted him on the shoulder, smirking when he flinched. "Just be careful, Dave." Threatening eyes met his dead-on. "She's my best friend and when I find out who hurt her, I'll make sure he's buried."

Dave stared into those eyes for a long moment, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat. He rolled his eyes again, pulling away from them both. "Whatever, Fabray."

They watched him leave, both silent for a few minutes.

"Are we cool, Quinn?" Puck finally asked. Quinn turned her head to look at him. He met her gaze with one eyebrow cocked in question. "With Beth and everything else. Are we cool?"

She nodded finally. "Yeah."

He seemed to sigh in relief. "Good. Because you scare the hell out of me, Q."

Quinn actually laughed at that, rolling her eyes at him and slapping his shoulder gently. "Shut up."

**XX**

Quinn watched from her locker as Santana and Rachel spoke quietly at Santana's locker one morning. She watched the way Rachel said something that made the taller girl laugh and while it made her smile to see Santana laugh like she used to, something about the way the two girls were interacting made Quinn frown.

She could grudgingly admit that she was jealous of the relationship the two of them had suddenly formed. She knew that she had been rather self-involved lately and maybe Santana didn't feel like she was worthy of being confided in anymore.

Or maybe she was just jealous that someone else important in her life had chosen Rachel Berry over her.

Again.

It hurt her to admit it, but she knew it was true and she knew that she had two options: one was to be horrible to Rachel in hopes that the diva would leave them alone. She knew that choice was risky because she could push Santana further away since the two of them were apparently close. Or she could grow up and accept that Santana had other close friends besides her and Brittany, and maybe getting closer to Rachel would get her closer to Santana as well.

She didn't care that she was staring at the two of them down the hall or who was watching her stare, and a moment later she was glad that she hadn't taken her eyes off them because she saw something then that got her instantly curious.

Santana reached out and fisted the front of Rachel's shirt and pulled the shorter girl in closer to her. She leaned her head in closer to Rachel and said something that had both girls laughing.

There was something interesting about the way neither girl seemed to mind the closeness, the way they touched each other and the way that Santana had never been so comfortable around another person. Ever.

Well, other than Brittany.

That thought hit Quinn out of nowhere and she almost felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach and the air had been forced from her body. Suddenly she had to know what was going on between them.

She was given her chance a moment later when Rachel departed Santana's locker with a long meaningful look and Quinn moved quickly to take her place.

"I'm worried about you," Quinn stated simply as she leaned against the locker next to Santana's.

"Ditto," Santana replied, giving Quinn a once-over. "What even are you wearing?"

"Screw you," Quinn replied with a half-hearted glare that both girls knew she didn't mean in the least. She glanced around them and leaned in closer to Santana. "I think this thing with Rachel is getting a little…intense."

"What thing with Rachel?" Santana asked tightly, turning narrowed eyes on her friend.

Quinn held up both hands in a peaceful gesture. "Calm down. I just mean it seems like you're getting kind of…attached to her."

"So what if I am?" Santana wondered, her narrowed eyes shifting into a bit of a glare. "We're friends."

"Are you sleeping with her?" Quinn blurted out suddenly.

Santana's eyes went wide and she glanced around them to be sure they were relatively alone in the rapidly filling hallway. "What? No."

"You just seem to be really…_close_ all of a sudden," Quinn noted softly.

Santana rolled her eyes and leaned back to take one more look in the mirror hanging in her locker. "Friends, Quinn."

Quinn considered those words for a moment, seemingly contemplating something before she opened her mouth again. "What about Brittany?"

"What about her?" Santana asked, turning back to her locker and her make up.

"She told me you ran out on her the other night," Quinn replied. "She said you were fooling around and you freaked."

"That's none of your damn business," Santana said with a glare.

"It is when one of my best friends seems kind of heartbroken about it and my other friend is totally freaked out," Quinn told her.

"I'm not freaked out," Santana replied half-heartedly.

"It's okay if you are," Quinn told her gently. "Something big obviously went down a few weeks ago and if you're not okay you should tell her. She thinks you're mad at her."

Santana sighed, deflating at that. "I'm not…I can't. I'll talk to her."

Quinn nodded, watching every move her friend made. "She loves you. We all do."

"Please spare me the sappy shit, Q," Santana warned with a vaguely disgusted face even though her insides were warmed by her friend's words.

"I know, I know," Quinn replied with a grin. "Wouldn't want to give away the fact that you do have a heart in there somewhere."

"Exactly," Santana agreed with a smile. "Come on."

**XX**

A.N. I know…this story is certainly on slow burn. I appreciate you guys sticking with me on this one and I hope you enjoyed. I hope to have the next chapter up this week so keep an eye out for it!


	11. Chapter 11

"Maybe I wasn't clear the first time."

Seven words, and less than three seconds to speak them.

That was all it took for Santana to completely freeze up.

She couldn't even bring herself to look around for someone to come to her rescue, because she knew she was alone.

Suddenly he was behind her and he shoved her until she slammed into the red, metal locker she'd been emptying out in the Cheerios locker room. Colliding with the locker knocked the wind out of her and as panic set in she struggled to breathe.

One beefy hand held her against the cold metal as his hips pressed against her backside in a quick thrust. "I told you I'd make your retard friend pay if you said anything about what happened that night."

"I-"

He shoved her, cutting off her words. "What was that?" He shoved her again. "Speak up, you whore!"

"I didn't!" she exclaimed desperately. Panic was suddenly in the rear-view mirror and she was rounding the corner into completely freaking out. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks as she clutched to the edge of the locker to hold herself upright. "I swear."

"Then why do I have two of your queer club coming after me about it?"

Santana felt like her heart literally froze in her chest. Like it stopped enough to miss several beats.

"What the hell did you say!" he suddenly bellowed in her face, making her flinch.

"I swear I didn't tell them anything." She was desperate now, praying that someone would walk in on this, praying that her cell phone would ring. Praying for something. Anything to keep this from turning into that night again.

His hands dropped to her hips, holding them in place as he thrust against her again, causing her to let out a whimper.

If she had been scared when he caught her off guard, now she was terrified. It had been her own personal hell trying to live through the last several weeks since he had attacked her; she hadn't once given any thought to having to live through it again.

"I'll tell them they're wrong," she pleaded, her voice taking on a hoarse quality through her tears. "Please, don't."

He thrust hard enough to cause her to stumble into the lockers again. Then he released her. "You better. Or next time it won't be you. It won't be blondie. It'll be Berry."

And with that he was gone.

Suddenly her heart was thundering in her ears. But instead of dropping to the floor and weeping like she thought she was ready to do, she stumbled around in a hysterical haze. She stuffed what was left in her locker into her duffel bag, tossing it over her shoulder and turning to leave the room. She tripped over her own feet twice, unable to see where she was going through the welled up tears in her eyes. She spun, her back slamming into a locker, and she finally sank to the floor, her knees curled up to her chest before she burst into tears.

She tried to breathe through it, taking deep, gasping breaths, but it was no use. It felt like her vision was dimming around the edges as her panic began to consume her.

She dropped her head between her knees, sucking in a breath through her nose before blowing it out noisily through her lips, a whimper punctuating her breathing every so often.

She wasn't even sure how long she sat there before she heard the door push open again. Her heart nearly stopped as she heard the telltale squeak and she scrambled on all fours around the corner to huddle in a dry shower stall.

She pressed her hand over her mouth to try to quiet her ragged breathing when she heard soft footsteps making their way into the room.

"Santana?"

Her eyes shut, her face crumpling as relieved tears began to stream down her cheeks. A choked sob escaped her lips and suddenly those footsteps were upon her.

Rachel's face appeared and she looked absolutely heartbroken at the sight of Santana sobbing on the floor of the locker room.

Rachel approached slowly, setting a hand on each of Santana's knees as she crouched down before her. A sigh escaped her lips, hating how utterly broken the other girl seemed to be in that moment.

She twisted until she was seated on the floor next to the cheerleader and wrapped her arms around her, pulling Santana into her body as she fell apart.

"You're safe, sweetheart," Rachel whispered, pressing a kiss to the other girl's temple. "I'm right here. Breathe, sweetie, you're okay." She could feel Santana shaking in her arms and she wanted so badly to take all of this away for her friend. She'd give anything to.

It took a while for Santana to calm down enough to breathe again. Rachel sat patiently, rubbing her back and whispering quietly to her.

"Tell me what happened," Rachel requested softly.

Santana hesitated, swallowing hard. "H-he came in here."

Rachel paled. She was certain her heart literally stopped for a moment. "Tell me he didn't lay a hand on you." The way the other girl avoided her eyes told Rachel all she needed to know. "What happened?"

Santana shook her head, sniffling and swiping at her eyes. "He said someone in glee said something to him about me. Please tell me it wasn't you." Her mind was suddenly invaded by thoughts of Rachel confronting Karofsky and him hurting her like he said he would. She couldn't bear the thought of anyone laying a finger on Rachel.

"I would have to know who it was to say something," Rachel told her softly. "And I think I'm to the point where I would stab first and ask questions later." Santana actually let out a laugh at that and Rachel allowed her eyes to sweep over the beautiful face next to hers. Santana smiled far too infrequently for her liking and it warmed her up inside to know that she'd been the one to make her smile.

"Think you can stand?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana nodded, pulling herself to shaky legs with the other girl's help. Rachel wrapped an arm around her and grabbed Santana's hastily packed bag with her other, slinging it over her shoulder and guiding the other girl from the room.

"Can you drive me to Quinn's?"

Rachel's eyes snapped to Santana's for a moment in question. She hesitated. "Sure. If that's what you want."

Santana shook her head. "I need to know if it was her. And face-to-face is the only way I'll know if she's lying to me."

Rachel nodded hesitantly. "Of course."

The girls walked quietly through the halls of school, thankful that it was late enough in the afternoon that most people were already gone.

But not everyone.

"Rachel!"

Her eyes immediately turned to Santana, finding the taller girl cringing and hastily swiping at her eyes, trying to hide the remnants of her crying.

Rachel turned to find Finn jogging up to them, smiling at his girlfriend and trying unsuccessfully to hide his annoyance at finding Santana by her side. Like always.

"Hi," Rachel greeted softly.

Santana spared him a brief smile and turned her body so he didn't have a clear view of her face, blotchy and tear-streaked as it was.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

There was a moment of hesitation before Santana heard her response. "I can't today."

More silence. "Rachel, please. I need you."

"Santana needs me," Rachel told him.

"Can't she find someone else?"

Santana couldn't even begin to express how completely guilty she felt in that instant. Like she didn't deserve to have someone like Rachel helping her through the nightmare she was trying to survive. The thought of finding someone else to confide in to the depths that she had with Rachel made her sick.

"I can't today," she repeated.

A moment later Santana felt a soft hand on her arm and she was so insanely grateful for Rachel in that moment that she thought she might cry again.

"You can go with him," Santana whispered, swallowing hard and hating that she'd actually said the words out loud. "I'll be fine."

The smile that Rachel gave her in that moment was enough to actually make her tear up again. It conveyed all the understanding and caring and it let Santana know that the bond she felt with the other girl was just as strong to Rachel as it was to her. Like there was no place on Earth Rachel would rather be than exactly where she was.

"Are you always gonna pick her?" Finn asked, his anger coloring his voice. It was all Santana could do not to turn around and slap him.

"That's not what this is, and you know it," Rachel spat back.

"Don't just walk away!" he yelled down the hall, causing Rachel to stop and turn to face him.

Santana heard how composed Rachel was in the next few moments even as she felt the other girl's frame shaking next to her.

"I'm not arguing about this any more, Finn."

When she turned again, he delivered the final blow.

"If you walk away right now, we're over." His voice was soft, but it floated to both the girls' ears.

Her voice was just as soft as it carried the weight of a relationship down the empty school hallway. "Then I guess this is goodbye."

The two girls began walking again and Santana reached out to grasp Rachel's hand once they were out of sight of him. She was quiet until they got in the car. "Are you okay?"

Rachel was silent and still for a few moments before she nodded. "You said you wanted to go to Quinn's?"

Santana knew her friend was upset about what had just happened and she wanted nothing more than to take her home and try to cheer her up, but she knew she had to deal with Quinn first. Witnessing Rachel and Finn's breakup had a strange effect on her. She was so focused on Rachel that she nearly forgot her own anger. "It'll only take a minute."

Ten minutes later Santana was standing ringing Quinn's doorbell. It only took a moment for the door to swing open and her friend looked surprised to see her, but the surprise was quickly replaced with a smile. "Hi."

And just like that, her anger returned.

"Did you confront Karofsky?" Santana asked, getting right to the point.

Quinn blinked several times, her eyes falling to the floor. "Puck and I did."

"Jesus, Quinn," Santana snapped angrily. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Brittany said you were with him that night," Quinn explained quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. "Was it him?" Santana's reaction to the entire situation was more telling than the dark haired girl seemed to realize and this struck Quinn, her eyes growing wide. "What did he say to you?"

"This is why I don't say shit to you about anything important, Q!" Santana cried angrily, ignoring the question completely. She, in that exact moment, realized how much she was giving away just by being there. She shook her head, angry tears welling in her eyes. "You can't keep your damn mouth shut about anything and you always have to stick your nose in other people's business."

"I was trying to protect you," Quinn told her.

"I don't need you to protect me!" Santana cried. "What makes you think you did anything to help the situation?"

"What does that mean?" Quinn asked, her heart leaping into her throat. "Tell me what he said to you."

Santana's jaw clenched. "Until you can learn to keep your mouth shut, stay the hell away from me." She spun on her heel and marched back to the car.

"Santana, wait!" Quinn called out to her.

Santana slammed the door, exhaling shakily and clenching her fists tightly in her lap. "Let's go."

Rachel caught Quinn's eyes for a moment before pulling away from the curb and heading towards her house.

When they pulled up in front of the Berry house Rachel cut the car off and the two girls sat silently for a few moments. Rachel could feel the anger rolling off Santana in heavy waves and she wasn't quite sure what had happened with the other two girls.

"Your dads are gone for the weekend, right?" Santana asked quietly.

Rachel nodded. "Back in New York."

Santana inhaled a shaky breath and pulled out her phone. She began tapping furiously on the keys for a moment before sitting impatiently for a response from some unknown person. A moment later there was a beep and Santana sighed.

"You don't care if I get incredibly drunk tonight, do you?" Santana asked, turning tired, dark eyes her way.

Rachel really didn't like the way Santana was choosing to deal with whatever had just gone down at the school, and then with Quinn, but just like every other time Santana turned those hopelessly sad eyes her way, she caved.

"If that's what you want," Rachel told her.

"And you'll stay?" she asked softly, her eyes back on her phone, as if she was suddenly nervous.

"Of course."

Santana looked so relieved that it nearly made Rachel tear up. Her mood shifted on a dime and she grinned, winking playfully. "Sometimes I could just kiss you, Rachel Berry." She gave Rachel a long, serious look. "We'll get silly and it'll help you forget about Flubber."

Rachel mostly only pretended to act offended at the nickname, but she grinned and nodded. "If you say so."

**XX**

An hour later Puck dropped off a bottle of something in a brown paper bag and a smaller bag full of something that Rachel could only assume (from her vast movie knowledge) was marijuana.

Rachel exchanged a concerned smile with him as he left and she could tell they both felt guilty about letting Santana deal with her problems by drowning them in a bottle. Santana barely spoke a word to him and Rachel could tell she was just as pissed with him as she was with Quinn.

"Okay," Santana started, setting the bottle on the kitchen counter and turning to Rachel. She noticed the shorter girl looking a little unsure and she moved towards her, gripping the diva's hands. "Rachel, this isn't going to become a regular thing. I just had a rough week and need to loosen up. And I want you to have a little fun." She waited for Rachel to nod and she squeezed her hands before releasing them. "I promise."

"Really?"

Rachel looked so worried and so earnest that Santana really did feel like she could reach out and kiss her. So instead she wrapped the shorter girl up in a tight hug.

Rachel sighed happily. She loved it when Santana initiated the physical contact between the two of them. Some small part of her felt like it meant she was healing.

When she released the shorter girl, Santana met her eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" Rachel asked.

Santana shrugged. "Caring."

Rachel smiled bashfully and to Santana it was probably the sweetest thing she'd ever seen. "What did he bring you?"

Santana suddenly smirked, peeling the bottle out of the bag. "Spiced rum, baby. Even you'd like this stuff."

Rachel couldn't help the flip-flop of her stomach the moment the word 'baby' left the other girl's mouth, but she smiled anyways, thinking maybe she would let loose a little herself. All she really wanted to do was forget about Finn and spend time with Santana. She nodded. "Okay."

"That's my girl!" Santana exclaimed happily. She grasped Rachel's hand and pulled her to the counter to sit. "Now. We need shot glasses."

"I'm not so sure that's the best way for me to start out," Rachel told her uneasily.

Santana paused to consider this and nodded. "You're right. We should ease you into it. Pop your cherry gently." She winked.

Rachel's mouth suddenly went dry. She couldn't figure out where Santana's sudden boldness had come from. She couldn't deny that she liked the attention.

"Relax, Broadway," Santana told her with a wink. "I'm just being silly. It's Friday night, we have the house to ourselves all weekend and I finally don't feel like I've been hit by a truck. I'm just playing around."

Rachel's face burned with embarrassment. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Santana chirped. "Be happy."

Rachel suddenly grinned that thousand-watt smile of hers. "I am."

"Good," Santana replied with a grin of her own. "Then let's drink."

**XX**

"Lit up by 8 o'clock," Santana teased.

Rachel laughed a deep, throaty laugh, allowing herself to fall over into Santana's shoulder. "I told you I'd be a lightweight."

"_I_ told you you'd be a lightweight," Santana corrected with a grin.

"And it's not as if you're not a bit drunk yourself," Rachel teased, poking Santana in the side.

"It's been a while," Santana replied. "I haven't been this drunk since…" _Since the party_.

And suddenly she was breathless as the memory swept over her. She closed her eyes against it, a shudder rocking her frame. She clenched her jaw so tightly that it hurt and she willed herself to remain calm in the face of the panic that had so easily gripped her over the past several weeks.

"Stay with me, sweetie," Rachel whispered, slipping an arm around her waist. "Fight it."

Santana nodded furiously. She sucked in a shaky breath, pressing her hand to her eyes. It took a moment, but the memory faded away and she was left shaking in Rachel's arms. "God, I'm sorry."

Rachel shook her head, squeezing her gently. "Honey, don't ever apologize. You never have to with me."

Santana opened her eyes, meeting deep mocha eyes watching her closely. "Promise me you'll never drink whiskey and try to kiss me."

Rachel's eyes grew huge in that moment and that was all it took for Santana to grin and she knew that the other girl was just messing with her and deflecting at the same time, so she nodded, playing along. "Promise. But just whiskey."

Santana smirked. "Deal." She pressed a palm into Rachel's leg to give her some leverage and stood up. "I think it's time for shots."

Rachel watched her with concerned eyes, but followed nonetheless. Santana was pouring two shots out, her tongue peeking out the corner of her mouth. "Perfect." She handed one to Rachel. "Chase it with your juice. It'll be good."

Santana held her glass up, waiting for Rachel to clink them together and she tossed her head back, letting the liquid burn down her throat. She welcomed the burn. She welcomed anything that wasn't panic and fear and anxiety these days. She set her dark eyes on the girl before her, staring at the small glass in her hands. "The quicker the better."

Rachel nodded, looking adorably determined, and she tipped her head back and swallowed the shot, only mildly sputtering when she set the glass down.

"Nice," Santana told her with an approving nod. She set about making two mixed drinks as Rachel gathered some snacks and they moved to the living room to begin a movie marathon.

Santana settled into the corner of the couch, soon finding a soft body pressed into her side, and soft hair tickling her shoulder. She couldn't help but notice that she'd never felt quite so content before.

**XX**

An hour later found the two of them happily snuggled together, but Santana couldn't help but give in to her curiosity over something she'd wondered for a while. "Okay, there's something I have to ask."

"Okay," Rachel replied, looking up at her. Her face was flushed from the alcohol and she looked comfortable and calm and ridiculously beautiful. It made Santana's head swim for a moment. It was in that moment that she knew her heart was in serious trouble when it came to Rachel Berry.

"You and Finn, did you two ever…"

Rachel felt the heat rise in her cheeks and she shook her head. "No."

"You and St. James?"

"Nope." Rachel watched rather fascinated as one of Santana's perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose, obviously pleased with the news.

"So no one then?"

Rachel shot her a teasing glare. "You don't have to rub it in."

Santana suddenly let out a cackle of laughter that made the other girl smile. "I'm totally not. I'm glad none of the dogs at school got their paws on you. You're way too good for them." She shrugged. "I wish I'd waited longer."

"Puck?"

Santana gave a slow shake of her head. "Brittany."

Rachel was confused. "If it was with her, why do you wish you'd waited? She's your best friend."

"Exactly," Santana told her. She reached to the side table and began to pour two more shots. "We did it because we both wanted to get it over with. It was quick and kind of confusing, not at all romantic. Definitely not what a first time should really be."

"I can imagine Puck was no better," Rachel wondered with a smirk.

"Definitely not," Santana sighed. She gave Rachel a serious look as she handed over the drink. "When you do it, make sure it's with someone you really love. And someone who loves you enough to make it amazing and special."

"Ditto," Rachel said softly and pointedly.

"Part of me just wishes I could sleep with someone and get it over with," Santana sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Maybe then I'll realize that not everything has to be some big, scary ordeal."

"You just have to be patient," Rachel told her softly, unsure why the idea of Santana sleeping with someone made her so uneasy suddenly. She hated to admit that she might have felt a little jealous in that moment too.

"But I'm tired of being patient," Santana whined, her bottom lip poking out playfully. "I really miss sex."

Rachel smiled. "You just need to wait until you feel comfortable and make sure that you're with someone you trust completely."

"You're the only person I trust completely," Santana sighed. "Maybe I should just sleep with you." She grinned teasingly to let Rachel know she was kidding.

Rachel let out a nervous bark of a laugh, feeling her face flush a deep red and she had to wonder what was wrong with her. Deep down, she knew what was wrong with her. The thought of sleeping with Santana had invaded her mind too many times to count and she knew it would never, ever happen because they were friends, and Santana was so far above her on the social food chain that she still couldn't believe that they were even friends, let alone fantasize about things progressing to some new level some day.

Santana frowned at the other girl's strange reaction and she studied her closely for a moment, one eyebrow raised in question. "You okay?"

"Mm hmm," Rachel hummed with a nod, thinking for once that it might be better to keep her mouth shut. She quickly knocked back her shot to keep from saying anything at all.

"I was totally kidding," Santana explained quickly, thinking she'd offended her friend. Sure, she found Rachel incredibly kissable in that moment, but that didn't mean she'd ever act on it. Unless it was mutual, duh.

Rachel blinked, returning to normal in an instant and she grasped Santana's hands in hers. "I know." She shook her head, trying to lift the strange haze that had fallen over her in the last few moments. "I know." She sighed, smiling impishly herself. "Trust me, if I thought it would help you, I would."

This time Santana blanched. She hadn't really expected that to come back around to her and she found that the thought of it actually sort of excited her. Of course, the other side of the coin was that it scared her to death to think about taking that step with someone – even Rachel, who she trusted with her life - so she knew that Rachel was right. She just had to be patient. "Don't say things you don't mean, Rachel Berry, you never know when that might actually help me."

**XX**

I know, I know…it's been forever. I apologize. But this is my baby and I'm determined to actually complete it…at some point. Anyways, I had this whole thing go very differently in the first draft. Finn and Rachel stayed together for a lot longer, but I decided that things needed to start heating up a little, so you got this version instead. Hope you enjoyed!


	12. Chapter 12

A.N. I know, I know! It's been forever. I'm sorry! I don't really have much of an excuse, but hopefully the 6,000 word chapter makes up for it…

**XX**

"Hola, chica," Holly greeted quietly, lacking her usual unique theatricality.

Santana noticed immediately and turned worried eyes in her direction. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Holly told her with a shake of her head. "Can we talk?"

Santana remained suspicious, but nodded and followed Holly into the curiously empty choir room. "What's going on?"

"Sit, please," Holly requested, as she too took a seat.

Santana eyed her carefully, remaining standing near the door in case she needed to bolt. "You're kind of freaking me out, Holly," Santana said, eyeing the older woman warily.

"Honey, please sit down," Holly asked. "I just wanna talk." Once Santana was seated Holly took a deep breath, sighing it out. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." She watched silently as the younger girl's head dropped, her jaw clenching and unclenching several times. "I've kept up my end of our bargain, but it feels wrong for me to keep this to myself."

Santana's eyes snapped up, betrayal shining brightly. "You promised. And like you said, technically I didn't tell you anything."

"I know," Holly agreed. "And that's why I still haven't said anything to anyone. And if this is eating at me like this, I can only imagine what it's doing to you." She watched the teen's head drop again. "Are you sleeping?"

Santana sighed. "Sort of. It helps when I'm not alone."

"Does Rachel know about what's going on?" Holly asked softly, knowing Rachel was really the only person Santana was confiding in.

Santana nodded her head once. Her chin quivered. "I still can't…say it out loud. But she knows. Sometimes I think everyone knows."

"Would it be so bad if they did?" Holly asked carefully. She took a seat next to Santana and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently.

"Yes." Santana met her eyes and Holly could tell that the girl honestly thought it would be. It made her heart ache.

"Can you tell me why?"

Santana was immediately brought back to his threat against Brittany, and more recently against Rachel. "Because it'll be my word against his. And what if that's not enough? You know these things don't always go the way they're supposed to."

Holly was silent for a few moments before reaching out for Santana's hands. "Just promise me that you're safe. No one's…bothering you, are they?"

"No," Santana lied with a shake of her head. She couldn't bear to say out loud that someone had threatened the person she cared about more than just about anyone. It warmed her heart that Holly cared this much about her, but she didn't need someone else babying her.

"Are you sure you won't tell me what happened?" Holly asked softly.

Santana was so overwhelmed with exhaustion and emotion in that moment that it was slightly surreal. She was tired of feeling afraid. She was tired of being on edge. She was tired of people behaving like she was made of glass and she'd break at any moment. Mostly she was just tired of being tired.

"I can help you," Holly told her when she hesitated for a minute.

Santana shook her head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

It was a simple question. And if Santana was honest with herself she realized that she couldn't really answer it.

"I was raped at a party a few months ago."

And just like that Santana was overwhelmed with an entirely new set of feelings. Fear, apprehension, shame and host of too many others to even name.

But she also felt something ignite inside her that felt a little like hope. Like maybe now she could start to get past what had happened.

And then she burst into tears.

Suddenly Holly's arms were around her and she clung to the woman for all she was worth as she sobbed into her shoulder.

"It's okay, honey," Holly shushed softly. She rocked the girl in her arms slowly, talking softly to her, reassuring her and comforting her.

"Tell me what happened," Holly requested once Santana's breathing had calmed enough.

Santana took in a deep, shaky breath, her head shaking. She realized that by admitting to Holly what had happened that her teacher could technically go to the school, or her parents, or even the police. She was glad that she'd said what she said, but knew she had to play this right or things would go badly.

"I had too much to drink," Santana started carefully. "I went into the woods with a boy I didn't know. He doesn't go to our school."

Holly watched her for a long stretch of minutes and Santana's head bowed under the scrutiny, knowing if she met Holly's eyes that the older woman would know she was lying.

Silence stretched on for so long that Santana finally did look up and she found Holly deep in thought.

"I'll never see him again," Santana mumbled softly. "I've been to the doctor, I've been checked out and I'll never see him again. Please keep this between us."

"Honey, it really wouldn't feel right," Holly told her softly.

"Please, Holly," Santana begged, panic settling over her features immediately. "I'll do anything."

"Tell your parents," Holly replied instantly.

"No," Santana responded without a thought. "What would that do other than freak them out? What would I gain from that?"

"They can help you through this," Holly countered. "They can get you help."

"I can get myself help," Santana countered. "And I will. If you keep this quiet." She met Holly's gaze desperately. "Please."

Holly looked understandable conflicted. "Do you swear to me you will get help with this? Professional help?"

"I swear," Santana promised.

"Swear on Rachel," Holly demanded, knowing that the diva meant more to Santana than she was willing to admit.

Santana's eyes narrowed, knowing it was a bit of a dirty move, but she nodded. "I swear on Rachel that I'll get help."

Holly hesitated for a long moment and nodded. She slid an arm around Santana and squeezed her gently. "Are you sure you won't tell your parents? I can come with you."

"Not yet," Santana told her softly.

Holly nodded and led the teen out of the room. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

**XX**

"Hey, Britts," Santana greeted softly as she leaned against the locker next to her best friend's.

Brittany brightened just at the sound of Santana's voice and she grinned. "Hi. Are you feeling better?"

Santana nodded. "Listen, I'm sorry about freaking out on you that night."

Brittany studied her carefully and nodded. "It's okay."

"It's not," Santana countered gently. "Can we talk in private for a second?"

Brittany nodded and the two ducked into an empty classroom. Santana sighed, hating what she was about to do. "Britt, you know that you're my best friend and I trust you more than anyone, right?"

Brittany nodded happily. "Of course. Ditto."

Santana smiled. "You're like my own personal sunshine and you mean more to me than just about everyone in the whole world." She smiled when Brittany seemed to light up like a Christmas tree. "But you deserve better than me. More than me and what I can give you. Us fooling around is confusing for both of us sometimes and I know that you want it to be more. I just don't think I can give you more right now."

Brittany studied her intently for a long moment. "Because of what happened at the party?"

Santana literally felt the air in her lungs escape in an instant, her face turning panicked and her heart thundering in her chest. "Nothing happened at the party."

Brittany sighed, her head tilting to the side like it did every time Santana did something or said something that she didn't really approve of. "You may be fooling everyone else by saying that, but nobody knows you like I do. Well, almost nobody." She shrugged and took both of Santana's hands in hers. "You know that I'll always be your best friend."

Santana felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes, knowing she didn't deserve this wonderful person in her life. "I love you so much, Britt."

Brittany leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to Santana's forehead. "I love you too." She dipped her head enough to catch Santana's eyes and held her gaze for a moment. "Do me one favor though?"

"Anything," Santana replied without hesitation.

Brittany studied her face and met her eyes again. "Let someone in. It doesn't have to be me, but please let someone in."

Santana's mouth opened for a moment before she closed it and swallowed hard, nodding slightly. "Promise."

Brittany smiled and cupped Santana's cheek with one hand, pressing her lips into the other cheek softly. "I'm always here if you need me."

Santana met her gaze with a watery smile and she nodded. "Thanks, Brittany."

"Anytime," Brittany nodded. She extended her hand and instead of Santana only taking her pinky she took her whole hand and allowed the blonde to lead her to the choir room.

Santana noticed several reactions as she and Brittany entered the choir room. Quinn smiled at them both happily, glad they were getting along again. Puck seemed to be leering, which made her stomach hurt. She found Rachel's eyes next and she frowned when Rachel's eyes remained locked on Santana's hand holding Brittany's while something resembling jealousy flashed in her eyes.

**XX**

Rachel felt like a fool. She couldn't believe that she had actually convinced herself that there was actually a possibility of some sort of non-platonic relationship forming with Santana.

But for some reason she felt all warm and tingly whenever Santana was near her. Butterflies would pop up whenever the other girl smiled at her, or hugged her. She somehow suddenly felt like she held the monopoly on Santana's happiness and it did nothing but confuse her.

"Hey, Rachel."

Quinn's voice rang out from seemingly nowhere and it startled Rachel as she sat on the edge of the stage in the auditorium. It had been empty and rather dark and it was the perfect place for Rachel to sit and contemplate everything that had happened over the weekend.

"Hello, Quinn," Rachel replied softly. She glanced up to find Quinn standing in the wings about ten feet away in her uniform.

Quinn took the greeting as a sign to move closer and she did. She moved until she could sit a foot or so away from the diva on the edge of the stage. She had come with one intention: to tell Rachel that she really needed to put a lid on her feelings for Santana. When she saw the look on Rachel's face, however, she changed her mind. "Rachel, I really need you to think about what you're doing."

"What I'm doing?" Rachel asked softly, figuring the blonde wasn't sitting down to have some sort of friendly conversation. Quinn was obviously on a mission.

"With Santana," Quinn stated simply. At Rachel's confusion she shrugged. "People can't always see the things that are happening right in front of them and sometimes it's easier for people outside that bubble to recognize it."

Rachel shook her head, confusion obvious on her features. "Quinn, I'm not trying to be rude, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

Quinn pondered this for a moment. "You're falling for her. But more importantly, to me anyways, she's falling for you too."

Rachel was simply staring wide eyed. "Quinn, I'm…did she say…what are you talking about?"

"Eloquent," Quinn teased softly. "This thing with you and Santana is getting way out of hand."

"What did she tell you?" Rachel asked, her eyes widening just a bit.

It was enough for Quinn to know she'd been right all along. "She didn't have to tell me anything. I can see it in the way you look at her. The way you touch her. The way she trusts you. The emotional connection you two have. And it goes way deeper that friendship. For both of you."

"Both of…you're saying…" she trailed off with a sigh.

She studied Rachel for a moment. "Can you honestly say that after everything you've been through with Santana over the last few weeks that you don't feel something for her?"

Rachel had to admit that her experience trying to guide Santana down the road to recovery had opened her heart and her mind to new depths of emotional connection that she never really thought possible. "Why are you telling me all this?"

Quinn shrugged. "Santana has been my best friend for years. I don't want to see her get hurt."

"I care about her too," Rachel told her softly.

"I know you do," Quinn told her. "But you need to decide how you feel about her. Because you can't let her fall any further unless you're willing to fall just as far."

"I'm worried I could never compare to Brittany," Rachel sighed, more to herself than anyone. "She's a dancer and she's beautiful and perfect. She has long legs and she's blonde and a cheerleader."

"You sound jealous," Quinn noted with a smile.

"It's intense," Rachel mumbled. "With Santana. It's very intense." She shook her head with a sigh. "I used to think how I felt about Finn would be the end all be all to how deep my emotions could go for someone. Then Santana happened."

"You can't string her along," Quinn told her.

Rachel was silent for a beat. "Shouldn't you be calling me horrible names right now or telling me that your friend is way too good for me?"

Quinn laughed, but it came out more like a sigh. "I'm worried about her." Her expression turned sad. "And, while I worry that you aren't in as deep as she is, I think you're good for her."

Rachel's head shot up and met Quinn's eyes with a hopeful expression. "You do?"

Quinn smiled in spite of herself and she nodded. "I can tell that she trusts you and that you mean a lot to her."

All of Rachel's hope suddenly vanished when she realized what had her so upset in the first place. "But what about Brittany?"

"What about Brittany?" Quinn wondered.

"I've seen the way they look at each other," Rachel sighed, suddenly feeling completely foolish about thinking that maybe something could happen down the line with Santana.

"Rachel, they're best friends," Quinn pointed out softly.

Rachel shook her head with a sigh. "It's more than that, Quinn. And everyone knows it."

Quinn nodded. "You're right." And she couldn't deny that her two cheerleader friends weren't more to each other than simply friends. It had always been that way. No use lying about it now.

"I should go," Rachel sighed softly. "I need to rehearse."

Rachel left the room swiftly, her mind racing and she somehow felt worse than she had before. Now she felt like someone who would never really be good enough for the person who had somehow captured her heart.

She knew physically she could never compete with Brittany. The tall, athletic, blonde cheerleader was beautiful and Rachel knew she'd never measure up. That, and the fact that Brittany and Santana had shared a friendship for years was enough to make her wonder if she should just let Santana go.

**XX**

"Hey," Santana greeted rather cheerfully. To be honest she was feeling better than she had in months. Things with Quinn and Brittany were on the mend and she had gotten some good, uninterrupted sleep the night before. Her bruises were starting to fade and she was finally beginning to feel like herself again.

Rachel didn't meet her eyes, keeping them locked on something within her locker. "Hi."

Santana frowned and poked the diva in the shoulder with her index finger. "What's up?"

Rachel shook her head, still not meeting Santana's eyes. "Nothing. I'm late."

Santana's frown deepened until a crease between her brows formed. Something was definitely up with her friend and it was freaking her out a little. "What's wrong, Rach?"

Rachel sighed and slammed her locker, startling Santana, which made her frown. "Nothing. I have a vocal lesson that starts in ten minutes and I'm never going to make it on time"

"Want me to give you a lift?" Santana offered. "We both know I drive faster than you. Then I can stick around, maybe learn a thing or two and drop you off back here before we head home."

Rachel shook her head. "Actually, Finn asked me to come over so we can talk. It'll probably be late when I get home."

"Finn?" Santana asked, looking beyond confused. "Why are you hanging out with him?"

"He wants to talk," Rachel repeated.

Santana was smart enough to know when she was getting the brush-off, but the perplexing part was figuring out why. "Did I do something to make you mad? You're being weird."

"Just late," Rachel sighed as she brushed past Santana. "I gotta go."

"Yeah," Santana mumbled, her voice trailing off when Rachel didn't even so much as say goodbye. "Later."

She watched the diva rush down the corridor, not even so much as glancing back. She briefly wondered if maybe Finn had something to do with Rachel's odd behavior, but the way he'd been acting didn't really seem like it.

Suddenly something else struck her and she headed for the locker room to see if someone else entirely might know what was going on.

She pushed the door open to find a few of her fellow Cheerios changing, their captain getting ready to exit, but stopping with a smile when she saw Santana enter. "Hi, what are you doing in here?"

"I came to talk to you," Santana told her, glancing around to see who was still left in the room.

"Hustle up, girls," Quinn called out, causing several girls to snap to it and exit the room quickly. "What's up?"

"Rachel's acting weird," Santana told her, getting right to the point. "You don't know anything about it, do you?" The tiniest hesitation in the blonde told Santana everything she needed to know. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing that isn't true," Quinn told her. She held up a hand to silence Santana before she could go on a profanity-laced tirade in Spanish that she knew she wouldn't understand. "Now is not the time and here is not the place, Santana. After practice and we'll talk."

Santana knew she was right so she nodded. "Fine. I'll be at my place."

Quinn seemed confused by this. "I thought you were staying-,"

"My place," Santana cut in before spinning and heading for the exit.

**XX**

A few hours later Santana was seated on her front porch in a rocking chair sipping coffee when she saw Quinn's familiar red beetle pull into the driveway. Quinn exited the vehicle, showered and changed from practice and made her way up the steps.

"Hey," Quinn greeted softly as she took the seat next to Santana.

"Hi," Santana replied. "Need anything? I just made a pot of coffee."

Quinn shook her head. She regarded her friend carefully for a long minute. "I wish you would talk to me."

"Q, that's kind of why you're here, isn't it?" Santana reminded her. She wanted to be pissed at Quinn, but it was too tiring.

"You know what I mean," Quinn responded with a sigh.

"I know."

"So, what's going on?" Quinn asked when an uncomfortable silence passed over them.

"Rachel," Santana stated softly. "She blew me off for no reason."

"Are you sure there was no reason?" Quinn asked, a teasing grin on her lips. "We are talking about you here."

Santana would have smiled, or laughed or jibed right back if her stomach hadn't been churning with stress and nerves from wondering what the hell had happened this afternoon with the girl she was becoming so close to. "What did you tell her?"

Quinn watched Santana for a moment and decided that she needed to be honest with her about the conversation with Rachel. "I told her she needed to be careful," she admitted softly. She could practically feel the heat from Santana's glare. She held her hands up, meeting the other girl's dark, fiery eyes. "San, hear me out before you kill me."

"You better have a damn good reason for saying something like that to her," Santana told her lowly.

"Santana, you're my best friend," Quinn said softly. "And I love you. I'm worried about you and I don't want you to get too attached to her and have her break your heart when you already have so much going on. I'm just looking out for you."

Santana wanted to yell. She wanted to scream and argue and fight, insisting that there was nothing going on with her and Rachel, but it would be a lie. And she was tired of lying and tired of fighting every instinct within her to trust someone and let them in.

She was just so tired.

"She's with Finn right now," Santana admitted softly, her eyes rolling seemingly on their own accord.

"That's the part I can't figure out," Quinn mumbled. She shook her head thinking back to her conversation with Rachel. "She admitted to me that things with you were on a totally different level than things with Finn. She told me that she never knew relationships could be as intense as yours is."

"She said that?" Santana asked hopefully. Suddenly it felt like the ball of tension that had clenched in her gut all afternoon was loosening and she could breathe again.

Quinn nodded. "But she was worried about Brittany."

"What about Britt?" Santana asked.

"How she could compare," Quinn clarified.

"That's ridiculous," Santana said softly. "They're both important to me, but in totally different ways."

"I'm not sure Rachel knows that," Quinn told her. "Did you happen to notice the way she looked at you and Britt when the two of you came into the choir room holding hands the other day?"

Realization dawned on her and she cringed. "She looked like she wanted to set our hands on fire."

"Yeah, that's called jealousy," Quinn pointed out with a soft smile.

Santana shook her head. "Shit. How do I fix this?"

"I would give it a few days," Quinn told her. "You know how emotionally volatile Rachel can be. Everything is elevated and magnified."

"Hey," Santana grumbled. "Don't."

Quinn tried to bite back a grin. Santana's protective side was usually reserved for Brittany. "Not saying it's a bad thing. It's why she's so good at what she does. I'm just saying you should give her some space and then talk to her."

"Great plan, Q," Santana grumbled. "And in the meantime I get to stay home alone for two days."

"Stay with me," Quinn offered quickly, eager to regain some of the closeness that they'd lost. "Or I can stay with you. Whatever would make you more comfortable."

Santana considered this for a moment. "Maybe Britt will want to join us."

"Totally," Quinn replied with a smile. "Call her and see."

Santana was silent for a moment. She eyed Quinn carefully, as if she was deciding if she could trust the blonde with something. "I'm falling in love with her, Quinn."

"Sweetie, why do you think I talked to her?" Quinn asked softly. "I could see it coming from a mile away and I had to make sure she could give you what you need."

"So you're okay with me…" Santana trailed off, not really able to say the words.

"I love you no matter what," Quinn told her, standing to pull Santana into a tight hug, finding herself rather shocked when Santana let her hold on as long as she did.

"Thanks, Q," Santana said softly. "I get why you did it. But don't ever go behind my back to her again."

"Promise," Quinn said.

**XX**

"Hey, guys," Santana called out, causing Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel to stop.

The three of them glanced around to make sure the cheerleader was in fact speaking to them. Rachel's eyes locked with Santana's and the silent pleading in her eyes was more than enough for Rachel to want to sit and patch things up.

"Sit," Santana offered, though it sounded more like an order. She hadn't spoken to Rachel in three days and it was killing her. She was flooded with relief when the knot of tension that had settled in her stomach three days ago began to unwind itself once the other three took seats around the table.

"Why the unexpected invitation?" Kurt asked, unable to stop himself.

Santana shrugged. "Team camaraderie or something. Right?" She met Rachel's gaze with a half-smile.

Rachel absolutely beamed. "Absolutely." She had missed Santana terribly as well and she knew this was Santana's way of trying to get things right between them again and she was thrilled because she wasn't sure she could take much more time away from the other girl.

Finn and Puck took seats around the table as well, Puck frowning when Santana scooted her chair away from him and closer towards Quinn. Quinn tried to make light of the situation by wrapping an arm around her and swatting at Puck playfully. "I'd scoot over too. Keep your paws to yourself, Puckerman."

He made a face at her but smirked playfully as well, knowing enough to pick up on the not-so-subtle signs that Santana was not to be touched.

Santana was trying to listen to a story that Brittany was telling the group but she was distracted by a sudden presence behind her. Two huge arms landed on either side of the table where she sat, trapping her in place and making her jump.

"Hey, Lopez," a voice greeted her from next to her ear.

"Back the hell off," Quinn told him, shoving his shoulder.

Santana was unable to stop reaction. Her eyes closed and she squirmed in her seat, her fists clenching and her forehead creasing in a deep frown. "What do you want?"

"Seconds maybe?" he offered with a laugh.

Santana flinched so violently that her seat scraped against the floor loudly, causing everyone at the table to look up at her. She tried to ignore the looks they gave her, all of them certainly wondering what had caused Santana Lopez to lose her cool.

"Fuck off, Karofsky," she told him, her voice low and quivering.

From across the table Rachel could see her hands shaking. Her eyes trailed over to Puck's hands, one of which was tightening around the fork on his tray.

"That's not what you said last time," Karofsky whispered lowly. He raised his hand and began to walk to fingers down her arm.

The moment he touched her, Puck leapt from his chair. "Hey, get the hell off her," he growled, standing up so fast his chair tipped backwards and he grabbed Karofsky by his letterman jacket and shoved him away. "Get lost."

Santana twitched in her seat, closing her eyes for several seconds to try to calm down. When that didn't work, she met Rachel's eyes and knew that one person at the table knew exactly what was going on.

A soft hand on her arm caused her to jump again. She met Quinn's concerned hazel eyes. "You okay, San?"

Santana swallowed hard and nodded, standing up and walking away without a glance back.

"Santana!"

She heard Rachel's voice carry down the hall as she stalked...somewhere, anywhere. It didn't matter.

"Santana, wait!" Rachel called again, finally catching up to the taller girl. She jogged until she stood in front of Santana, careful not to touch her, but blocking her path. "My legs aren't as long as yours."

Something about the statement caught Santana completely off guard and she found herself laughing.

"Laughing in someone's face is generally considered rude," Rachel informed her, a teasing smile on her face. She grew serious in an instant. "What was that back there? With Karofsky."

The name alone made Santana flinch just enough for Rachel to notice. "He's an ass."

"Santana…" Rachel started.

"No," Santana interjected sternly. She shook her head and pushed past the other girl to head back down the hallway.

"Santana, stop!" Rachel called after her. "You were raped, weren't you?"

Santana stopped short. Her knees buckled and her heart began to thud. Suddenly everything around her tightened into razor-sharp focus. The hall began to spin and before she could even register that she was about to fall face first on the floor, there was a pair of soft arms cradling her gently before she could crash into the linoleum.

"Santana, breathe," Rachel instructed gently as she guided them both to the ground.

Santana shook her head, her hand rising to her chest as she struggled to catch her breath. Panic had overtaken her so fast that she had no idea where it had even come from.

"Easy, sweetie" Rachel coaxed softly. "Just breathe. You're having a panic attack and it'll be over soon."

Santana closed her eyes and focused on the sound of the diva's voice as she tried desperately to take long inhales and exhales. There was a warm hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles.

"I'm sorry," Rachel breathed softly. "I told you I'd never ask."

"H-he was too strong," Santana murmured, her voice bubbling with anxiety and tension. She shook her head and flinched as if fighting off an invisible force. "Too big." Her eyes closed and her breathing increased again. "I t-tried to stop him."

Rachel sat blinking. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest as the other girl confirmed her worst fear about finding Santana at the party. "Was it Karofsky?"

"It doesn't matter who it was." The cheerleader pushed herself up and squirmed out of Rachel's grasp. "Look, keep your mouth shut about this, Berry. Not a word. To anyone."

Rachel flinched at the sound of her last name dropping from Santana's mouth. She thought the days of that were long over. It hurt more than she cared to admit, but she knew it was just another way that Santana kept little walls built up around her heart.

**XX**

"Do they all know?" Santana asked the moment Rachel pulled her front door open later that day.

Rachel blinked. "Does who know what?" She was confused and had no idea what the other girl was talking about.

Santana rolled her eyes and pushed past the other girl and into the house. "Are we alone?" Rachel nodded. "Kurt, Wheezy, Britts…do any of them know?"

Rachel was quiet for a moment. She shook her head. "No. I can't be sure, but I don't think they do. Then again, _I_ don't even know, so I'm certain they don't either." She was silent for a moment. "Besides, they didn't see you that night looking so…broken so I doubt they put two and two together."

"I did not look broken," Santana hissed stubbornly. "And you do know."

Rachel frowned and reached out for the other girl, relieved when Santana allowed herself to be pulled into a warm hug. "Santana, it wasn't your fault."

"We're so not talking about this," Santana mumbled against her shoulder.

Rachel nodded immediately. She'd devised a plan since she'd been home and she decided that she needed to earn the other girl's trust again so for the time being she would let Santana breathe before she pushed again. "Okay."

Santana pulled back enough to eye her carefully, doubtfully. "Why aren't you pushing me?"

Rachel shrugged slowly. "You know that I care about you so I hope that you know that when you do decide to talk about what happened to you that you'll talk to me. Pushing you isn't going to accomplish much other than pushing you farther away from me. And that's the last thing I want to happen."

"It is?" Santana asked softly, uncertainty creeping into her voice.

"I promise it is," Rachel told her seriously, pulling the taller girl into her arms again. Her phone suddenly chirped and she glanced at it with a sigh, noting that Finn was texting her again.

"You okay?" Santana wondered. She pulled away enough that she could look at Rachel properly, but still remain in her arms. She frowned noting the tension in the other girl's face suddenly.

Rachel sighed, running her hands up and down the arms looped around her middle loosely. "I missed you."

Santana's shoulders slumped. "I missed you too." She paused a moment. "Are you and Finn back together?"

Rachel looked confused for a moment. "No. I…I lied about hanging out with him. I just needed some space to think about things."

"Why didn't you just say that?" Santana asked, squeezing her gently. "I would have given you space. I know that things have been crazy intense between us and sometimes you need time to yourself. I would have understood."

"I know," Rachel sighed. "I'm really sorry, Santana."

"It's okay," Santana told her softly. She reached up and tucked a dark curl behind Rachel's ear. "What was on your mind? Feel like talking about it?"

Rachel was quiet for a long beat before meeting Santana's gaze. "I realized that what you're going through and what I've been through helping you is probably the most real I've ever felt. I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel like the intensity of the connection that I have with you puts everything I had with Finn to shame. I had no idea that feelings could go this deep." She shook her head quickly. "I also feel like I'm not making sense. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Santana nodded, smirking a little. "I do." She paused, her heart suddenly thundering in her chest, and Santana was relieved to find it had nothing to do with fear and anxiety, and instead centered around a feeling of anticipation. "I feel it too."

Those four words caused both girls to glance up at one another. Their eyes locked and it was as if they were having a conversation with no words. None were needed. There were questions and confirmations.

"What does this mean?" Rachel asked softly; she suddenly felt scared and vulnerable.

Santana shrugged. She noticed the fear in Rachel's features and leaned forward enough to press her lips to Rachel's forehead, hoping it would soothe those fears a little. "For me it means that I trust you and I care about you. It means I like to see you smile and I like to make you laugh." She paused as a thought occurred to her that suddenly made her frown. "But you and I both know that there isn't much more that I can give you right now."

Rachel found herself nearly overcome with emotion. She was thrilled that she hadn't been imagining this connection she had with Santana. And she was relieved that the other girl had actually admitted to feeling it too. But she was desperate for Santana to know that she had no expectations of her.

Rachel squeezed her hands gently and dark eyes met hers instantly. "I've come to know you, Santana Lopez, and I found a really amazing heart under layers of sarcasm and mostly bad jokes." She grinned at the adorably indignant expression on Santana's face suddenly, but she continued. "I treasure that heart more than anything else you could ever give me and if your heart is all I ever receive, that would be more than enough for me."

Santana's face crumpled instantly, her chin quivered and her eyes misted over with tears and she found herself pulled into a warm, comforting embrace once again.

**XX**

**A.N.** I've felt weird about this section since I wrote it (which was an embarrassingly long time ago), which is part of the reason I delayed posting it for so long. Hopefully I can get something new up in the next week or so. Let me know what you thought!


	13. Chapter 13

A.N. A little drama-rama and then some fluff. Enjoy!

**XX**

Rachel blinked in the darkness and looked around frantically, trying to figure out what had woken her from a deep sleep. Her cell phone next to her bed chirped loudly and she glanced at the caller ID and frowned when Quinn's name showed up.

"H-hello?" she mumbled.

"Rachel?" Quinn practically yelled into the phone making Rachel hold it away from her ear. She could hear loud music and people in the background.

"Quinn? What's wrong?"

"It's Santana."

At that Rachel was up and out of bed in an instant. "What about her?" She flicked her light on and confirmed she was alone in the room.

"She's here at Puck's. She showed up and got completely drunk and now she's stripping and crying and acting really weird. She won't let anyone touch her and you're the only person I could think of to call."

"I'll be right there."

She flipped her phone shut and pulled on a pair of sweatpants she'd flung over the chair by her desk before she tugged on a pair of sneakers. She slipped on a hooded sweatshirt that she was certain belonged to Santana and she was out the door.

It was a party they had all been invited to. Puck was home alone and wanted to blow off some steam so he told everyone to come over. Santana had tensed at the mere mention of the word party and she had been entirely against the idea of going and Rachel had agreed.

It seemed that Santana had changed her mind.

She jogged the two blocks to Puck's house and it wasn't long before she was letting herself in the front door and being greeted by Puck.

"Hey," he greeted as he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the living room.

It appeared as though the party was in full swing and there were people everywhere. Of course the first thing she noticed was Santana standing on the dining room table swinging her tank top around her head like it was a lasso, leaving her in cutoff khaki shorts and a bra.

"Oh, thank God you're here," Quinn gushed as she approached the pair. "She won't get off the table and starts crying every time someone gets near her, but she won't stop taking her clothes off."

Rachel frowned and approached the table, where Santana seemed to be flirting with a boy who suddenly stood on one of the chairs attempting to dance with her.

"Rachel what are you doing here?" Finn asked as he suddenly appeared next to her, his eyes going wide at the scene before them.

"Come on, Lopez, take it off!" the annoying boy called over the music.

Santana shot a glare in his direction and that's when she caught sight of Rachel. A blush rose to her cheeks automatically and she stilled all actions.

"Santana, come down from there!" Rachel called.

"Who the hell are you?" the guy asked over his shoulder as he reached out to wrap an arm around Santana.

"Rachel, we need to talk," Finn told her, grasping her wrist gently to pull her away.

But Rachel's eyes were locked on Santana and she watched the panic settle over the cheerleader's features as the boy got closer to her, and she backed up, nearly slipping and falling off the table. Rachel shoved Finn and the other boy aside and stood up on the chair he'd been standing on and reached a hand out to Santana. "Please…"

Santana simply stared at the other girl's hand. She met Rachel's eyes, her chin quivering, jaw clenching and eyes tearing in an instant, like she suddenly realized in that moment that what she was doing was very wrong.

"Rachel!" Finn called, sounding more and more annoyed.

Rachel turned to him and placed one hand on his chest. "Back off, Finn. Please"

Santana took her hand and allowed herself to be led from the table top and taken into the hall towards Puck's bedroom. Rachel peeked in, finding it empty and pulled the other girl through the threshold and closed and locked the door behind them.

"Oh, Santana," Rachel whispered as she pulled the other girl close.

Santana suddenly hiccupped, sniffling back her tears as she let her arms circle the body holding her so close. "I'm sorry."

"You're okay," Rachel whispered against Santana's temple. "Easy, baby. Just breathe."

Santana simply stood in the embrace for several minutes, trying desperately to get her breathing and emotions under control.

"Want to go home?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana nodded against her and backed up a step, swiping at her eyes. "How do I look?"

Rachel smiled. "Gorgeous as always." She reached for Santana's shirt, still bunched in the other girl's left hand. She pulled the garment over Santana's head gently and removed her hoodie and zipped it up around the taller girl as well. "Come on." She extended a hand and waited until the other girl took it before guiding them from the room and to the kitchen where they found Puck and Quinn.

"Everything okay?" Quinn asked as she pulled her friend into her arms and held her for a moment before Santana squirmed her way out of the embrace. Puck held his arms out for a hug as well but was met with such apprehensive eyes that he frowned and backed up a step.

"I'm going to take her home," Rachel informed them softly.

The other two nodded and surprisingly each of them pulled Rachel in for a hug as well.

"Take care of her please," Quinn requested quietly when she hugged the shorter brunette.

Rachel nodded and they said their good byes before stepping out into the chilly night. They walked the short distance back to Rachel's place in silence, each of them rather lost in their own thoughts. Well, Rachel was lost in her thoughts worrying about her friend and Santana was far too drunk to do much other than concentrate on one foot falling in front of the other.

Once they were in the warm safety of Rachel's bedroom Santana went about stripping her clothes off and dropping them unceremoniously on the floor around her. She pulled a clean tank top over her bra before discarding her bra, leaving her in the top and panties when she crawled into bed.

Rachel tossed her sweats back over the chair, docked her iPod and turned on some soft music before shutting the lights off and crawling into bed herself.

She was silent for a long time, simply listening to the other girl breathe, trying to determine if she was still awake because she was dying to ask about the scene she had witnessed at the party.

"You have about two minutes before I totally pass out if you have something you need to get off your chest," Santana slurred softly beside her.

Rachel sighed, not sure how to exactly broach the subject. "I just wonder what that was back there."

A drunken snort was all the reply she got at first, but then there was a sniffle and Rachel softened, pulling gently at the body next to her to gather the other girl in her arms.

Santana sobbed quietly into the front of Rachel's tee shirt. "I'm so messed up right now."

Rachel felt like her heart was actually breaking a little in her chest and she squeezed Santana gently. "Santana, you're not messed up. You're going through something that's painful and scary."

"I just…" She paused and shook her head. "I just wanted to feel like myself again. I wanted to be normal again…for you. I just want to be able to give you everything."

Rachel's heart broke just a little more at that. "Sweetie and I told you that I don't expect anything from you. I just want your heart."

"I know," Santana sighed.

"It's just going to take some time, San," Rachel told her softly.

Santana nodded into her shoulder. "You called me baby."

Rachel tensed. It had just slipped out earlier and she had hoped that Santana had missed that particular term of endearment, but obviously she hadn't. "Sorry. It just slipped out."

Santana was silent for a few moments. "I didn't mind it. I actually sort of liked it coming from you."

"You did?" Rachel whispered.

Santana nodded, pulling herself up on one elbow so she could look into Rachel's eyes. "I did." She leaned a little closer, waiting for any hesitation on Rachel's part, but the diva held her ground, staring back at her intently. She closed the distance between them and pressed her lips to Rachel's in a long, slow burning kiss. Her hands rose to the back of Rachel's head, desperate to keep her close.

Rachel's hands slid up Santana's torso hesitantly before splaying across her back. She felt like her insides had ignited, and the way Santana's tongue slid across her lip made her stomach flip-flop.

It was so different than anything she and Finn had done. Santana was the most comfortable weight draped across her; she wasn't huge and heavy. She was soft and curvy and she was a _really_ good kisser.

Santana felt lightheaded. Kissing Rachel was everything she thought it would be. Sweet and soft. She felt safe and comfortable and surprisingly turned on from the kiss. She allowed her fingers to dance over Rachel's tummy and they slid under her top seemingly on their own accord.

"Santana, wait," Rachel told her as she pulled away, breathless and bewildered. "I can't do this."

Rejection stung like a bitch and Santana nodded. "Right. Sorry." Her hands retreated and she rolled off of Rachel, leaving them both much colder.

"It's not what you're thinking," Rachel insisted gently. "I promise."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" Santana grumbled as she rolled away from her.

"I can't do this right now because you're drunk and it would feel entirely too much like I was taking advantage of you," Rachel explained softly. "And I would never forgive myself if I did that to you."

Santana allowed Rachel's words to wash over her and she realized, even as drunk as she was, that what Rachel was saying made sense and she had to admit that Rachel was right.

"Look at me please," Rachel insisted quietly. She waited until the other girl rolled over and dark eyes met hers. "If you had any idea what you did to me with just one kiss, you wouldn't be looking at me like that. I want to do this with you. But not like this."

Santana nodded reluctantly and scooted close enough that she was back in Rachel's warm embrace. "Sorry. You know how emotional I get when I drink. It's just been a weird night."

"I know," Rachel told her softly, twirling a few dark strands of hair around her fingers. She pressed a kiss to Santana's temple. "Sleep, sweetie."

Santana nodded and pressed into Rachel's body a little closer, sighing happily when Rachel tightened her grip. "Hey, Rach?"

"Hmm?" Rachel hummed sleepily, her eyes opening to find Santana's in the dark.

Santana hesitated. "I love you."

Rachel's face broke out in a huge grin and she dipped to press a kiss to Santana's lips gently. "I love you, too."

**XX**

Santana could feel the hangover before she even opened her eyes the next morning. The pounding head, the queasy stomach. She kept her eyes closed and curled tighter into Rachel's body.

Rachel's arms tightened around her and she sighed contently into the shorter girl's neck, pressing her lips to the skin there softly. She pressed her ear gently to Rachel's chest, comforted by the soft thumping below the surface of her skin. She felt so warm and comfortable and so damn safe in that moment that she wanted to cry.

Instead she cracked one eye open, wincing at the morning light, and she snuck a peek at Rachel, who was lying still on her back, wide awake and deep in thought.

"You're thinking entirely too loudly," Santana mumbled softly, the late night drinking and early morning hangover giving her voice a soft gravelly quality.

The corners of Rachel's lips quirked and she glanced down at the dark head resting on her chest, pressing her lips gently to Santana's forehead. She was trying desperately to ignore the way her body reacted to that voice. "Morning."

Santana pressed her lips to Rachel's cheek and rolled over slowly, sitting up too quickly, making her head spin.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked softly, her lips turning down into a deep frown. "You're nice and warm, come back."

"I need to brush my teeth," Santana said as she stood gingerly, not moving for a moment before she headed for the bathroom.

Santana stood before the mirror, her hands grasping the edge of the sink, as memories of the night before suddenly invaded her mind. She was absolutely mortified thinking back to stripping on Puck's dining room table and then crying like a baby the moment any guy came close to her.

She had been awake for nearly an hour after Rachel had fallen asleep the night before and she had gotten a few texts from Brittany and Quinn and Puck telling her that they missed her and she'd gotten out of bed thinking maybe she could go out and see her friends and have a few drinks and things would be like they were before.

A few drinks turned into about ten and before she knew it she was absolutely _lit up_. She had danced with Brittany and Quinn and somehow that had turned into a really weird strip tease on the table.

Then Rachel had shown up.

Santana frowned as a fresh wave of shame and embarrassment washed over her and she turned the faucet on to splash some water on her face and brush her teeth.

Rachel had wrapped her in a warm hug, and called her baby. Then she took Santana home and had been so sweet and soft and so utterly kissable that Santana had nearly pushed them both into something that they weren't ready for.

"Santana?" Rachel's voice called out, punctuated by a few soft knocks on the door. "Are you okay?"

Santana rinsed off her toothbrush and moved towards the door, finding a concerned set of mocha eyes watching her once she moved back to the bedroom. "Sorry," she said softly, shaking her head. "I got a bit lost in thought."

Rachel nodded thoughtfully, moving back to the bed to snuggle under the covers once more. She reached a hand out to Santana and wriggled her fingers. "Come here."

Santana moved towards the bed, reaching for Rachel's hand and letting the other girl pull her into a warm embrace, cuddled under the covers once again.

Rachel turned on her side, one hand tucked under her head as the other reached out to tuck a dark lock of hair behind Santana's ear. Her hand lingered, her index finger trailing over Santana's jaw as she waited for the other girl to talk to her.

Santana was again overwhelmed with the complete sense of safety and serenity that she only seemed to find with the girl watching her so carefully. She leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Rachel's lips. "I was just thinking about how stupid I was last night. I went out to another party and got too drunk." She frowned and shook her head. "I just wonder if I'll ever learn."

Rachel's palm settled softly against Santana's cheek their eyes met. "You wouldn't have had that much to drink if you didn't feel safe enough to. You knew that Quinn and Brittany and Puck would keep an eye on you. You weren't stupid. You just wanted to feel like your old self. I get it. I just…"

"What?" Santana pressed softly.

Rachel shrugged. She pulled her hand from Santana's face and slid her hand over Santana's hip to wrap loosely around her waist. "I wish you'd woken me up and taken me with you. Or at least told me you were going."

Santana frowned at the strange, sad edge in Rachel's voice and she leaned forward enough to press her lips to Rachel's. "Sweetie, I just wanted you to get some sleep. You've been there for every single one of my nightmares and I know you're just as sleep deprived as I am. Believe me, I wanted you there more than anything. I just knew how much you needed the rest."

Rachel looked up into her eyes for a long beat and nodded slowly. "Next time will you let me decide between sleep and going out with you? I was really worried when I woke up and you weren't here."

"I promise." Santana nodded, a tender smile tugging at her lips. "And I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

It was Rachel's turn to smile affectionately. "Of course."

Suddenly Santana seemed to remember the rest of the night and she felt the shame burning in her belly again. "And I'm sorry about the rest of the night," she said softly. "Ya know, once we got back here. I'd never push you into something you're not ready for."

Rachel shook her head, pulling Santana's body closer to her own, kissing her slowly, softly. When she pulled away she met dark eyes. "I don't know if you remember, but I told you last night that I want to. With you. I feel so safe with you. But at the same time I feel so completely undone. I've never felt this way about anyone before and it would _kill_ me if we went too fast and you weren't completely ready to go there yet."

"I do remember," Santana replied softly, suddenly looking rather shy and Rachel thought it was probably the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. Santana bit her lip. "I know I was drunk, but I still meant what I said. And I'll say it again now that I'm sober." She waited until those gorgeous chocolate eyes met hers again. "I love you, Rachel."

Suddenly Rachel seemed to absolutely light up and she grinned that thousand-watt smile that Santana loved so much. She cradled Santana's face in her palms gently and kissed her. "I love you too."

**XX**

A.N. I know it's not the longest update, but hopefully I get bonus points for updating relatively quickly! Things are about to unravel in the next chapter so it just made sense to cut the update off here. Let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

Santana was standing at her locker checking her make up. She was pleased with the thought that her face was healed completely and she was beginning to look like herself even though sometimes her insides still felt like they were shattered in a million pieces.

_Thank God I have someone trying to put me back together_, she thought to herself as she pictured Rachel in her minds eye, making her smile.

"Hi," Quinn greeted with a grin, noting her friend's smile. It had been far too long since she'd seen Santana smile like that.

Santana smiled back. "Hi."

Suddenly Quinn was absolutely beaming. "You look like you're feeling better."

Santana shrugged. "Not having bruises and cuts all over my gorgeous mug helps."

"You're kind of glowing," Quinn noted, her grin remaining as her eyes turned curious. "What's up with you?"

Santana shrugged again, trying to appear casual about it. "You call it a glow, I call it love."

"Love?" Quinn repeated, looking shocked but happy for her friend. "Have you told your parents?"

Santana shook her head. "Not yet. Mom won't be back from London for another week. I want to wait until I can tell them at the same time."

"So you're official then?" Quinn asked with a grin.

Santana nodded slowly. "It's crazy, right?"

Before Quinn could answer, Santana's face dropped when she noticed a hulking jock rushing past her with a slushie. It wasn't so much that he had the slushie; it was where he was headed with it.

Straight towards Rachel.

"Karofsky!" Santana yelled, causing him to turn.

"What?" He smiled lecherously at her, making her stomach turn. He grabbed his crotch. "Need something?"

Something happened in that moment. Her concern for Rachel right then was so intense that her fear of the jock didn't even register. Her eyes narrowed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Slushying the loser." He stared at her, grin widening, silently daring her to try to stop him.

Santana stalked closer to him, some of her former self returning. "Hell no you're not."

"Try and stop me."

"Do it and you'll regret it." It wasn't a threat, it was a promise.

He stared at her for a long time before turning and tossing the slushie in Rachel's face. He smirked and tossed the cup down the hall so it clattered at Santana's feet and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the locker next to him.

The hall went almost dead silent as everyone stopped and stared at the showdown between Karofsky and Quinn and Santana.

"It was him," Santana told Quinn, standing to her left.

Quinn's eyes went wide. "Karofsky was the one that hurt you?"

Santana nodded, her eyes locked on his, refusing to back down this time. "He raped me."

Quinn turned to him, stalking towards him slowly. Her gaze turned deadly and suddenly it was dead silent in the hall. "You better pray that your parents take you out of school before I'm finished with you. Because by the time I'm done, you won't be able to step foot in these halls again."

Santana ignored them, knowing Quinn could handle Karofsky. He'd been afraid of her since junior high. Instead, her gaze fell on Rachel, who had Puck standing next to her, with him looking torn between helping Rachel and helping Quinn. She could feel her panic suddenly making a delayed appearance, threatening to swallow her whole and she grabbed Rachel and her emergency slushie bag and headed for the nearest bathroom.

Santana had the room cleared in a matter of seconds and she tossed Rachel's bag down and dug through it looking for a towel.

"Are you okay?" they both asked at the same time.

"I'm okay," Rachel said. "Just sticky. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Santana replied quickly. She slid the towel around Rachel's shoulders and guided her towards a sink. "Let's get you cleaned up first."

They remained silent as Santana washed the slushie from Rachel's hair. Rachel was silent as she watched Santana work over her to rinse her hair out. She could tell the other girl was barely holding it together and all she wanted was to wrap Santana in a hug and not let go.

Once Rachel was in clean clothes she pulled Santana into her arms. She could feel the taller girl trembling and she squeezed her a little tighter. "Are you okay?"

Santana's head shook and she finally broke down into sobs.

"Oh, sweetie," Rachel said softly, stroking her back gently. "It's gonna be okay."

Santana shook her head against Rachel's shoulder. "I have a feeling it'll be a long time until everything is okay."

Both girls looked up as the door swung open and Quinn stood before them with Sue Sylvester, who had broken up the fight.

Quinn's left eye was swollen and her nose was bleeding. Her bottom lip was split, but she was looking extremely smug.

Sue stared at Santana for a long minute, an unreadable expression on her face. "You two, come with me and Rocky to Figgins' office."

"Coach?" Santana asked slowly, looking apprehensive.

"The police have been called," Sue informed them softly. "David will be put in custody and we're going to talk to Figgins before Rachel takes you to the hospital."

**XX**

A few hours later she'd spoken to the police, she'd spoken to the doctors and she was sitting on a hospital bed after being examined, even though she still wasn't sure why she had been.

The doctors had told her that it was more a precaution to ensure there hadn't been any permanent damage internally. She'd had blood drawn and every test imaginable done to be sure that she was perfectly healthy and so far everything had come back negative.

Through the entire exam Rachel remained patiently at her side, holding her hand through the entire ordeal. Santana was beyond grateful for her presence. Rachel kept her grounded when a panic attack threatened.

Santana only wished she'd been present during the questioning, but it was clear the police wanted her alone for that and it had been hell.

She was seated on the edge of a bed, her legs dangling off the side, and she glanced up as the door to her room slid open, letting out a sigh of relief when Rachel poked her head in. "Can I come in?"

"Please," Santana replied immediately, her shoulders slumping as relief settled over her now that Rachel was back in the room. "That was terrible."

Rachel paused halfway into the room and she studied Santana carefully for a moment.

Something was wrong.

"San? What is it?" she asked quietly, moving towards her once again. She cradled Santana's face in her palms carefully, kissing her gently.

Santana swallowed thickly, her heart rate spiking instantly. "Karofsky took off."

A sharp pang of fear rippled through Rachel and her brow tightened into a deep frown. "What?"

Santana sighed, her eyes turning up towards the bright fluorescent lights, and she blinked rapidly, trying to fight back tears. "He got away somehow. He took off at school before the police showed up."

"He's just out there running free?" Rachel asked, totally baffled as to how this had happened.

Santana's chin quivered and she blinked, fat tears finally tumbling over her cheeks and a moment later she was wrapped up in Rachel's embrace.

"Easy, baby," Rachel said softly, rubbing circles over Santana's back. "The police will find him."

Santana nodded, remaining silent as she tried to fight back her panic and her tears, trying desperately to draw as much comfort from Rachel as she could.

"What did the police say when they talked to you?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana shook her head, swiping at her tears. "They just asked me questions about what happened and then one of them came in and said that he'd gone AWOL."

"Are you alright?" Rachel asked, pulling back enough to settle between Santana's dangling legs, a hand falling to either thigh.

Santana nodded, her hands resting on top of Rachel's. "Just freaked out. What if the police can't find him? What if he gets his hands on me now that this is all out in the open?" She was silent for a beat before her biggest fear came out. "What if my dad doesn't believe me?"

"Sweetie, you know that will never happen," Rachel assured her softly, her heart aching painfully in her chest.

"Miss Lopez, your father is here," a nurse informed her after peeking her head in the door.

Santana nodded wordlessly, her mouth suddenly going dry and her panic washing over her in a wave. A gentle squeeze to her hand brought her back to the present and she gazed into those warm eyes watching her so intently as Rachel settled back into her seat.

"Are you sure you don't want me to leave?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana shook her head, her grip on Rachel's hand tightening. "Please stay. I know it'll be uncomfortable, but I can't do this without you."

Rachel nodded and stood abruptly when the door opened and Carlos Lopez stood almost panting in the doorway, clearly winded from running. He was a large, good-looking man who had an intense gaze set on his daughter.

"Santana?" he questioned softly, taking three steps towards her and pulling her into his arms. "Thank God. They told me you were here and I was afraid it was a car accident."

"No," she sighed, sounding relieved. "Daddy, I'm fine."

"What are you doing here?" he asked, pulling back to cup her face in his hands gently. He only then seemed to notice Rachel sitting nearby. "And who is this?"

"Rachel Berry," Rachel answered, standing up, her hand extended and a timid smile on her face.

He smiled at her politeness. He'd seen far too many teenagers with no manners and it was a huge pet peeve of his. "Carlos Lopez. Nice to meet you."

"You too, Mr. Lopez," Rachel replied softly.

He smiled warmly at her before turning his full attention back to his daughter. "Tell me what happened, honey."

"You should sit," she told him softly.

Rachel immediately recognized the inflection change in her voice and knew she was close to tears so she reclaimed her seat and held Santana's left hand between both of hers.

Santana looked her way for a long moment. She tried to calm her racing heart, nodding when Rachel offered a warm, encouraging smile.

Carlos noticed immediately. Something about the two girls and the way they were sitting, the way they were silently communicating, indicated they were very close. He took the seat on the other side of Santana and gripped her other hand.

"Daddy, I have to tell you something and I need you to listen and not freak out until I'm finished telling you," she told him softly, her chin practically resting on her chest as she spoke, her voice getting thick with tears already.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked instantly, his worst fear surfacing immediately.

"No," she answered. She almost smiled at the relief she could see washing over his features, but she knew what was coming and how much worse it was than being pregnant. She took a deep breath and drew strength from the squeeze to her left hand. "I was at a party a few months ago and I was drinking. A bunch of us, cheerleaders and football players, decided to go for a walk in the woods behind the house."

Rachel froze in her seat because she'd never actually heard the story of what had happened that night.

"Before I knew it, most of the other people had broken off to go back to the house or go make out or whatever, but I was left alone with one of the guys from the football team."

Rachel spared a glance to Santana's father, who at this point had gone completely pale, as if he knew what was coming next.

"He started kissing me, but I pulled away from him to go back to the house. He's vile, and I didn't want to do anything with him. I just wanted to go back to the party, but he grabbed me by my shirt and it ripped when he pulled me into him again. I tried to knee him, but I missed." She paused, her chin quivering and tears pooling in her eyes. "I tried to fight him off. He was too big and too strong." She met her father's teary gaze then. "Daddy, he raped me."

If Rachel hadn't been there in the room with him, she never would have believed what happened in the next few seconds. One moment she was watching the horrified, heartbroken father of the girl she was in love with, and the next moment she was watching a man hell-bent on revenge.

"Who?" he growled, standing up so abruptly that his chair tipped over. "Who did this to you?"

Santana swallowed thickly. "His name is David Karofsky. He goes to school with us."

Carlos leaned over so he could look her in the eye. "I will kill him for this."

Santana shook her head. "Daddy, the police told me that he got away from them."

Carlos suddenly let loose an impressive string of curse words – in English and Spanish- that made Rachel blush. "I'll deal with them later." He pulled Santana into a gentle hug, holding her tightly for a few moments before he drew back and held her by the shoulders and gazed at her with teary eyes. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Maybe if I'd been around more-"

"No, Daddy," Santana cut him off with a shake of her head. "It's not your fault. It's not mine either. It's his."

"You're right. It is his." Carlos gazed at her with concerned eyes for a long beat before his gaze settled on Rachel. "You seem very close to Santana. I'm assuming I have you to thank for getting her through this ordeal?"

"She's been amazing," Santana answered, unable to keep the adoration out of her voice, and Carlos noticed immediately.

Rachel blushed, shrugging modestly. "I've just tried to be a good friend."

Carlos looked between them. "Rachel, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking care of my girl." He set his gaze on Santana. "I just wish you had come to me. It kills me to think you've been fighting with this alone."

"I haven't been alone," Santana told him, squeezing Rachel's hand. "Rachel's been putting me back together."

Carlos gathered her in his arms carefully and squeezed her gently. "Well, starting now, honey, I'm going to be helping with that as much as I can."

Santana let out a relieved sigh in her father's arms. She had been so worried about everything getting out and having all her personal business aired out for everyone to see, but now that it had happened, she felt so much better. Lighter, even. "Can we go home now?"

Carlos nodded, cupping her face and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'll take care of it. Sit tight."

Once they were alone again, Rachel stood up and pulled Santana into her arms and held her. Santana was content to stay in that embrace as long as Rachel was willing to hold on to her.

Rachel pulled back enough to watch Santana carefully for a few moments. "Is it stupid to ask how you feel now that your dad knows?"

Santana shook her head, leaning forward enough to kiss Rachel softly. "Not at all, baby girl. I was just thinking about how good it feels to have it all out in the open. It sounds weird, I know."

Rachel shook her head. "It doesn't." Her eyes mapped the beautiful face before her and she smiled softly. "I love you."

Santana smiled, reaching out to run her hand over Rachel's hair affectionately, gently pulling her close by the back of her head. She pressed their lips together softly. "Love you too."

**XX**

A few hours later the three of them were seated around the Lopez living room with an open pizza box sitting on the ottoman. The two girls were seated on the couch, trying to eat despite the unease that had settled upon them finding that Karofsky still hadn't been located.

"Santana, I don't want you going anywhere alone until he's found," Carlos said from his position on the floor on the other side of the ottoman.

"I agree completely," Rachel told her.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Why do I get the feeling that this is just the first in a long line of rule changes."

"Honey, we just want to keep you safe," Carlos told her. "And I'm going to get you in to see a therapist as soon as I can."

Santana's face soured instantly. "Do I have to?"

"Yes!" Carlos and Rachel answered immediately.

Santana's scowl deepened and she poked Rachel in the side. "You're supposed to be on my side."

Rachel looked at her with a glowing smile. "I love you, so I'm on whatever side keeps you the safest." Her eyes suddenly went wide when she realized what she said. Her eyes met Santana's and they both turned to Carlos.

He gave them both a look. "Please don't even try to act like you two were keeping that a secret. I could tell from the moment I saw you together."

Rachel suddenly felt like she was imposing on an important conversation so she excused herself to get another glass of water to give them some privacy.

Santana suddenly looked worried. "Please tell me you're okay with this."

"Of course I am, honey," he told her softly. "I love you no matter what. And I know I've only known Rachel for a few hours, but she seems genuinely kind and smart and she obviously cares about you a lot. I honestly couldn't have asked for more from someone you have a relationship with."

"She…" Santana trailed off after a moment as a rush of emotion suddenly overwhelmed her. "She just means a lot to me."

"I can tell," Carlos replied.

"Do you think Mom will be okay with it?" Santana asked softly.

Carlos nodded, smiling warmly at her. "Honey, you haven't really been fooling anyone all these years with your relationship with Brittany. We've known for a long time."

Santana felt the relief wash over her and her shoulders slumped. Something occurred to her then. "What do you think mom will say about all the other stuff?"

Carlos was quiet for a moment, watching as Rachel moved back into the room and took her seat at his daughter's side. "I think she'll be heartbroken that this happened to you, but I know that she will do everything in her power to help you through this. We all will. Right, Rachel?"

Rachel smiled, leaning over to press a quick kiss to Santana's cheek. "Absolutely."

The doorbell suddenly chimed through the house making the three occupants exchange a glance, wondering who would be at the door at this hour.

"I'll get it," Carlos told them, standing from his place on the floor and heading for the front door.

"How are you holding up?" Rachel asked softly, reaching out to rub comforting circles on Santana's back.

Santana was quiet for a moment. "Today was kind of cathartic. I feel a lot lighter than I have in weeks. I know I probably shouldn't feel that way because he's still out there somewhere and who knows what's going to happen if he's caught. But somehow I just have a feeling that everything's gonna be okay now."

"Like a weight's been lifted?" Rachel asked, smiling affectionately at her.

Santana nodded. "Exactly." She felt her heart flutter under the glow of that smile and she was suddenly filled with that strange sense of anticipation that encompassed her when she thought about finally moving on from all of this with the beautiful girl sitting next to her.

They both looked up when they heard the front door close and Carlos came back into the room, his expression unreadable.

"Daddy?" Santana asked, her brow creasing in a worried frown.

Carlos stood absolutely still, a baffled expression suddenly settling on his handsome features before he turned to the girls. "That was one of the detectives. They found David Karofsky."

Santana's stomach suddenly rolled violently and lurched into her throat. "Where was he?"

"They found him in his family's garage," Carlos said softly. "With a noose around his neck, hanging from the rafters."

"What?" Rachel exclaimed, her hand unconsciously reaching out to grasp Santana's, who was silent next to her.

Carlos faced them then. "He's dead. Apparently he left a note. He admitted to attacking Santana and apologized for it. I'm assuming there's more, but that's all they told me."

Santana felt them both staring at her, like they were waiting for her to freak out, or cry, or melt down, something. Anything. But she was so completely conflicted that she didn't know how to react.

On one hand, she hated David Karofsky for not only attacking her, but showing absolutely no remorse whatsoever. He'd tormented her for weeks after the attack. But on the other hand, picturing him hanging in his garage left her with nothing but a feeling of pity for him.

Rachel studied Santana carefully, noting the conflict in her eyes, the slump of her shoulders and the frown tugging at her lips.

"Honey, are you alright?" Carlos asked softly, asking before Rachel could.

Santana nodded automatically. "I think I just want to get some sleep. It's been a really long day."

Carlos nodded, exchanging a concerned glance with Rachel. "Of course, you two go on up to bed. I'm taking a few days off to get you all squared away with therapy and everything, so I'll see you girls in the morning." He moved to press a kiss to each girl's forehead.

Rachel nodded absently, her attention focused on Santana. She reached out to wrap an arm around her to guide her towards the stairs. "Good night, Mr. Lopez."

"Night, Daddy," Santana said, her body reacting as if it was on auto-pilot.

"Night, girls."

As soon as Santana crossed the threshold to her bedroom she seemed to snap out of it and she went about her normal nightly routine of changing, washing her face and brushing her teeth, with Rachel doing the same, keeping a watchful eye on her.

Once they were settled comfortably in Santana's bed, Rachel turned on her side facing the other girl. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Santana was silent for so long that Rachel nearly repeated the question, but suddenly she turned to mirror Rachel's position. "No. Is that okay?"

Rachel nodded, reaching out to tuck a dark curl behind Santana's ear. "Of course. Is there anything I can do?"

"Not unless you can shut my brain off," Santana sighed.

"I don't know about that," Rachel breathed softly, scooting close enough to press a long, slow kiss to Santana's lips. "But I can try to distract you if you want?"

Finally Santana cracked a smile and she reached out to grasp Rachel's arm slowly. She gently coaxed Rachel towards her until the diva's weight was settled comfortably on top of her.

Rachel propped herself on one elbow and traced the pad of one finger over the slope of Santana's eyebrow, then down her nose, then across the bow of her lips. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" She leaned closer and allowed her lips to follow the same path. She gently nudged Santana's head to the side and allowed her lips to press softly against the soft skin of her neck.

"Fair warning," Santana breathed, "the fastest way to get into my pants – or panties in this particular case - is kissing that spot right there, so unless you want things to unravel really fast, you might want to try somewhere else."

Rachel smirked, nuzzling that spot teasingly for just a moment. "I think I'll file that away for future use."

A breathy sort of moan escaped Santana's lips in that moment, causing a spike in Rachel's heart rate. "Now you're just teasing."

"Hmm," Rachel hummed, pressing her lips to Santana's jaw. She moved back to Santana's mouth, allowing her teeth to sink into a full bottom lip before soothing it with a kiss.

"Jesus," Santana groaned, her hands fisting in the back of Rachel's shirt to keep them from wandering too far. "How are you so good at this?"

"Maybe I'm just good at you," Rachel breathed, pulling back to meet the other girl's eyes.

"Mmm," Santana hummed. She reached a hand up to trace Rachel's bottom lip with her thumb as her other snuck under the back of Rachel's shirt and splayed softly against her lower back. "That you are, baby girl."

Rachel suddenly smiled rather shyly. "I _really_ like it when you call me that."

Santana smirked. "Expect me to use it a lot more if it elicits that kind of smile." She tightened her hold on Rachel, pulling the shorter girl impossibly close, smiling when Rachel's head dropped to her shoulder. "Thank you for everything, Rachel. I'm not sure I would have survived this without you."

Rachel pressed her lips to Santana's neck. "You never have to thank me. I love you and I'm here for you. Whatever you need. I promise."

**XX**

A.N. Like the last chapter, I had a lot of doubts about this one. Originally I didn't kill Dave off. I had Carlos attack him in the ER, but I changed my mind for two reasons and one is very selfish; I didn't want to have to deal with the trial and all that he-said, she-said bullshit (it's not exactly that simple, but it's enough of an explanation for an author's note). The second reason was that I felt like suicide was a very real option for someone who hates himself and then does something horrible because he hate himself. Point being, it's different and I wasn't sure how people would respond to it.

Anyways, we're approaching the end of this one. I see two or three more chapters before we come to a close. Hope you enjoyed


End file.
